Divergent world - what if
by sherrielee
Summary: The war never happened. It's the same characters, same world. How does Tris, Tobias, Christina and everyone else live their lives in Dauntless after initiations? Read to find out. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Tobias**

Number one, Tris. I see her standing on the other side of the room, looking at the screen. I walk over to her and tap her shoulder. She turns around, wearing a big smile on her face.

"You think giving you a hug would give away too much?" I ask.

"You know," she says, "I don't really care." She stands on her tiptoes, pressing her lips against mine. At first I'm surprised, but then I lean in and gently brush her cheek, smiling between our kisses. She pulls back and hugs me.

I look up and my eyes meet Christina's. She looks shocked and as do Will who is standing next to her.

"Tris," I say. She lets go of me and I nod toward Christina and Will.

"I guess we're not a secret anymore," she says, smiling a little.

"I guess. You should go and deal with that." She nods and I walk back to Zeke, who's smirking at me.

"Don't start.

"What man," he says. "I think it's nice. You and the stiff."

"Don't call her that."

"Just teasing. Seriously, it's great."

"Just don't go telling people. I don't want anyone to know about it yet."

"Oh I won't." He grins.

I give him a warning look and he just keeps smiling. I look over at Tris again. She's talking to Will and Christina. She says something that they both look stunned about.I wonder how things will be now, when they are members too. I won't be Tris' instructor anymore. I'll just be her, boyfriend? She asked me once if I wanted her to call me that, and I answered yes. We never really talked about it again, so I'm not sure.

"So the Stiff came first place," I hear a voice behind me. I turn around to see Shauna standing next to Zeke and me.

"Looks like it," I say, trying to sound uninterested. Zeke looks at me obviously thinking I should tell Shauna about Tris and me. I won't though, not until I talk to Tris.

**Tris**

I walk up to Christina and Will. They look shocked. "What just happened," Christina says frowning. Will is still just staring at me.

"I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't risk people thinking my rank had something to do with him."

"So, you guys are like a thing?" Will says.

I shrug. "I'm not sure what we are."

"But, how long have you been…?" Christina says. I see some disappointment in her eyes. She told me everything about her and Will, and I didn't tell her anything about what I was doing. A guilt aches in my stomach. I should've told her.

"I'm…" I start, but then Eric stands up again, asking for everyone's attention.

"Our new dauntless members, you will be choosing your professions tomorrow morning at 9. You can get the keys to your new apartments from Zeke, he's over there."

Zeke is standing next to Tobias and Shauna.

"Congratulations to the ten new members. You're with us now, Dauntless."

Everyone starts cheering and laughing and I know, Divergent or not, this is where I belong.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Tris**

I unlock the door and set down my bag on the floor. So this is my new apartment. I can't help thinking about my family. I wonder how they are. I wonder how life is for Caleb in Erudite and I wonder what my mom and dad are doing. Are they all okay?

I close the door behind me and start to look around. It has a kitchen, one bedroom, one bathroom and a living room. It's pretty small, but I don't mind. It's perfect for me. I unpack the little clothes I own and hang them in the bedroom closet. I made it. I actually made it through initiations and I can finally stop worrying about the leaders finding out that I'm Divergent. I still have to be careful though, and not talk about it. Just act like a normal dauntless teenager which, to be fair, I actually am.

I lay down on the bed, thinking about tomorrow. I'm don't even know what I'll choose. I told Christina something like ambassador for the other factions, but I don't know if that's what I really want. Like Christina said, it might be fun to be an instructor like Tobias. Then I would probably be given another job for a while since the new initiates won't come until next year. Besides being trained to be an instructor I still have to do something. I know there are four available positions for that, two for the dauntless born initiates and two for the transfer initiates. However it doesn't seem to be so popular since Tobias and Lauren we're the only ones who chose it. Maybe it will be different this year. Tobias is still an instructor so there are three left this year. I heard Lauren decided to work with Tori at the tattoo parlor instead this year. I don't know what the others want so I'll just have to wait and see until tomorrow.

My thoughts are interrupted when someone knocks on my door. I smile a little and it feels great to have my own apartment. I get up from the bed and walk over to open the door. Tobias is standing outside. "Hi," he says.

I had forgotten about him during these past hours. After the new members where called out I went straight to my apartment. I just wanted to settle down as quickly as possible.

"Hi," I say back. He walks in and presses his lips to mine. He shuts the door behind us with his foot and slowly walks toward the couch in the living room, still kissing me.

"Tobias," I say and try to ignore the nervous feeling I get every time he touches me.

"I missed you," he says and kisses my neck.

"We saw each just a few hours ago."

"Too long." He pulls away and smiles a little. We sit down on the couch. "Have you decided what job you'll choose?" He says while gently brushing my thigh.

"Maybe instructor, like you."

"I think that would be a perfect fit for you," he says. "I could probably help you with coaching too. They have a mandatory instructor training program, basically like for any job you would have to learn how to do."

I wonder what it would be like, training alone with Tobias almost everyday. It doesn't sound so bad but is spending that much time together good for a relationship? Is this even a relationship? I wouldn't know. I've never done anything like this before.

"Yeah. I guess I could imagine doing that."

**Tobias**

I look into her eyes and they're beautiful. If she choose instructor tomorrow I would spend so much time with her. I'm happier when I'm with her, even though she still makes me nervous sometimes.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Us," I say. She smiles and places her lips on my cheek. I can feel the touch in my entire body. It's foolish how depended I am of her. I don't know how to deal with my emotions cause I've never had them before. I just know that she helps me, in every way possible.

I stay with her and we talk for hours. She's not like other girls at all because I can talk to her so easily, like it's the most common thing in the world. I look at the clock. It's almost 8 pm. "It's getting late. I should go," I say.

"Yeah."

I get up and start walking toward the door. Before I leave I turn toward her. "Good luck tomorrow," I say. "You'll make the right choice. You always do."

**Tris **

He closes the door behind him. I'm still unsure of what we are. I'm completely absorbed by him but I just can't seem to determine my feelings. My eyelids feel much heavier and I decide to go to sleep. As I get up from the couch someone knocks on my door. When I open it, Christina throws herself in my arms and laughs so loudly I have to cover my ears. "Christina, what are you doing here so late?" I say trying to overpower her laugh.

"I couldn't just go to sleep without saying goodnight to my former roomie. Duh."

I laugh a little. "I'm gonna miss having you as my roommate."

"Me too! But I live just a few apartments down the hallway. We still live really close to each other."

"Really?"

She nods. "So, I bumped into Four outside. Has he been here like, all day?"

"Not all day," I say grinning.

"So when are you planning to tell me your story?"

"Our story?"

"Yeah, like how you got together and stuff."

"Not today." I push her outside the apartment. "I promise, you'll hear all about it, just not now. I need sleep."

"Alright fine." She gives me a quick hug and disappears around the corner. I close the door and walk back to my bedroom. I crawl under the covers. Tomorrow I'm making a huge decision that will define my entire future with Dauntless. I feel like sleep will be avoiding me tonight.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Tobias**

I wake up to the alarm at 7.30 am. In one and a half hours Tris will make her choice. Is it possible that I'm as nervous as she is, if not more? I decide to go visit her before. I take a quick shower and then I leave for her apartment. I knock, but she doesn't answer. I turn the doorknob and it's not locked. She really should lock it. I look around to see if someone's around. Zeke stands further down the corridor. He smirks at me, but I ignore him and walk in. I see Tris lying in her bed sleeping. She looks peaceful. I sit down on the chair next to the bed and watch her. She mumbles something in her sleep and I wonder what she's dreaming. After a few minutes she opens her eyes.

**Tris**

I see someone sitting across the room. The word _someone_ scares me and my first thought is to run, but when he starts to laugh, I realize it is just Tobias.

"Tobias, how did you get in?"

"You know you shouldn't make a habit of not locking your door?"

"I forgot," I say and sit up.

I put my feet down on the cold concrete floor and wrap my black robe around my shoulders. He smiles and walks over to me.

"Good morning," I say and wrap my arms around his neck.

He hugs me back. "Just one hour left."

"Yeah." I pull away. "I have to go and get ready." I turn around but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back. "Tris." He looks into my eyes. "Whatever you choose today, we'll be okay. There is no right choice. You choose what you want to and I'll support you no matter what. Okay?"

"You're pretty great you know that?"

He smiles. "Now go get ready. We don't want to be late."

"I'll go in first," he says when we reach the dining hall doors.

"How long do you think we'll have to hide this? Us?" I say.

"I don't know. For a while, I guess."

"Yeah... You go in first. I'll wait a few minutes. What time is it?"

"It's 10.52 am. You can do this Tris."

8 minutes to go, then, it is time.

**Tobias**

I walk over to Zeke who's standing next to Eric and Max.

"Hey man," he says when he sees me. "What's up?"

"Same old," I say, knowing he saw me this morning going into Tris's apartment.

"How's Tris?"

I cast an eye at Eric and Max. They're looking in another direction. "She's fine, despite the circumstances."

"And those are?"

"Really?"

"What? Just making conversation."

"Then don't ask me about Tris." I grab his arm and drag him away from the crowd. "Listen, Tris and I've been seeing each other for a while now, and we're good. She's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I'm not going to let you and your careless non-keeping secrets big head ruin that for us. Tris can't afford that right now. We will tell everyone, she just needs to settle down here in Dauntless first. You keep your mouth shut or I will make you regret it. You got it?"

First he just stands there, looking a bit embarrassed. He probably didn't expect me to say all that. He scratches his neck, like he always do when he feels like he's done something bad. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was such a sensitive subject. I won't mention it again." He looks down. "Just know that I'm sorry and that you can come and talk to me about it if you need any advice."

I can't help but smile. He doesn't show this side very often. He notices me grinning and realizes he has to lighten up the situation. He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Besides, I'm more experienced than you."

I bat his hand away. "You we're so close. So close."

**Tris**

When it's 10.55 am, I walk through the doors. I don't see Tobias. I want to talk to him before I make my choice.

"Tris!" Uriah sneaks up behind me.

"Uriah, hey. Have you seen To…um…Four?"

"Last I saw him he was with Zeke by the stand, next to Eric and Max."

"Thanks."

"Hey Tris? Have you decided what to choose?"

"I think so, you?"

"Yeah," he says, but I can sense the nervousness in his voice. Then he leaves.

Uriah was ranked second, after me. I'm guessing he's going to chose instructor for the dauntless born. It would fit him perfectly. I know what I want, but I need to talk to Tobias before. Then I spot him across the room and he is talking to Zeke. Just as I'm about to make my way over to him, Eric calls my name. He's pointing at the other ones standing to his right. Christina waves at me and Will stands next to her. They're holding hands. I wave back, but keep my eyes on Tobias. He's still talking to Zeke. It's to late to talk to him now. I walk over to Christina, Will and the others. We line up, myself in the front. The three people standing last in the line I don't recognize. After me it's Uriah, then Lynn, Marlene, Peter, Will and Christina.

"Everybody listen up," Eric yells. His sharp voice fills the dining hall and the crowd goes silent. "It's time for our new members to choose their new profession. First up, Tris."

People start to applaud and cheer as I walk up on the stage where Eric and Max are standing. I feel my heart beating inside my chest and it's all I can focus on. Then my eyes meet Tobias'. He smiles. I try to smile back, but it's hard to feel like smiling right now.

"You ready Tris?" Eric asks me when I reach him. I don't answer.

I look out over the crowd. They're all quiet now. My heart beats even faster. This is it. I take a deep breath as my lips form the words; "I choose…"

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Tobias**

Eric calls out Tris's name. She walks up on stage, and we make eye contact. She looks really nervous, almost scared, I try to calm her down. She tries to smile, but it's too hard for her. It's selfish of me to want her to choose instructor for the initiates. I didn't tell her what I wanted, and I'm glad I didn't. She needs to make this decision all by herself. She walks over to Eric and he whispers something in her ear. She faces the audience and says…

**Tris**

"…Instructor for the new initiates." I say, pressing my palms to my thighs to stop people from seeing that they're shaking. At first the room is silent, then a massive cheer fills the room and I feel the weight on my shoulders disappear. Eric takes my arm and leads me to the back off the stage. I search for Tobias, but the applauding dauntless crowd makes it hard to see any ones face. Now it's Uriah's turn.

"I choose Instructor for the dauntless born," he says with no hesitation.

I'm the first one to applaud. He turns toward me and smiles. I give him a hug. I knew it. He couldn't choose a better one. Then it's Lynn's turn.

"Tattoo artist," she says. She will be working with Tori.

After Lynn it's Marlene. She chooses to work in the patrol leadership track. I don't really know what that is. I just now realize that no one has chosen dauntless leader with Eric yet. This must be some sort of a record in Dauntless history. The first ranked initiate has always chosen Dauntless leader, except for Tobias. Marlene stands next to Uriah and I look at the line again. Peter is next. Great. Who would want to boss everyone around more than him? But when he walks up on stage he doesn't say anything. Instead he directly stands next to Lynn.

Uriah touches my arm. "Eric probably already asked him to be leader. They do that sometimes." I roll my eyes, of course. They did that with Tobias.

"Looking forward to screwing you around Stiff," Peter says.

"Don't talk to her like that," Lynn says.

Then Will walk up on stage. I haven't even thought about what he will choose. "Control room," he calls out over the crowd.

Erudite, is the first thing that comes to my mind. Of course he choose to work in the control room. I give him a thumb up and he smiles back. Finally it's Christina's turn. She looks nervous. She sees me and I wink. I know what she'll choose. I can't believe that position is actually still available.

"I choose to be an instructor for the dauntless born," she says with a big smile on her face. Everyone cheers for her and I give her a big hug.

I'm so glad she got what she wished for. The last three members, that I don't know the names of, choose nursery, tattoo artist and ambassador. Uriah and Christina will boss around the dauntless born next year, Tobias and me the transfers. Will will also work with Tobias in the control room. Lynn at the tattoo parlor and Marlene in the patrol leadership. We all got what we wanted and I couldn't be happier.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Tobias**

She choose instructor. She actually did. The crowd starts to fade out and it's just Tris, Will, Christina, Lynn, Marlene, Uriah, Zeke, Shauna and me left. Shauna is up on the stage congratulating Lynn.

"So you're becoming a tattoo artist lil sis," she says while hugging her.

Will and Christina are kissing. Tris is talking to Uriah and Marlene. She looks so happy. She is where she belongs now. Zeke pats me on the back.

"Looks like you two will be spending some time together huh?" He smiles. "I'm gonna go congratulate Uriah." He walks up on stage and hugs his brother. Behind them, Tris catches my eyes and her face is full of joy. She starts walking toward me, but stops after a few steps. I can't congratulate her here in front of everyone. I point at the kitchen door. She nods and turns to Uriah and Marlene again. I walk into the kitchen and wait for her there. After a few minutes she walks though the doors. I embrace her in my arms and she laughs against my shoulder. I pick her up and I her put her down on the counter.

"When did you make up your mind?" I ask, leaving just a few inches between us.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't really know until I saw you from the stage. I knew I wanted to be an instructor and give the new initiates the same strength you gave me every day. Have I told you how much that meant to me?"

"No, you haven't," I say.

"Well it does."

I pull her closer again and I kiss her, first her lips, then her cheek and then her neck. I bury my hands in her hair, continuing to kiss her, wanting to close the gap between us entirely. I keep one hand on the side of her head and slowly slide the other one on her thigh. I feel her hand on my chest and she pushes me away. "Please," she breathes. "We've got to stop."

I frown. "Why?"

"It's too weird."

"Weird?"

"Well yeah. I mean, initiation is over, and it's different now."

"Different how?"

"You're not my instructor anymore. Now you're just… and it's… scary."

I laugh a little and brush her cheek with my thumb. "I know it's scary, but we'll get through it. We don't have to rush this."

She smiles. "We should leave. The cooks will probably be here soon."

"Yeah. Hold on," I say.

"What are you doing?"

"Just looking to see if someone's still out there."

"Is there?"

"No, coast is clear."

**Tris**

He takes my hand and we walk out of the dining hall. On our way to Tobias apartment me bump into Christina and Will. "Hi!" Christina calls out the second she sees us. Tobias lets go of my hand. "I saw you guys sneaking off earlier. If you're gonna keep this a secret you need to be better at hiding."

"We will tell everyone, just not yet," I say, not really sure if I mean that. "Congratulations by the way, both of you. Are you happy with your decisions?"

"Yeah, I am, "Will says. "You'll have to teach me how the control room works Four. You still work there right?"

"Yes I do. Looking forward to it."

I really appreciate Tobias trying with my friends. He knows it's important to me. Everything just changed so quickly and being a dauntless member is different from being an initiate

"I can't believe that the position I wanted was still available when it was my turn," Christina says happily.

"Yeah, that's really great Christina. I'm happy for you," I say taking her hand in mine.

"So anyway," she says. "We were just heading to the dining hall again. They will open the kitchen again in like 5 minutes. Wanna join?"

I look at Tobias. Thank god we left when we did. "No thanks, we're just gonna go and get some rest. Have fun though."

"Alrighty then! See yah." She takes Will's hand and they disappear around the corner.

We continue walking to Tobias apartment. When we're inside he shuts the door and turns to me. "Can I get you anything? Water?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay. I'll be right back." He disappears into the kitchen.

I think about what happened in the dining hall kitchen. Tobias makes me happier than I ever thought was possible, but yet I feel… I don't know. It's like; I can't get over my fear of intimacy. I thought it would go away when I started seeing him, but I guess I was wrong. It's selfish of me to do this with him, because he deserves the truth.

**Tobias**

I walk into the kitchen and get a glass from the cabinet and fill it with water. I know Tris worries about talking our relationship a bit further, so I have to be careful. The last thing I want is to scare her away. I walk back to the living room. Tris is sitting on the couch and smiles at me and I hand her the water.

"I'm really glad you choose instructor. We'll have a lot of fun jerking around with the initiates."

She laughs a little. "Yeah. But first you'll have to teach me to be one." She smiles again and takes a sip of the water. A strand of hair falls on her face and she puts it behind her ear. She takes another sip of water and I watch her carefully.

"What?" She suddenly says. She must have caught me staring.

"Nothing," I say and try to smile.

She puts the glass of water on the table. "Tobias," she says, her voice a bit shaky.

"Yeah?"

She look me in the eyes, then my nose, my chin, and my lips. She looks sad.

"Tris, are you okay?"

A tear rolls down her cheek and she covers her face with her hands.

"Hey, it's okay. You can talk to me."

She looks up. "I'm sorry," she says. "It's just, I'm scared. I'm scared of this, us. Where this is going. I've never done anything like this before and I'm just not ready to… I don't want to let you down and… I'm sorry." She covers her face again, but I grab her wrists and try to look into her eyes. Her cheeks are wet from the tears.

"Tris, you have nothing to apologize for. I don't expect anything from you. We don't have to rush into anything."

"But it's not fair to you."

"Not fair to me?" I repeat. "Tris, the only thing I care about is you. You being happy, that's all I need."

"But, I feel like, you could have more. Something better." She finally looks into my eyes and they are blank with tears.

"I have you." I kiss her and for a second she kisses me back, but then she pulls away and stands up.

"I should go. I need to be alone for a while." She walks over to the door but I follow her and grab her waist. "No, don't leave like this. We have to talk about this."

"I'm sorry Tobias, but I need to figure this out. I can't be selfish with you. I won't."

She kisses me softly, and when I open my eyes, she's gone.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Tris**

It's been two days since I told Tobias that I needed some time to think. There must be something wrong with me? There's a boy who likes me, maybe even loves me, and I'm too scared to let him. I get out of bed and look in the mirror. I stare at my reflection. My eyes are red and my cheeks are puffy from my tears. I cried myself to sleep last night, again. The new ten members got the weekend off. Tomorrow it's Monday and we'll all start our new jobs. I'm supposed to practice with Tobias, but I haven't talked to him. I've seen him in the dining hall at breakfast but he hasn't said anything. I don't blame him. I'm so screwed up; he probably doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I take quick shower, before I leave for breakfast. When I get there, Christina and Uriah are the only ones sitting at a table. A group of girls are standing by the buffet, grabbing muffins and some chocolate cake. I can hear them laughing about something, but not what. I walk over to Uriah and Christina.

"Hey Tris!" Uriah says when he sees me. "How's it going?"

"Good," I say. He doesn't know about Tobias and me yet, so I can't tell him that I'm actually heartbroken. "I'm gonna go grab something to eat."

I get some food even though I'm not hungry. I sit down next to Christina.

"So, what have you been up to these last few days?" She says, taking a piece of my muffin. "I haven't seen you. I'm sorry I haven't come by your place. I've just been hanging out with Will."

I can't tell her about what happened with Tobias, since Uriah is sitting across from us. "Um… Nothing really. Just settled down in my apartment. Getting some new clothes."

"That's great." She smiles, but her face expression suddenly changes and she looks concerned. "Uriah, would you mind leaving? We need to discuss some private things." Uriah opens his mouth to say something but Christina continues. "Ps. not a good time to insert inappropriate humor."

His grin fades away. "Alright, fine." He stands up and walks out of the dining hall.

"Now tell me," Christina says facing me. "How are you really doing? What's going on with you and Four?"

"Nothing." I look away.

"Tris, I can tell when you're lying." She takes my hands. "Come on, talk to me." I look up and she's smiling a little. I do see some pity in that smile is the first real friend I've ever had and without her, I probably wouldn't have made it through initiations. She makes me stronger, by just being her.

"Well, I haven't talked to him since Thursday. I kind off left him with a question mark. I said I needed some time to think. I just don't know what I need to figure out. I love him but I don't know if I'm…"

"Wait, reverse back! You _love_ him?"

"Yeah, I do. But he needs communication and commitment too and I don't know if I'm the one who can give it to him."

"Do you want my opinion?"

A candor asking if they can tell the truth? Unusual. "Yes."

"Well, honestly, it sounds to me that that's what _you_ have decided. Have you even talked to him about it? Asked him what he thinks and what he wants?

"Well… no. I haven't talked to him in two days."

"Tris, listen. He loves you. It's _unbelievable_ that I know that from the little I've seen. He loves you and he wants you. I'm sorry but it's not up to you to make this decision. You need to talk to him."

I haven't even thought about that myself. "You're right. I should talk to him. Do you know where he might be? I've only seen him at breakfast."

"No I don't."

Just then, a group of dauntless teenagers enters the room, followed by Lynn, Marlene and Will.

"What's he doing with them?" Christina says, looking pissed.

"Christina relax, he's just making new friends. We should too." I wave at them. "Guys! Come sit with us."

"Hi guys. Thanks," Marlene says as they sit directly start a conversation and Marlene tells a story about Will falling over earlier. I stop paying attention when I see Tobias and Zeke walk through the doors. They sit down at another table.

"Hey guys. I need to speak with Four about tomorrow. I'll catch up with you later."

"Bye Tris," Will says and Christina smiles.

I walk over to Zeke and Tobias. They both look surprised to see me. "Hey Zeke. Do you mind if I borrow Four for a few minutes? I need to talk to him about tomorrows practice."

"It's okay Tris. You don't have to lie. I know you two are a thing." He smiles.

"Shut it," Tobias snaps. He takes my arm and we walk out of the dining hall. He leads me into a small room further down the tunnel. It's some kind of a broom closet.

"You told him about us?" I say when he closes the door.

"He saw us when the new members were announced. What's the big deal, Christina and Will knows?"

"Yeah well I don't trust Zeke. He could tell Uriah or Shauna, or even Eric for that matter."

"He would never do that. You don't know him like I do. I'd trust him with my life."

I immediately regret my words. "I'm sorry, you're right."

His body relaxes a bit, but he still seems upset. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

I look into his eyes. They're dark, cold. I decide to take a risk. "Are we okay?"

"Well I don't know Tris. You tell me. You say you need time to think and leave me with nothing. You don't talk to me for days and know you wanna know if we're okay."

I feel the anger building up inside me. "I never wanted _this_ Tobias."

"Then what do you want?" His voice is loud. I haven't seen this side of him before.

"I don't know. And don't yell at me!"

He shakes his head and walks a few steps back. He stands there, looking at me for a few seconds. Then he suddenly takes my face between his hands and kisses me firmly. His grip is strong, solid. When his lips touch mine, I feel a longing, for him. Then he lets me go. "Then figure it out." He opens the door and leaves and I remain still, feeling only the heavy weight on my shoulders.

**Tobias**

I kissed her. I feel like I shouldn't have, but I couldn't resist. I haven't held her for days and it's driving me crazy. Tomorrow I'm going to practice with her but I don't think I can if we're fighting like this. I walk back to the dining hall and slide into my seat again.

"How did that go?" Zeke says, trying to not sound so curious.

"Not good. She still doesn't know where she stands. I'll just have to wait."

"Wait for what man? You need to make a move or she'll never know what to do."

"I just did!"

"You did what?"

"Never mind." I look down at my food. I'm not in the mood to talk to him about it.

"You kissed her," he says after a while, and it's not a question. I just nod.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Tris**

I wake up before the alarm goes off. It's 6.38 am. I'm suppose to meet Tobias in the training room to practice today, but I'm not sure if I should go. Maybe he thinks that I won't and stay home. I decide to eat breakfast in my apartment. I don't feel like seeing anyone right now.I open the refrigerator to see what I have. I find an apple, a leftover sandwich and some dauntless cake. That'll do. I eat slowly. If Tobias is there, I wonder what he'll say to me. Will he even speak to me? Or will he be _Four the instructor_ who I got to meet first. I hope not. I always found him a bit unpleasant.

After breakfast I get dressed. I choose a pair of black work out pants and a black t-shirt. I pull my hair back in a ponytail and put on my boots. I've had the same ones since I came here. I can't believe how long it's been. It feels like I haven't seen my family in ages. I miss them, but it's easier if don't think about home. Faction before blood right? It helps to know that I will see them again. I know I will.I grab my jacket and walk toward the training room at 07.50. Tobias isn't there. I know he's almost never late so I decide to wait a he's not coming. I walk over to the targets and pick up a knife. I throw it and it hits the center of the targets head, exactly where it was supposed to.

"Nice shot," someone says behind me. I turn around. Tobias stands in the doorway.

"Thanks."

He closes the door and walk toward me. "Where do you wanna start?" He says, and grabs a knife from the table. He seems different. Uncomfortable.

I clear my throat. "Well I don't know. You're the teacher. Teach me something."

I see something that looks like a smile on his face. "Okay, we'll start with fighting."

He shows me the basics, which I already know. I'm guessing it's training policy. We stand there for what seems like hours practicing.

"I'm going to go grab us some lunch," he finally says.

"I can come with you."

"No it's fine. You keep working. I'll be right back."

Then he leaves and I'm alone. I practice against the punching bag. He hasn't mentioned us yet, our situation and I wonder if I should. It's up to me to make the next move. I know that. After a few minutes he comes back with two muffins in his hands. He hands me a blueberry one.

"Thanks," I say and take a bite. "What's next?"

"Well, it's time for some real fighting."

I laugh, but immediately stop when I see his face. "Wait. You're serious. Against who?"

"Me." His words shock me.

"I'm not gonna fight you Tobias?" I say laughing nervously.

He raises his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Because I will loose within seconds. I can't beat you," I say frowning.

"We won't really fight. I'll work you through it. It's better than a punching bag."

That is however true. A punching bag is no threat. It doesn't fight back. "Fine," I say eventually. "Let's do it then." I walk over to the arena and Tobias follows.

**Tobias**

She walks into the ring and put up her fists to cover her face. I try to hide my grin. "What?" She says looking confused.

"We're not going to fight Tris. I'm gonna walk you through it, like I said."

"Oh, alright then." Her hands fall to her sides.

I walk into the ring and stand in front of her. "On second thoughts. You walk it through me."

"I can't do that. I don't know how."

"Just tell me what you would do first."

She stares at me for a while. She bites her lip, like she's trying to figure out her first move. "Well, I would punch you in the jaw. Then I'd hit you in the gut and then kick you to the ground."

"Okay, do it."

She doesn't seem surprised anymore. She must know I won't let her hit me. She swings her fist at my face, but I grab it instead and twist her arm so she falls to the ground. I put my arm over her chest to keep her down.

"I thought you said you'd _walk_ me through it."

"That was showing you that if you miss the jaw you need to have a plan B. Which you clearly didn't have."

"Well, you caught me off guard. Let's do it again."

I stand up and offer her my hand. She doesn't take it. When we're both standing, she swings her fist again I allow her to hit me. She kicks my knee, which makes me loose balance, and then she punches my gut so I fall on my back hitting the ground. She sits on top of me with one leg on each side of my body and holds my arms to the floor. She grins. "I always have a plan B."

"Oh yeah?" I bring up my knees to strike her back. She falls forward, letting go of my wrists, and I roll on top of her instead. I capture her arms with my hands. Now I'm in control. I'm stronger than she is so when she tries to fight back, she fails.

I smirk at her. "How's that plan B working out for you?"

"Okay fine. You win."

"Indeed."

I won, but I don't let go of her. Her smile fades. She knows what I'm thinking. I don't want to let her go.

"Tobias…" she says, her voice so low I can only hear her since we're so close. I know what she's thinking too. She wants the same thing, but she's scared. I can see that in her eyes. She's asking for help and I want to help her, but I can't. I want her and she wants me, and I won't deny what. I lean in to kiss her, but she looks away.

"Tris…" I gently wrap my fingers around her chin. "It's okay." I look into her eyes. She needs to know that there is nothing to be afraid of and that it's okay to want this. I gently press my lips against hers, and to my surprise, she kisses me back. I pull back a little, but she grabs my neck and kisses me again. Firmly.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Tris**

He doesn't let me go. "Tobias…" I say, to stop him from what he's about to do. He leans in to kiss me, but I look away. It's not fair to him. He gently wraps his fingers around my chin and turns my head so that he is looking into my eyes. "Tris. It's okay." I want to believe him. I want to believe that it is okay to love him. Then, I think of what Christina said, that it's not up to me to make this decision. Maybe she's right. I know Tobias wants me just as much as I want him. He leans in to kiss me again. _Stop_, I tell myself, but I can't. This time I kiss him back. He seems surprised and he pulls back, but I don't want him to. I grab his neck and pull him down again. This time, I kiss him more firmly. His grip around my wrists loosens and I roll on top of him instead. His hand slips under the hem of my shirt, touching my bare skin. It's cold, but his lips are warm and that's all I can focus on. My head buzzes with nervousness, even though I've kissed him so many times before. A faint sigh escapes me, and heat rushes through my cheeks. I press my palm against the floor to stop them from shaking. Kissing him again makes me realize how dependent I actually am of him. Every day, every minute, every second I missed him. Not being able to be near him has slowly been killing me, and I can't stay away anymore. He sighs next to my ear, and it brings me back to reality. I realize that we're still in the training room.

"Tobias, we have to go," I say. He nods slowly. We stand up and I grab his hand, dragging him with me toward his apartment.

He fumbles with the keys but manages to unlock the door. I haven't been here since our fight, if I can call it that. I just left him with nothing but pointless words. Thinking about it now, it must have not made any sense at all. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I fit my mouth to his, not knowing where this is going. Our kisses grow more desperate. He pulls of my jacket and I can feel his heavy breathing against my neck. All I can think about is that I _want_ him, more than ever. I pull him with me to his bedroom. "I missed you so much," he says, before kissing me again. I pull his collar and drag him with me onto the bed. He lands on top of me. He kisses my neck and I smile against his shoulder. I roll on top of him. I pull his shirt over his head and toss it on the floor. I let my hands caress his body that I exposed. Every connection, every touch, makes me want him even more.

**Tobias**

She drags me with her onto the bed. I fall on top of her. I kiss her neck, and she smiles against my shoulder. She's happy, and that's all that matters. She rolls on top of me and pulls my shirt up and tosses it aside. She sits up and grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head. Even though she's not fully exposed, she still looks embarrassed. I reach out and touch her stomach with my fingertips.

"Beautiful." I say, and I mean it.

She seems to believe me, because she smiles a little and kisses me again. I remember the first time I kissed her, by the chasm. I was so nervous, trying to convince myself that she felt the same way about me as I did about her. And in that moment, when she showed me I could trust her, I knew. Ever since, a day hasn't gone by without me thinking of her.

"Tobias?" She says waking me up from my reminiscence.

"Mm?"

"I love you." This is the first time she's ever said it. I've known for a long time that I loved her. I don't know why I haven't told her. I thought I had time. I guess now, when I know what it feels like to almost lose her I have no reason to not say it.

"I love you too."

She looks into my eyes and then at my naked chest and stomach. She smiles again, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She's not ready yet.

"It's okay Tris. We can wait." I pull her down by my side and wrap her in my arms.

"Thank you," she says.

"For what?"

"For being you. I never want us to be apart again."

"Well I'm not going anywhere."

I pull her closer and we fall asleep, her head against my chest and my arms around her body. We fit.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Tobias**

Tris. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up. I look at the clock and it says 4 pm. We must have slept for hours. I look over to my side, but she isn't there. I sit up. "Hey there." She's standing in the bathroom doorway. She's got my black oversize t-shirt on that comes down just over thigh, showing off her bare legs. She must notice me staring because she tries to pull it down further, looking embarrassed.

"Hey beautiful," I say to convince her that she is.

"You don't have to pretend. I know I'm not." She walks over to the bed and sits down on the bedside.

"Hey," I say as softly as I can. "You are."

"Thank you," she says. "For that, but also for…" She pauses and smiles.

I wrap her in my arms and pull her down by my side. She laughs, and it's the most beautiful sound.

**Tris**

I lay in his arms for a while, taking deep breaths of his skin. Ever since he saved me from the attack, I have associated his scent with safety. I feel safe now.

"You think we should tell everyone about us?" I say.

"I don't know. What do you think?

"I think we should. It's been a few days since we became members now, and sooner or later they _will _find out. We won't be able to sneak around for much longer. And besides, I couldn't stay away from you for another day."

He laughs a little. "Well, then we'll tell them. Tomorrow, at breakfast."

"Okay, but how? What _do_ we tell them?"

"We'll just have to improvise. We can't predict how they will react."

"I guess." I push him away and get out of bed.

"Hey, where you going?" He looks disappointed.

"We can't stay in bed the rest of the day. It's dinner in 20 minutes."

"You know everyone will be there. We can't eat together."

"I know, but it will be the last time. Then, when everyone knows, we can do whatever we want in public." He raises his eyebrows. "Well, not _whatever_ we want. Almost." I grin. "Anyway, I'm gonna go and eat dinner. Coming?"

He doesn't answer. Instead he pulls the bedspread over his head.

"Alright fine. I will see you later then."

I put on some clothes and leave his apartment. It doesn't take very long until he's walking next to me.

"Couldn't stay away?" I say, bumping my elbow into his shoulder.

"Oh shut up."

**Tobias**

We walk to the dining hall together and she goes in first. I look around. I've walked these tunnels countless times. I remember trying to find my place here when I was an initiate two years ago. I didn't even feel dauntless when I became a member. I was first ranked, I got the jobs I wanted, I had friends, but I still didn't feel like I fully belonged. Not until _she _ feelings I developed for her, I had never experienced before. She made me realize that being dauntless isn't just about fighting and being fearless. Loving her is dauntless. Wanting her is dauntless. She made me dauntless, and I will never be able to thank her enough.

"Four?" I turn around.

"Why are you standing out here?" he says frowning. What do I answer?

"Zeke. Hey. Who's it going?"

"I'm getting dinner. Why are you out here?"

"Um…" I look away. He's not giving up. I sigh. "Well, if you must know. Me and Tris can't walk in together so I have to wait a while."

He starts laughing. "Really? So you guys made up?"

"Yeah, we did."

"When? And how? Did she just apologize?"

"She had nothing to apologize for."

"Oh? Thought you said it was her fault you guys broke up?"

"I know I did, but I was angry and I didn't mean it. She just needed some time to think."

"What ever you say. So, how did you guys work it out?

He will read it from my face. I'm a terrible liar and he can always tell when I'm keeping something from him. If I tell a lie, he will know. I might as well share what happened. It isn't that big of a deal, just something I wouldn't normally share with anyone.

"Well we were practicing. I mean, I was teaching her and, um…" I clear my throat. "We, um…"

"Wait! You guys _did_ it?"

"Shhh! Would you keep it down? People will hear you!"

"Did you?"

"No! Of course not. Look, she's not ready yet. We just… made up. I'm not giving you details."

"Alright then. Fine by me. So you guys are back on track?" A classic dauntless slang.

"Yeah, we are."

"Wow, so…" He pauses when the dining hall doors opens. Christina and Tris walks out and stop when they see us. Tris and I look at each other.

"Hey Four! What's up?" Christina says sarcastically.

"Nothing much." They must already be done with dinner. I just got so caught up in my thoughts, and then Zeke, that I forgot to go in. I then realize that both Christina and Zeke know about Tris and me, and she knows they do. I decide to do something bold. I lean in and kiss Tris on the lips. It's a quick one, considering there's an audience. When I pull back she looks surprised, as do Zeke and Christina. No one says anything.

"See you later?" I say to break the silence.

"Yeah, come by my place when you're done with dinner okay?"

"Okay." She kisses my cheek and then she takes Christina's hand. "C'mon Chris."

"But?" Christina tries to protest, but Tris drags her away.

Zeke is still staring at me. I laugh and go inside, and he follows.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Tris**

We go to my apartment. Christina tries to ask me about Tobias, but I just keep walking. "Details please," she says when I've closed the door.

We sit down on the couch and I start. "Well, as you may have seen, we made up. Yesterday, after practice, or during…" I pause.  
"And? How? Did you just say that you were sorry and that you wanted him back?"

"Um, not exactly. We were, um…" I pause. How do I describe it? It was so intense.

"Hello?" She says impatiently.

"Alright, but don't say it was to much information when I'm done."

"How bad can it be?" She rolls her eyes. "One of your fears is _intimacy_."

"Well, as I said, we were practicing and he beat me by tackling me to the floor. And when I admitted that he'd won he kissed me, and I kissed him back…" Christina's jaw drops. "Then we went to his apartment and… fell asleep."

"Hold up." She puts up a hand to protest. "_You fell asleep_?" She looks surprised, and kind off disappointed.

"Well, I won't give you details. Just, figure the rest out yourself?"

"So you guys… had… you did it?" Her words surprise me.

"What? No! You know I'm not ready."

"I'm sorry, but you said to figure out the rest myself."

"Well, no, we didn't."

She smiles. "I'm happy for you Tris. You really deserve the best."

"Thank you. I'm really happy, but enough about me though. How are you and Will?"

She lights up when I say his name. "We're great. _We_ however have done it."

"Okay! I don't need to hear about that." I cover my ears with my hand to show that she should keep that information to herself.

She giggles a little. "You asked." We burst into laughter together. It feels great to laugh again. Being without Tobias I haven't really felt like laughing at all. Then the door opens and he walks in.

"Hi," he says with a languid smile on his face.

"Speak of the devil." Christina gets up. "I'm gonna go now. Bye Tris. Bye Four." She walks past him and pats him on the chest. "Have fun!" She says and closes the door behind her.

"She's something huh?" He says, laughing a little, while taking of his jacket.

I get up and walk over to him. "So…" He starts but I put my finger on his lips to hush him. "Tris…" He tries again, but I interrupt him.

"I wanna talk to you."

He frowns a little. "Okay?"

We sit down on the couch. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for what I did. You didn't deserve that. I want you to know that I won't ever do that again." I take his hand in mine. "And that brings me to my question. Can we decide to always be honest with each other?"

He smiles. "Yes. Of course." I smile and lay down my head on his chest, resting. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. I can feel his heart beating steady against my cheek. It takes me back to that one time we went into his fear landscape together, and when I helped him in the shrinking box by letting him feel my heart beat. I remember being so nervous. Now, I know who I am with him, and I know who he his with me. It feels like ages ago we sat in that small space, with walls pressing us closer to each other for every minute that passed. Now, that is all that I want.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep; because when I open my eyes I'm laying in my bed. Tobias is standing by the window, staring into the dark night. I get up and walk over to him.

"Hey. What time is it?"

He puts his arm around my shoulders. "It's almost eleven. I should go. I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah."

He kisses my forehead softly and then walks toward the door. I don't want him to leave. Not after our break up. "Wait," I say when he opens the door. He stops and turns to me. "Would you stay with me? I don't want to sleep alone."

He closes the door again. "Always."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Tris**

I wake up by someone kissing my nose. I slowly open my eyes, but close them again when the light make them sting.

"Morning," I hear a voice say. Tobias. "Ready for today?"

"Mm." I pull the bead spread over my head. Then I realize what he said and sit up. "Wait, what happens today?"

Tobias is standing on the side of the bed with a coffee cup in his hand. His hair is messy and the only clothing he wearing is a pair of pants. He's not the brawny type, like some of the other guys I've seen in Dauntless. When I think about it, without all of his muscles, he would almost go as scrawny. I stare at him, without realizing it.

He notices. "Tris?" He puts down the cup on the nightstand.

"Huh? What? Oh, sorry." I put my hand on my forehead. "Today, right. What happens today?"

"We're telling everyone about us."

"Oh right. Um, about that…"

"No, you can't back down now. We _have_ to tell them. We can't sneak around like this anymore."

"Fine…" I stand on my knees and wrap my arms around his waist. "It's just, I like having you all to myself."

"And it will still be that way." He removes a stand of hair from my face and smiles. "C'mon, get dressed. Breakfast in ten minutes." He kisses my quickly, and then disappears into the bathroom.

I get up to put some clothes on. I choose a fitted black dress with sleeves, and my black boots. I put my hair in a ponytail and try the mascara Christina bought me. Not too much though, make up isn't really my thing. Tobias comes out of the bathroom and when I walk over to him, he stares at me. "What? What is it?" I say, brushing off the dress as if it was dirty.

"Nothing. You just look very nice."

I put my hands on his chest and kiss him lightly. "Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

He smiles. "Ready to go?"

I take his hand. "Yes, lets go."

**Tobias**

We walk together to the dining hall, and this time we walk in together, still holding hands. Luckily it's only our friends there. Christina, Will, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn and Shauna are sitting at a table, talking loudly. Everyone else must have left.

"Hi," Tris says and we stand in front of the table. Everybody stare at our hands, except Christina. She just grins.

"Okay, so. We have something to tell you guys," I say to break the silence. "Tris and I…" I clear my throat. "We have…um" This was harder than I thought. I squeeze Tris's hand and she takes over.

"Four and I have been seeing each other for a while now, but we've been keeping it a secret because of Eric and initiation and the fact that Four was our instructor. But now all that is over, so we're going public, at least for you guys. We would appreciate it if you didn't tell Eric or Max, or anyone else for that matter. They'll just have to figure it out them selves. Plus, I don't really think they would care."

Everyone is still quiet, until Uriah speaks up. "So, that's why you we're ranked first?" I'm not surprised that_ he_ asked that.

Christina kicks him under the table. "No you idiot! She was ranked first because the was the best!" I appreciate her standing up for Tris.

"Well, congratulations!" Shauna says, making less awkward.

I give her a thankful smile. "Thank you Shauna."

"We're gonna grab some breakfast," Tris says and drags me with her.

"That went okay right?" she says and takes a muffin from the buffet.

"Yeah, I think it did."

I look over my shoulder and I can see them all bending over the table and whispering.

"Shhh!" Christina hushes everybody when Tris and I walk over to the table again. I sit down next to Zeke, and Tris sits down next to Will.

"So, how did you guys get together?" Uriah asks.

"Uriah, save the questions till later," Christina says.

"What happens later?" Tris asks, but I might just guess.

"Well, I can announce it now I guess." Uriah stands up. "You guys here at the table are invited to my party tonight at 7. We're playing Truth or Dare." Exactly what I thought. "However, in Dauntless we just call it Dare. No one ever chooses truth."

"What is that?" Tris asks. We all start to laugh. "What? How would I know that?"

"It's okay Tris," I say and reach for her hand.

"It's a classic game in dauntless," Zeke says. He always loves to explain it. "We each take turns and ask each other truth or dare. If you pick truth the person who asks get to ask a question that you must answer. If you refuse, you have to take of a piece of clothing and drink two shots. If you pick dare, you have to do something. For example kiss a stranger. If you refuse, same rules apply."

"Sound fun," Tris answers but I can see she looks a bit worried. She doesn't drink, and taking her clothes off, well, no one really enjoys that.

"It is," Zeke answers with a grin.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Tris**

I knock on Christina's door and it doesn't take very long until someone answers. I don't recognize him.

"Tris! Four! You guys made it!" Christina appears behind the guy. "Get in her!"

I take Tobias hand and we walk in to her apartment. The air is really thick and there are people everywhere, dancing and laughing. "I thought this was going to be a small gathering?" I shout to overpower the loud music.

"Well, news travels fast. I'm gonna kick them all out when it's time for truth or dare, but first, let's party!" She grabs my hand and drags me away from Tobias. I try to break free but Christina's grip is too tight. I look over my shoulder at Tobias, but he's already talking to Shauna and Zeke.

"Here!" Christina hands me a cup with some kind of dark orange beverage.

"What is this?" I ask frowning.

"It's beer."

"I don't drink, but thanks. I'll just get something that's alcohol free."

"Uh, fine." She rolls her eyes.

I walk over to the kitchen counter. It's really hot in here. I fill a red plastic cup with ice-cold water and drink every single drop. Better. I stand there for a while, looking at all the people dancing with drinks in their hands. Will I ever be able to loosen up like them? I flinch when I suddenly feel two strong hands on my hips. Tobias. He turns me around so that we're face to face. "Having fun? He says smiling.

I give him a sarcastic smile. "Yeah. Totally."

He laughs a little and kisses my lips. It's weird to kiss him in public. I've never done that before. I put my arms around his waist and pull myself closer. Then, someone interrupts us. "Hey you two lovebirds." Zeke is standing next to us, with a smile on his face. "Time for truth and dare." He raises his voice. "Everybody, party's over. Time to go."

The crowd starts to fade out and soon it's only my closest friends left. We spread out in the couches and the matching armchairs. Tobias and I fit in one and we sit down.

"You all know the rules." Christina says when everyone is seated. "I'll go first."

She looks around the room and her eyes stop when she reaches me.

"Tris. Truth or dare?" I don't know which option is better. I decide to start off safe.

"Truth."

Christina doesn't seem to mind, but some of the others call out _pansy-cake_. Tobias explains that that is what you're called if you choose truth. "Great." Christina ties her hands in her lap. "Let's just get right into it. How did you and Four get together?"

I look at Tobias. He nods, as if he's giving me permission to tell everyone in this room. "Um, well. You all know that he was my instructor. And one day, he let me see his fear landscape, and after that we went down to the chasm and we, um… started this thing."

Everyone is listening carefully and they all look intrigued. Uriah is the one to break off the silence. "So you know all of his fears?"

"Yes, I do."

"What are they?" Now they look really intrigued.

"You'll have to ask him that." I say knowing Tobias would never tell a soul. Uriah doesn't seem to get that though, because a vicious smile creeps up on his face.

"Okay," I say. "Zeke, truth or dare?"

"Duh, dare. What else?" Apparently not so dauntless to choose truth. Zeke is probably the most dauntless one of us. I have the prefect dare for him.

"You have to say, _I love you_, to the first person you see. I'm coming with to ensure you do it."

"Fine." We walk outside and just after a few seconds we spot Peter further down the tunnel heading our way.

"Your target." I whisper to Zeke.

"Peter!" He yells.

"What do you want?" I didn't think that Peter would answer, but the death stare he's making is probably worse.

"I just wanted to say that I love you." I burst out laughing. I think this is the first time I've seen Peter shocked and stunned at the same time.

"What the hell?"

"It was a dare." He taps Peters arm. "Sorry man."

"Fine. I'll play."

"Sorry." Zeke takes my hand to prevent me from saying anything. "Invitation only."

"Whatever, I don't want to go to you stupid gathering anyway."

Now I can't hold it in. "Then why'd you ask?"

Before Peter gets the chance to answer, Zeke drags me away and we walk back to Christina's apartment.

"That was fun. Nice work!" I say when we sit down again.

"Who was the lucky one?" Shauna says.

"Peter." Zeke says and starts laughing. Soon, we all do.

This was actually a fun game.

"Okay, let's see." Zeke starts. "Marlene. Truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to take five shots under 40 seconds. If you fail, shirt off!"

"Easy!" She cracks her knuckles and neck, as if she was getting ready for a fight.

It was easy for her. It only took about 30 seconds to drink them. Zeke looks disappointed.

"Four. Truth or dare?"

I look at Tobias. His answer comes quickly. "Dare."

"I dare you to tell us one of your fears." Probably what Uriah, and everyone else, would ask.

"That's a truth." Tobias objects.

"No, I _dare_ you to tell us."

"Well sorry guys." He takes off his shoe and throws it behind the couch. Marlene looks dissatisfied. I can't believe they think that he would actually tell them. It's his whole life. Everything about him is in his fear landscape. He's such a private person too. It's a miracle that he even showed me.

"Will. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Will says with no hesitation.

"I dare you to go to the tattoo parlor and ask Tori for _Four's signature_"

"What is it?" Will doesn't look so pleased.

"Can't tell you that. You'll have to see." Shauna and Zeke start laughing. They know what it is.

My jaw drops, and so does everybody else's, when Will stands up.

"Fine. I'll be back in… Wait, how long does it take?"

"Maximum 10 minutes."

"Okay. Back in 10." Then he leaves.

We sit patiently, waiting for him. I ask Tobias what _Four's signature _is, but he doesn't tell me. I'm guessing it's something small; cause Tobias is not that cruel.

After 13 minutes Will is back.

"Let us see!" Christina yells from excitement.

Will doesn't look very happy. I feel bad for him, but I can't keep myself from laughing when he pulls his right sleeve up. On his shoulder there are seven thick black capital letters, forming the words: "I'm a rock." We all burst out laughing and Will looks like he's about to cry.

"Oh my god Four!" Christina yells, but she's not laughing. She just looks angry.

Now Tobias, Zeke and Shauna are the only ones till laughing.

"It's…" Zeke starts but stops because he's laughing too hard.

"It's fake Will. It will go away within the next few days." Tobias says. I knew he couldn't be that cruel.

"Oh thank god." Will takes a deep breath sits down next to Christina.

"Four always dare someone to do that, and Tori always play along, every year," Shauna says looking at Will with some sympathy in her eyes.

"Really?" He says, sarcastically. "Christina. Truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"You have to kiss the bravest person in this room," he says with a smirk.

She smiles and leans in to kiss him, but push him away and press her lips against _mine_.

I'm too shocked to move and Christina just bursts out laughing. Will looks stunned.

Uriah starts to applaud and cheer for us to do it again.

"I… did not expect that," I say laughing.

"Yeah me neither…" Will says looking jealous, but soon he's laughing too.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Tobias**

I never pick truth, because I know what everyone will ask me. They can though, like Marlene, _dare_ me to tell them something.

"Lynn!" Christina says loudly.

"Dare me."

"Okay. Prove that you're into girls or not? I didn't expect her to say that. I don't think anyone did. It's not what I would call a fair dare, but if you're playing you're playing. Lynn just stares at her, and we're all quiet. After a while she stands up and storms out.

We all look at Christina. "What? C'mon, you know you all want to know."

"Yeah but there's no need to ambush her like that," Uriah says.

"Okay, fine. I'll apologize later." I can see she regrets her words a little. "Well, anyway. I started so someone else can ask. Who hasn't?"

Shauna raises her hand. "I haven't." She looks around. "Uriah, you're next."

"Dare!"

"You have to find a girl, and ask her out."

"Easy, every girl wants some of this," he says, gesturing his hand along his body. They walk out of the apartment and everyone else starts talking.

Tris takes my hand. "So you use that dare every year huh?"

"Every time it's someone new, yeah." I grin. "Could have been you."

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't you dare me then?"

I laugh a little. "Cause I would feel too sorry for you."

She lets go of my hand. "I could handle it."

"Oh you think so?"

"Yes. I'm tougher than I look, you know."

"I know." I lean in to kiss her but pause when Uriah and Shauna walk through the door.

"That didn't take very long," Marlene says when Uriah sits down next to her.

"Well it wasn't so hard."

Shauna rolls her eyes. "The first girl he went up to happen to be Alice Harper. She never says no to a guy, and never care if they're in a relationship. She just goes for it."

"So she's gonna go out with you?" Christina says laughing.

"No. I'm taken," he says and kisses Marlene on the cheek.

"Yes you are," she says and smiles at him.

"Okay, my turn to ask," Uriah says. He doesn't bother to look around, he asks me right away. "Four! Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to drink 20 shots. We all want to see you drunk."

"Fine," I say. 20 shots won't make me drunk so I'll play along.

I do the shots, and my head is buzzing a little but I ignore at.

"Okay, Zeke. Truth or dare?" I say.

"Dare. What else?" He smiles proudly.

"Alright. Let's spice things up. You have to steal peace serum from the lab, and drink 5 shots of it, here."

His smile immediately disappears. If you're dauntless, the peace serum is probably the worst one of them all. Every person in this room would take off all of their clothes to avoid doing it, but not Zeke. He _never _refuses a dare. That's why he's probably the best target. No one is saying anything. We're all just waiting for Zeke to accept or decline the dare. "Fine. I'll do it." He gets up and leaves the apartment. I know he will get back at me for this. He couldn't have gotten a worse dare. After about 15 minutes he's back, holding the serum in his hand.

"It was hard to get in there, but here it is. After this, we're done and I can go home."

I start to laugh. "Sure."

He pours the serum into five glasses and drinks them all quickly. At first he just frowns like he has a massive headache. Then he relaxes, and a smile spreads across his face. He gets up and starts hugging everyone.

"We should all appreciate life more, yah know," he says and sits down in Shauna's lap. She tries to push him away but he holds on tight. "You have a really pretty nose," he says and gives her an eskimo kiss. She pulls back and starts laughing. "This isn't normal."

Shauna is right. Zeke is the last person to be sweet. We all start laughing.

"I could listen to you guys laughing all day long," Zeke says and starts applauding. Then, he gets up and stumbles toward the door.

"Where you going?" I say.

"To find Shauna," he says while trying to find the doorknob.

Shauna laughs and gets up to help him. "C'mon. Let's get you home." Then they disappear around the corner.

"Guess we'll see them tomorrow," Will says and takes a sip of his drink.

"And us too," Tris says and stands. "Time to go." She looks down at me.

"Alright." I get up.

"Bye guys," she says and we leave.

* * *

She lies under me. "I'm scared," she says, looking into my eyes. I pull away a little. "What if we ruin it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The feeling I get when you kiss me. The way my heart aches when I smell your skin. I don't want it to go away."

"It won't. I won't let it." I stroke her cheekbone with my thumb. "I will always love you, you know. Nothing will ever change that."

I lean in and kiss her softly. A kiss she will feel in her entire body. I want her to feel safe, that she's safe with me.

"I love you too," she whispers against my lips.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Tris**

"Good morning," I say.

"Hey. How'd you sleep?"

"Great. You?"

"Not great. You snore."

"What? I do not." I bat his hand away and sit up, but he pulls me back down.

"Hey, where are you going?" He kisses my shoulder.

"Away from you."

He turns me around so that we're face to face. "Okay, I'll stop," he says grinning and leans in to kiss me, but I look away. "Fine." He gets up. He's only wearing his shorts. Once my eyes has adapted to the light, I can see his muscular figure. He is stronger than anyone I know, and not physically. He notices me staring. "Tris, we're gonna be late. It's Wednesday. We have practice today, Monday, today and Friday. We have to eat breakfast too."

"Fine!" I get up and walk over to the closet. I choose a pair of black skinny jeans and a black tank top that shows of my tattoos. I change behind the dressing screen.

"Done!" I step out so that he can see me.

"You look good Tris."

I smile, remembering that that was what he said to me the night I caught him drinking by the chasm. "Wait, you remember that?"

"Of course. I wasn't _that_ drunk."

* * *

When we sit down at the breakfast table, Zeke snorts at Tobias. I'd totally forgotten about the dare he got last night.

"Hey Zeke. Nice to see you're your normal self again," Tobias says and takes a bite of his toast.

"I'll get back at you, you know."

Tobias just laughs.

"So I've been thinking," Lynn says, "and I think we should play capture the flag. Boys against the girls."

"Sure, that'll be fun. But you girls can't beat us you know. We'll easily win," Uriah says.

"Oh is that right?" Marlene says and bumps her elbow into his side. He frowns.

"Yes. When will be do it?"

"Tonight. At 7," Zeke says and puts his arm around Shauna. "But not boys against the girls." Lynn rolls her eyes, but doesn't protest.

I think about the last time I played capture the flag. It was with all of the other initiates, and my team won. I remember Tobias and I climbing the Ferris wheel that night. He kept distracting me, and at first I didn't even understand why. The feelings I had about him were completely new to me. I smile to myself and take his hand under the table. He kisses my temple, and then continues to eat.

"Gosh, I'm never gonna get used to you guys kissing and stuff. Gross," Christina says and sticks out her tongue.

Tobias smirks and kisses me on the lips. Just when Christina is about to say something snarky again, a loud shriek fills the room and drowns the chattering. I see a tall girl and an even taller boy on the other side of the room. They're fighting, but I can't tell what it's about. All of the sudden, she slaps him hard and then storms out of the dining hall. Everyone remain silent until the boy slides down into his seat again. Then the chattering continues.

"That was Alice Harper. She loves to cause scenes," Shauna says. She nods toward the boy. "His name's Jake. Jake Adams. Guess he just survived the Alice Harper tornado."

Everyone laughs, but not me. I keep my eyes on Jake. He looks sad.

"Do you know him?" I ask Tobias.

"No, I don´t. Seen him a few times, but the dauntless compound is bigger than you would think."

I nod, and look at Jake again. He's getting ready to leave with some other guy. I don't recognize him either. They leave their trays and walk out of the dining hall.

For some weird reason, I want to know more. Who he is and what he and Alice were arguing about. I'm almost surprised by my curiosity. I don't even know him, and I don't know that Alice girl either. I decide that it's a stupid thought and I let it go.

Everyone at our table starts to leave as well and it wakes me up from my thoughts.

Tobias strokes my back. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

We leave our trays and head for the training room.

**Tobias**

When we get there, Max is standing in the middle of the room with his back toward us. I let go of Tris's hand quickly and put mine in my pocket. He turns around and I immediately recognize his face expression, concern and disappointment at the same time. "You're here, good." He gives me a judgmental look. My body tightens. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Tris says before I get a chance to answer. I give her a look, but she just shrugs.

"It has come to my attention that you two are in a relationship." Oh, he meant he wanted to talk to the both of us. Tris straightens her body. None of us says anything. "Well, is it true?"

"Sir, I'm aware of how this may look but we didn't say anything because it wasn't relevant. We won't let it affect us working together."

"But you were her instructor Four." He nods at Tris. "When did you first… get together?"

I hesitate for a second. Can I really say that? I take a breath. "It was during initiation."

At first he just stares at me, and at Tris. He exhales and nods. "I've know you for quite some time now Four," he says after a while. "And I know that you are a very loyal person. But you know, if other people find out about this, they may think you favored her." By _other__ people_ he means Eric and Peter.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. That's why they'll have to figure it out themselves with time."

Tris takes my hand and squeezes it. Max notices the gesture and suddenly seems somewhat uncomfortable. "Well then. I guess I'll have to accept it. But, that does _not_ mean that I approve." Then he leaves us.

When the door closes, we both exhale with relief. "Daunting," Tris says and laughs nervously.

"Always is."

She nods, her smiles suddenly fading. "What do you think will happen if Eric and Peter finds out?"

"I don't know," I say. "Maybe if they find out after a longer time, they won't care. But it doesn't matter because I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know. It's just that if Peter knew he would, like always, try to ruin it for me."

"Yeah well he can't. We'll just have to train you hard enough so that you'll always be able to beat him up."

She laughs. "It would be nice to beat him up actually."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Tobias**

After practice Tris goes to see Christina, so I decide to go to the control room. I sit there for a while, watching the screens when suddenly my eye catches something. I see a girl sitting in a corner in one of the tunnels, where members rarely go. Her shoulders are shaking which indicates that she's crying. I decide to go and see if she's okay.

When I get there, she's still sitting hunched on the ground. I ask, as carefully as I can:

"Hey. Are you okay?"

She flinches and stands up. "I'm fine." She quickly wipes her cheeks and fixes her hair. "Who are you?"

"Four."

"I'm Alice." Alice Harper.

"Harper?"

She frowns. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"I've heard things."

She smiles. A smile that makes me uncomfortable. "What things?"

"Doesn't matter." I scan her carefully. "Anyway, I saw you from the control room so I just thought I'd see if you we're okay. Which you are, so…" I turn to leave.

"Wait." I stop. "Can you walk me to my apartment." _No_. "I'm afraid I'll bump into…um… a guy."

"Who?"

"You don't know him. He's not dangerous or anything. I'm just trying to avoid him. I was kind off mean to him."

"Okay. I'll walk you," I say even though I don't want to. She smiles and I accompany her.

We start walking. I keep quiet, because I don't really know what to say, and I'd rather not talk to her. Like I said, I've heard things and they're not very appealing.

"So," she says breaking the silent, "you're the legendary Four. I've heard things about you too."

"Is that right?" I say, trying to sound uninterested.

"Yeah, you're like famous around here." I don't know what she means by that. Sure I was first ranked, but there's someone who is every year. Why would I be more special than anyone else?

We don't speak again until we reach her door.

"This is me. Thanks for walking with me Four." Then she does something I was not expecting. She leans in closer, pouts her lips and closes her eyes.

I quickly pull away. "What are you doing?"

"Um…" She scratches her neck, avoiding my eyes. "I… I'm sorry." She opens the door and disappears into her apartment. I'm too shocked to move. Then, I hear my name.

"Tobias?" I turn around. Tris is walking toward me. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"I um… I was just walking around. Waiting for you." I lean in to kiss her, but she stops me.

"But how did you know I was taking this way? We always take the other tunnel."

"Well, I was hoping to bump into you." I didn't plan to lie to her. Tris isn't the jealous type, but I don't want to worry her for no reason. Especially given what Shauna said about Alice this morning.

"Okay then," she says, but I'm not sure if I fully convinced her. She takes my hand and we start walking.

"So how was Christina?" I ask trying to change the subject.

"Great. I've missed her. We haven't really hung out just the two of us since initiations."

"What'd you do?"

"We talked a lot. We don't actually know that much about each other. So we just talked about our lives kind of. Our families, Will and her, you."

I stop. "Really?" I raise my eyebrows and grin. "What about me?"

"That's for her and me to know only," she says.

I take a step forward and gently push her against the wall. "C'mon, you can tell me." I lean in and kiss her neck. At first she just stands there, with her arms around my waist, but then she puts her hand on my chest and pushes me away.

"Tobias. Not here." She takes my hand.

When we get to her apartment, she quickly opens the door. It's unlocked, as usual.

"How's it going with locking your door?" I say when she's closes it.

"Great." she says.

I walk over and sit down on the couch. Just as she has closed the door, someone knocks on it. "There's no one here," Tris shouts but the knocking doesn't stop. "Fine." She opens it. It's Zeke. "Oh, sorry," he says when he sees me on the couch. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Not really," I say and walk over to them.

"I was coming to remind you of Capture the flag. We're meeting by the train tracks 7.50. That's in 30 minutes so I suggest you get ready. Me, Uriah and Shauna will bring the paintball-guns. See yah then. Don't be late!" He says and winks at me, meaning exactly what you'd think. Then he leaves.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower, " Tris says and disappears into the bathroom.

I decide not to change my clothes. I wear my black pants and black hoodie. That'll do. I sit down on the couch, and think about what happened earlier. Alice definitely took my rare kindness in the wrong way. She obviously doesn't know about Tris and me, and from what I've heard she's not shy when it comes to the opposite sex. Hopefully she'll not find any interest in me. I must have been deep in my thoughts, cause I don't notice Tris standing in front of me.

"You okay?" She says.

I look up. "Um, yeah. Great." I get up and walk over to her.

She puts her hands on my chest. "No you're not. What's on your mind?" She looks into my eyes, frowning. "C'mon tell me"

Can I? We've obviously never had this problem. I try to be honest with her at all time, but sometimes the other person is just better of not knowing the truth. She's just like Zeke though. She can tell when I'm keeping something from her, but it may just turn into unnecessary drama. "It's nothing really. I'm just thinking about the game tonight. Some strategies."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, now c'mon. We can't be late."

**Tris**

We walk hand in hand to the tracks. He's keeping something from me. I can tell. I need to confront him about it, but I don't know how, or where.

"You're here. Awesome!" Christina says when we reach the tracks. Everyone is there.

"Okay, me and Uriah are team captains, and we'll pick out the teams," Zeke says.

Last time during initiation, I was sure that I would be picked last, but now I might not. I'm stronger and faster, and I've learned a lot since last time.

"The train is here," Lynn says and points toward two lights coming closer. Everyone starts to run along the track. The cold wind makes my eyes water. I cling to the handle next to the doorway and I pull myself in. Once everyone is inside, Zeke and Uriah stand in the middle.

"You pick first lil-bro."

"Okay. Marlene."

"Four." Zeke looks pleased as Tobias stands next to him. He probably sees them fighting unstoppably together.

"Tris." Tobias and I are on the opposite teams. I don't know if that's good or bad. He gives me a sad look, but his eyes are smiling. He's definitely looking forward to beating me. My thoughts take over and I stop paying attention. Truthfully, my only goal now is to get Tobias alone so that he'll tell me the truth about what's going on with him. Winning the game doesn't feel quite as important.

"Tris, are you listening?" I look up. Uriah is standing in front of me. Tobias is on the other side of the car with Zeke, Shauna and Christina. On my side it's me, Uriah, Marlene, Will and Lynn.

"Yeah, sorry. Continue."

"As I was saying," Uriah says, "the most important thing is that we have a good strategy. We'll come up with one when we get off. We can't risk the other team over hearing."

I look over at them. They're whispering about something, probably strategy as well.

"Okay. Uriah your team will get off first. Two minutes left. Get ready." Zeke says.

We stand up and walk over to the doorway. Tobias stand next to me. "You ready?" He smiles and takes my hand, even though we're opponents.

"Bring it on."

We line up and Uriah is the first one to jump. I decide to go last. When it's my turn, I blow a kiss to Tobias. "Be brave Tris," he says and winks. Then I jump.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello there! It's lovely to see that you've come here to read my story. I really appreciate it!**

**Before I continue this fan fiction, I wanted to say a few things. **

**My story is a fan fiction of the book and not the movie. It's inspired by Veronica's way of describing Tris and Tobias as individuals and as a couple. I try to change their characters a little bit though, since there was now war in my version and they've become completely different people than what they did in Veronica's books. I love every single thing about her writing and I wouldn't want it any other way. **

**What I wanted to say was that since this is my story, I think it's okay that we meet some new sides of the characters. I'm just trying to be open for anything and let the characters adjust in their own way. I hope that you, all of my amazing readers, understand that and hopefully agree. **

**Now, enough with this speech. Let's see some Fourtris drama. Or will we? Find out in this next chapter. Happy reading ^^**

Chapter 16

**Tobias**

We decide to hide the flag in the apple tree next to an abandoned house. When we're done with strategy talk we split up. Christina and Shauna will guard and Zeke and I will attack. We quietly walk toward the other team with our guns ready.

"So, I have a question for you," Zeke says.

"Yeah?"

"This is kind of awkward. I wouldn't normally go to you for this, but I need some help with…"

"Wait." I stop. "Right now? In the middle of the game?"

"Um, yeah."

I look at him and nod. "Continue."

"Anyway. Shauna has been acting really weird lately. She doesn't seem so in to me anymore. I'm afraid she's interested in someone else. I try to be a good boyfriend, but I'm not really boyfriend material. I've never been, I mean you know that." I pretend to scratch my cheek to hide my grin. "So, what do you think I should do?"

"I think you should talk to her. Like you so kindly pointed out, I don't have much experience when it comes to girls, but I definitely think you should talk to her."

"I guess. Thanks."

Just then I see it, an orange light up in the old church tower. That's their flag. I turn to Zeke but something has hit him in the leg and he falls to the ground, howling with pain. I look up and see Lynn a few feet away. She grins and aims her gun again, but I'm fast enough to stop the small paintball from hitting me. Instead it hits a lamppost behind me and glass shatters everywhere. I grab Zeke's arm and drag him with me behind a container.

"Who was it?"

"Lynn. I think I saw Will and Uriah behind her. I'll go to the right, and try to sneak past them. I don't know where Marlene and Tris are so you'll have to cover me. Can you do that?"

"Yeah." He straightens his body. "It doesn't hurt much anymore. It barley does. I was just… shocked."

"If that's your story." I stand up and silently walk toward the church. I can hear guns firing and screaming voices.

* * *

When I reach the church I look around to see if anyone's there. I walk inside and squint through the dark. I spot the stairs and start to climb them. When I reach the top; I see Tris standing with her gun aiming at me.

I aim back. "Hi there," I say.

"If you want the flag you're going to have to get past me," she says. She starts walking toward me slowly. "I don't really care that much about winning this game, so I have a proposition for you."

"I'm listening."

"I know you're keeping something from me." My body tightens. "If you tell me what it is, I'll let you take the flag."

"Tris." I search for her eyes in the dark. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does." My eyes have adjusted and I can see lowering her gun. I do too. "Tobias, it's hard enough to trust people in dauntless. I can't have you keeping things from me too. Just tell me."

"It's not important." I shake my head a few times. "But if you need to know, then fine." I clear my throat. "This morning when you went to see Christina I went to the control room. I saw on one of the screens a girl crying in one of the tunnels. I decided to go see if she was okay. She was, and I walked her back to her apartment and then you came."

Tris frowns. "That's not the entire truth."

I sigh. "The girl was Alice Harper and when we were outside her apartment she… tried to kiss me." Tris doesn't say anything else. I take her hands in mine. "Look, I didn't tell you because you shouldn't worry and…"

"That's not up to you Tobias." She wrenches her hands back. "I trust you to be honest with me because that's what we agreed on. Remember?"

"Yes, I do. I just…"

She interrupts again. "I don't care about this Alice person cause I know you love me. What hurts is that you kept it from me and you lied when I asked you if something was wrong."

"I know and I'm so sorry."

She doesn't look at me. "Whatever. Take the flag, I don't care." She walks past me and down the stairs.

"Tris, wait!" I call after her, but she's already gone.

**Tris**

I've never thought of myself as the jealous girlfriend type. I told Tobias that him keeping the truth from me was what hurt the most, but the thought of some other girl kissing him hurts just as much, even though it didn't happen. I walk toward my teams meeting point. Marlene is standing by the tree, leaning against its trunk. She's covered in every color I can think of. "Tris!" She limps toward me. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to guard our flag."

"Four took it." I lie. "We lost."

I hear cheering from the old church. Through the dark I can spot the other team jumping around Tobias who's holding our flag in his hand. I roll my eyes and start walking toward the tracks. Marlene stumbles after me. On the way we catch up with Uriah, Will and Lynn. They're all covered with paint too.

"We lost," Marlene says and keeps walking.

"Oh man. Zeke's never going to shut up about this," Uriah complains.

We walk to the tracks and wait for the next train. No one says anything. The other team joins us when the train lights appear from a distance. When it reaches us, we start running along side it. We spread out. I don't feel like talking to anyone so I cling to the handle of the last car and pull myself in, planning to have some alone time while I can. But just when I sit down, a dark figure pulls it self onto the car. A light source from somewhere lids up the car and I can see that it's Tobias. He sits down across from me on the other side, one leg stretched out, his arm slung over his knee. He doesn't say anything, so we sit there silent. When he finally says something I immediately wish he hadn't. "Can we talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?" I say without looking at him.

He gets up and sits down in front of me. "Tris," he says. I keep my eyes on the floor. He takes my hands. "Look at me!" I give up and lift my eyes to his. The hurt in his eyes sting when I look into them.

"Please don't think that what happened meant anything, because it didn't. I would _never_ cheat on you."

I sigh. He's right. "I know that. It's just; I've never dealt with this kind of things before. I didn't know how to react, or what to say. I just got mad because you didn't tell m. I may not know Alice but from what Shauna's told me she goes after pretty much every guy. But I'm sorry. It wasn't fair of me walk away like that."

He smiles a little. "It's okay. I forgive you." He pulls me closer and I put my arms around his back, burying my face in his shoulder. He tugs me tighter and strokes my back.

His embrace makes it hard to keep my eyes open, so I give up and my eyelids close.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Tobias**

"Tris? We have to jump now."

She mumbles something I can't hear and slowly stands up. I take her hand and we jump together. We land on our feet, stumble a few steps before we regain balance. We walk with the others to the compound. Uriah, Lynn and Marlene are talking and laughing really loudly. Zeke and Shauna are behind us whispering and ahead of us Will and Christina are walking hand in hand. Tris and I are quiet. I'm not sure if I convinced her about Alice. I don't know what Alice will do, leave me alone or try something else. I just know I'll have to make myself perfectly clear with her. Before we all go to our apartments, Zeke invites us to another game of truth or dare tomorrow, probably planning his revenge on me for making him drink the peace serum. After I walk Tris back to her apartment I decide to go to the control room, since I'm not really tired at this time. I like it there at night, when only a few people there.

**Tris**

I try to sleep for what seems like hours. I look at the time. 45 minutes since I went to bed. After twisting a long time under the covers, trying to find a comfortable position, I give up and put on my shoes and jacket. I decide to go and see if Tobias is still awake. I always sleep better with his arms around me. When I reach his apartment the door is slightly open. Strange. I push it open with my foot. The apartment is dark and still. Nothing seem out of place, still something feels different. I hear something behind me and I turn around. "Tris? What are you doing here so late?" Tobias turns on the light.

"I couldn't sleep."

He smiles. "Come here."

Together we crawl under the covers. He wraps his arms around me and it doesn't take long until we fall asleep.

**Tobias**

Today we have the day off. No job, no practice. Next week everyone will start work again. The week when the new members of dauntless join everyone is off work. Initiation instructor is seasonal work so Tris has to choose another job. On Sunday she'll go to Max's office and see what's available, but we still have four days of only free time and practice.I watch Tris sleep. She looks peaceful, resting her head against my chest. She's mine and it will always be that way. As if she just read my mind, she opens her eyes. She catches me staring and buries her face in my shoulder, laughing a little. "Are you watching me sleep?"

"Maybe."

"I was thinking," she says. Her voice is soft. "I wanted to go and visit my parents today. I haven't seen my mom since visiting day, and my dad since the choosing ceremony. I really miss them. Can I do that? I mean, is it… allowed?

"Yeah. A quick visit now and then is not against the rules."

"Would you go with me? My mom only met you that one time on visiting day, as my instructor. None of them have really met _you_."

They've met me, but only as the boy living in Abnegation. I'm Marcus Eaton's son. Tris' dad works with my father so they know each other. I doubt they would recognize me though. I look nothing like the boy they knew.

I smile. "Yeah, of course I'll go with you."

She smiles back and kisses me. It's a quick one, so when she pulls away I pull her back.

"We don't have to leave yet now do we?" I say.

"I guess not." She kisses me again, longer this time. Every time I kiss her, I always want more. Like it's never enough.

"Tobias. We have to eat breakfast before we leave."

"Mm."

"I'm serious. C'mon." She pushes me away and gets up, pulling me with her.

* * *

When we get there, only Will and Christina are sitting at the table. We get our breakfast and sit down next to them. "So, ready for some daring tonight Four?" Christina asks me.

"Yeah, I have a few in mind."

"Like what?"

"Can't tell you that."

Christina does a pouty face, but doesn't say anything else.

"Are you going somewhere?" Will asks, looking at Tris' bag.

"Yeah, going to see my parents."

"Really? They let you do that here?" Christina says frowning.

"Yeah, a few visits now and then are okay," I say.

"Interesting," Will says and takes Christina's hand. She smiles at him.

I pull myself into the car, with Tris right behind me. We sit down by the doorway and look out over our city flashing by.

"I'm glad you came," she says.

Saying yes was not much more than me showing my support. I wouldn't normally go myself considering my past. I don't know what will be waiting in Abnegation. I haven't been there much since I left. Being back will be strange, but hopefully with Tris there it will somehow be easier. "Yeah, of course." I put my arms around her shoulder.

"I'm nervous," she says after a while.

I laugh a little. "So am I. But don't worry, we'll get through it."

She smiles. "My parents will like you. I know it."

I force a smile, but thinking about seeing Andrew and Natalie again after more than two years makes me anxious. Tris not knowing makes it even worse.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Tris**

It's strange, being back in Abnegation. The environment, the streets, the people, it all brings back so many memories. Walking by the houses, I realize that this was Tobias home not to long ago too. I look at him. He looks nervous, but still calm in a way. Even though I told Tobias the opposite, I really don't know what to expect from my parents. Despite the fact that we live in different factions and that they don't really have any right to have a valid opinion, they're still my parents. All a girl wants from her parents is their blessing. "You okay?" I ask him, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Yeah."

I knock three times, and it feels odd. I never thought I would knock on my own door. This is it. No turning back. Tobias squeezes my hand when the door opens. She's still beautiful, and it's a shame Abnegation vanity rules prevent her from showing it. Her smile reveals wrinkles near her eyes that weren't there the last time I saw her. Has it really been that long? She has her hair tied in a knot and her usual grey clothing.

"Beatrice." She embraces me in her arms and laughs against my cheek. When she pulls away I can see tears in her eyes. "Look at you."

"Hi mom."

Her eyes shift to Tobias. "Hello," she says and reaches out her hand. "Nice to see you again Four."

He smiles, takes her hand and nods. "You too Mrs. Prior."

"Well," she says and releases his hand. "Come in. I'll fix us something to eat."

We walk in and she disappears into the kitchen. There are too many feelings about being back here. The memories are countless.

"How do you feel?" Tobias says.

"Overwhelmed."

"Yeah, I can understand that."

We sit down on the couch in the living room.

"Okay kids. I baked some bread yesterday. Hope that will do."

"It's great Mrs. Prior, thank you," Tobias says as my mom sits down.

She hands me a slice of bread. "Where's dad?" I say and take a bite. The taste is familiar, plain, and I realize all the good food I missed out on when I was still living here.

"He's working. He'll be home later." She smiles a little. "Now tell me, what brings you two here?"

"Um." I look at Tobias. "I just wanted to see you… and," I clear my throat, "tell you that…"

"Tobias," Tobias says.

My mom frowns. "Tobias?" Then she raises her eyebrows. "Oh, so that's your real name?"

"Yes."

"I see."

They stare at each other, in a strangely unusual way.

"Anyway," say to break the silence. "The reason I brought Tobias was to tell you that… we are seeing each other now."

She looks at me. "Really? Isn't he your instructor Beatrice?"

"Was my instructor, but…"

Tobias interrupts. "We didn't plan this. It just happen, but I do love your daughter."

Mom smiles. "As long as you're happy Beatrice," she says and takes my hand.

"I am."

"Okay then." She puts her hands on her knees. "You have my blessing."

I sigh with relief. That's all I wanted. We sit there and talk for a while. I never thought I would have a mother, daughter, boyfriend conversation, like Christina calls it. I hope telling dad will go as smoothly.

"Okay, let me just take care of this." My selfless mother. "Why don't you take a look around the house? It's been a while since you were here Beatrice."

"Yeah okay."

"Actually, let me help you with that," Tobias says and picks up the plates.

"Oh, alright. That's very thoughtful of you," mom says with a thankful smile. They go in to the kitchen and I walk up to my room.

**Tobias**

I set the plates down on the counter. Now's the time to say something, but before I get chance to say anything, Natalie speaks.

"I know who you are, Tobias." She smiles. "How could I forget?" She recognizes me, even though I've changed so much. I wasn't sure if she did when she came to Dauntless on visiting day. After all of these years, she still remembers me. She walks over and wraps her arms around my shoulders. It's strange, Abnegation usually doesn't use physical touches, but I hug her back anyway. "How are you?" She says and pulls away.

"I'm good. Tris makes everything a lot better."

She smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "She's got a new life now." I nod.

Then her face expression suddenly changes and her look worries me. She leans in closer. "Tobias. You're in danger." She says it so quietly that it takes me a second to realize what she said.

"What are you talking about?

"I can't say. You father is trying to fix it. He's been gone for almost a week now. I can't tell you what it's about. Not now."

"Natalie…"

"No, you're just gonna have to trust me. Come back here again on Saturday, 5 pm. You can't tell Beatrice. She's also in danger."

"Wait, what?" I say, too loud.

"Shh!" She sighs. "I'm sorry Tobias. You _have_ to trust me."

"You're asking me to lie to Tris?"

"Yes, you have to. We can't talk about this anymore. Now, go up to Beatrice and tell her that you two have to leave. You shouldn't be here when her dad gets home." She brushes my cheek with her soft narrow fingers. "You've become such a strong man Tobias. It will be okay. Trust me."

I nod slowly, turn around and walk up the stairs. How could I lie to Tris?

When I reach the top of the stairs, I stop and look around. Abnegation houses look very similar. I hear something behind one of the doors and walk over to it. I turn the doorknob slowly and push the door open. Tris is sitting on the bed, holding a book in her hands. "This was the first book I ever got. It only contains pictures. You're supposed to make your own future story." She looks up and smiles. "I would've never imagined having this life."

"Yeah I know. Life's crazy," I say. "But, we should go. We don't wanna be late for truth or dare," I say.

She looks at me and for a moment I think that she will know something's up. "Yeah. I just need a minute."

"Sure."

**Tris**

He leaves the room and I'm alone again. I think about Caleb. I wonder if he's been back here since the choosing ceremony. His choice to leave Abnegation for Erudite was just as big of a shock for me as it was for my parents. Maybe he can't come back because of his new faction. I know Erudite isn't too fond with Abnegation, and I don't know their rules for visiting your old faction. For some strange reason, my gut tells me that they _never _underestimate our statement: _Faction before blood._

I take one last look around before I walk down again. My mom and Tobias are standing at the door waiting.

"Ready to go?" Tobias says.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

Mom takes my hand in hers and hugs me. "I love you sweet girl. Don't forget about us in Dauntless, okay?" She laughs a little.

"I won't. I couldn't. Tell dad I said hi okay?"

"I will." She looks at Tobias. "Goodbye Tobias. It was lovely to see you again."

"And you too Mrs. Prior."

She shakes her head. "Natalie."

"Natalie." He smiles a little.

I take Tobias hand and we leave the house. My house. Mom waves as we walk down the street.

Tobias stops just after a few feet. "What? What is it?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"Could we stop by my house as well?"

"Yeah, of course. But isn't Marcus there?"

"No, he's gone this week."

"How do you know that?" I ask frowning.

"Um, I asked your mother."

"Alright then. Lead the way."

He takes my hand and we walk over to a house not to far away. He reaches for something under the doormat. A key. He unlocks the door and we go inside. I'm not sure what to say, so I just follow him up stairs.

"I wanna show you something."

When we reach a room, his bedroom, he hesitates before opening the door.

"It's okay," I say.

He turns the doorknob and pushes the door open. The first thing I see is a blue sculpture on a desk by the window. The sun hits it like a light source, creating blue reflections all over the walls. Tobias walks over to the desk and picks it up.

"I got this from my mother when she was still alive. She said it didn't do anything special, but that it might in my room. At the time I didn't know what she meant." I stand next to him. "After that I started to collect, what other people would have called useless, objects in a trunk under my bed. When my father found it, he said it was self-indulgence. That was the last time he hit me. The choosing ceremony was the next day so I put this sculpture here before we left the house. Somehow I knew I would leave this faction for good, so I left it as a souvenir of my freedom. To remind Marcus everyday that he could no longer control me." He frowns. "I don't think he's been in here since." He looks down. Again, I'm not sure what to say. "My point is; _you_ are my freedom Tris." He turns to me. "You remind me of how to live my life, and what it all means and why I'm here. Everyday you help me breath, by just being you." He takes my face between his hands and kisses me softly. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him back. Doing this here, should feel strange, but it doesn't. It feels like we're both fully exposed to one another as our true selves.

"Thank you for telling me that," I say.

"I want you to know me."

I smile and kiss him again. I never thought loving someone so much it hurts was possible, but with him it is. Every muscle in my body aches when he holds me. An electric shock goes through my veins when he kisses me. My skin is on fire every time he touches me. I am his, and he is mine, and it has always been that way.1

**1 ****Quote: Veronica Roth, the author of the Divergent trilogy.**

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**Tobias**

We jump off the train and walk toward Dauntless' compound. I think about what Natalie said. We're in danger? What does she mean? And what does my dad have to do with it? Why would he want to fix it? And how am I supposed to lie to Tris?

"Are you okay?" Tris says. "You haven't said much since we left Abnegation."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just many thoughts."

"Care to share some?"

"Not really. Just Marcus stuff."

"You sure?"

I'm not sure. I'm going to have to come up with a really good lie 'til Saturday. Lying to Tris is almost impossible, and I don't even know what I'm lying about. "Yeah."

We decide to meet at Zeke's place and get ready in our own apartments. I'm the first one to get there. "Hey man," Zeke says when he opens the door. He hands me a beer and we sit down across from each other on the couches. "So, how's everything with you and Tris. I thought you guys would come together?"

"It's good. We just decided to meet here."

"Alright." He still looks suspicious. I shouldn't tell him about what happened in Abnegation, even though he's my best friend. Someone knocks on the door and Zeke goes to open it. Shauna stands in the doorway smiling. "Hi." She leans in and kisses him. I look away. Never really got used to that. After a few minutes Will, Christina, Lynn, Uriah and Marlene are also here.

Christina sits down next to me. "Where's Tris?"

"I don't know. She should come any minute." I look at my watch. 5.11. She's late.

I start talking to the others and after almost thirty minutes someone knocks on the door. This time I get up and answer the door before Zeke gets a chance to. Outside Tris stands, with large cut on her cheek. "Tris! What happened to you?" I grab her shoulders.

"I'm sorry. I tried to hurry."

I run my fingers over her nose and cheekbones. "I…"

"Oh my god, Tris!" Christina says from behind us. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure," she says. "I just remember walking here, and then waking up on the street."

"We're you attacked?" Christina reaches for her hands.

"I don't know," Tris says. Now everyone is gathered around us. "I'm not badly injured. It's just a small cut."

"Nonsense. Let's get you cleaned up," I say and lead her into the bathroom.

What if this has something to do with what Natalie told me? She sits down on the chair and I sink to the floor in front of her. I grab some tissues and start cleaning her cut. She frowns a little when I use the rubbing alcohol, but she doesn't pull away. This is my fault. I should have gone with her. "I'm sorry," I say.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. If we would have gone together this wouldn't have happened."

"Listen to me." She turns my head so that I'm looking into her eyes. "I'm okay, I promise."

"But what if you weren't?" I pull away. This is my fault. I could have told her about Natalie's warning. It has to have something to do with that.

She stands up and grabs my wrists. The strength in her grip surprises me. She's not crying anymore. She looks almost, angry.

"Tobias don't you…" She sighs. "Don't you dare blame this on yourself." She pulls me closer and presses her forehead against mine. It's enough to calm me down. "We're going to go out there. We're going to be with our friends and we're going to have a great time. Okay?"

"Okay."

We walk back out and they all look concerned.

"Are you okay Tris," Uriah says.

"Yes, I'm good." She takes my hand and squeezes it. "Let's play."

"Four!" Zeke grabs my shoulder. Basically everyone is drunk by now, except for Tris since she doesn't drink. I've been trying to avoid alcohol tonight too because I can't loose my eye on Tris. "Truth or dare?"

Even though it's Zeke who's asking, and he's seeking revenge, I choose what I always do to avoid getting asked about my fears or my past. "Dare."

"I dare you to take 10 shots!" he almost screams.

"That's it? That's your big re…" I stop. He looks at me, but I'm not sure if he really sees me. He's too drunk to remember that he's been planning his revenge. I bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing. "Okay, fine. 10 shots."

I do them without anyone really paying attention, only Zeke and Tris. Everyone else is laughing and talking really loud. When I'm done Zeke raises his glass and cheers for me. "Nice work buddy. Your turn!"

I look around. No one is still paying attention.

"Tris," I say, since she's the only one listening.

She smirks at me. "Dare."

"I dare you to come with me." I reach out my hand.

She doesn't look surprised. "I'd love to." She takes my hand and we leave the apartment, full with laughter and screaming, still with no ones attention on us.

* * *

**Tris**

"Here you go." Christina sits down next to me on the floor and hands me a plate with Dauntless brownies. "I'm so tried!" she says and yawns. "Thank god today was our last." She and I have been volunteering these last two days to do some shipment work for Dauntless. "Oh, I forgot," Christina, says. "I brought some of my old shirts and pants. I know you don't like shopping and you're smaller than me so they'll probably fit you." She hands me a bag, full with black clothes. "If you don't like them you can throw them away. I've grown out of them."

I laugh a little. "Thanks, I guess."

"So, how do you feel about tomorrow?"

Tomorrow I'll go and see Max about another job. I haven't taken the time to look into what positions are available. "So so. Hope something good is available."

"I'm sure there is. Otherwise, they always hire people in the control room, probably at the tattoo parlor as well. That's where I'll be working."

"Really? Since when?"

"Since this morning. I asked Tori and she hired me. I'm sure you'd get a job there too if you ask."

"Yeah, we'll see."

We continue talking for hours. When you're having fun and laughing, it's hard to keep track on time. "Where is Four by the way? Haven't seen him much lately," Christina says while trying on a black dress she bought a few days ago.

"He's just been working a lot in the control room. Two guys were fired because they did something, breaking the rules, and now he has to work extra shifts. What about Will? He works there now too."

"Yeah, but since you dragged me along on this volunteer thing, I haven't had any time to talk to him."

"Are you two okay?"

"Yeah? Why would you ask that?"

"No reason, just checking." I smile and continue to go through Christina's old clothes. I do wonder where Tobias is. It's almost 5 pm and I haven't seen him since breakfast.

**Tobias**

Before I knock, I stand there for a while. When I walk through this door, I'll know the truth. I'm scared that it'll change things. That it will be too much information for me to handle. I know I've had trouble with that in the past. Just then, the door opens. Standing in front of me, is Marcus. Memories immediately flash by and I have to look away to prevent myself from doing something I will regret.

"Tobias," he says. "I'm sorry." He touches my arm carefully. I remain still, not reacting to his words in any way. Then he leaves.

"Good, you're here." Natalie waves at me from the living room and I walk in, closing the door behind me. "Sit down."

"Why am I here Natalie?" I say, still standing.

"I'll explain everything, just please, sit down." I sit down on the couch. "I'm not sure where to start. I don't even know when it started, but I know it's been going on for a while. Do you know who Jeanine Matthews is?"

"Of course I do. I've been investigating her for a while."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, she's up to something. I've seen her in Dauntless headquarters a few times."

"Exactly. What she is doing…" she pauses. "She's planning on taking down all the Divergents." She places her hand on my leg. "I know you're Divergent Tobias and Beatrice is too. That's why you're in danger."

"What do you mean she's planning on taking us down?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just didn't know how to reach you. When you and Beatrice came and visited, I knew that was my only chance. She's planning to kill every single Divergent. For her, they're a threat to the system. You can't be controlled, and that frightens her."

"But she's not in the leading faction?"

"I know. That's why she's also planning to overthrow Abnegation. She's planning a war Tobias. Targeting Abnegation and the Divergents."

I'm too shocked to speak, so I just stare at her. _War? _This can't be happening.

"Your father has been working on getting more information. He's been in touch with Erudite and a lot of them are on our side. No one wants war, but you can't stand up against Jeanine. She'll kill you in cold blood. She shows no compassion."

My body shivers. How can this woman be the leader of a faction? "What did Marcus have to say about it?" I stiffen. It's still strange to say his name.

"He had good news. He thinks if someone on the inside could find out more details about Jeanine's plan, for example when she's planning on doing it, we could take her down together. She's more powerful than everyone realizes. She uses a control serum on her people to make them follow her orders and when they wake up from it, they have no memory of what happened."

I frown. "How do you know all of this?"

"Marcus. I don't know how he knows but I do know he's telling the truth." She fixes her eyes to mine. "I know you don't trust him, but I can tell when someone is lying and he is not."

"So what do we do?"

"_You_ have to go back to Dauntless and keep Beatrice safe. She can not know about this."

"I don't think I will be able to keep this from her. She always knows when something is wrong."

"You have no choice. If you can't keep quiet, you'll have to stay away from her until this is all over and I know you don't want to do that."

I shake my head. "Dauntless could help."

"No. This will be done quietly, no war. We can't worry our citizens."

"Then why did you tell me all of this? Why even bother?"

"Because I needed to warn you. Jeanine is sending out people to look for Divergents. They attack innocent people, and while they're unconscious, they do a test to see if they're Divergent, done very quickly. It's something new Jeanine made. She's evil, but smart. She knows what she is doing."

That's what happened to Tris. She said she'd just woken up on the street, not knowing what have happened. My heart thumping in my ears, I stand up. She is not safe. They know she's Divergent now. "I'm helping you." She puts up her hand to protest but I continue. "Tris is in danger and there is no way you're gonna prevent me from helping you. I'm coming."

She sighs. "Okay, I guess I can't stop you."

"I have to go."

"Tobias, I don't want you to mention this to Beatrice, but if she somehow finds out, you need to stop her from coming here. Promise me?"

"I'll try." Then I leave her, I leave the house, and I leave Abnegation. I have to see Tris.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Tris**

Just when I'm about to give up hope of seeing Tobias today, he finally walks through the door. "Where have you been," I ask, angrier than I meant to.

"I'm sorry. I just needed some time alone. Besides, you were with Christina."  
"Yeah well knowing where you were would have been nice. And why did you need some time alone? What's going on with you?"

He clears his throat. "Just… Marcus stuff again. He's really been bothering me lately. I don't know why."

He looks sad. I feel a twinge of guilt in my stomach and walk over to him. "I'm sorry." I put my hands gently around his neck. "I was just worried."

"It's okay."

* * *

We decide to sleep in my apartment tonight. "I was thinking," Tobias says as I lay down next to him. "Tomorrow, before you go visit Max, we should make a trip."

"Really? Where?"

"A place I know. Not too far from here."

I frown. "Tell me."

"Well, it's near the Ferris wheel. I wanna show it to you."

"Oh I see. So it's like a date?"

"Yeah, I guess." He grins and we fall asleep before saying anything else.

**Tobias**

After jumping off the train, I lead her to the field by the fence. In the middle of it is a big oak, with a tree house in its crown. Zeke and Uriah build it when they we're kids. Zeke showed me this back when we were initiates. I remember getting caught by Amar for sneaking out outside Dauntless headquarters. He didn't tell Max, just left us with a warning. I think that was the moment when I saw that he had a caring heart. Not at all like most people's in Dauntless.

"You sure you wanna go up there? It's pretty high," Tris says squinting at the treetop.

"I'll be fine." I give her my hand. "Ladies first."

She's a fast climber, but soon I catch up to her. We climb side by side until we reach the top. It is high.

"You okay?" Tris says.

"Yeah, I'll adapt."

She laughs a little and starts to look around. "Wow. This is actually really good. Do you know who build it?"

"Yeah, Zeke and Uriah. When they were kids."

"Really? You sure it's okay that we're up here?"

"Yeah, they never go here now."

"Alright then."

We sit down by the doorway, looking out over the field and our city. You can't see much from here, just a part of the Dauntless compound, the train rails and the old rusty amusement park.

"You nervous about your meeting with Max?" I ask.

"A little."

"You shouldn't worry. It will be fine." She smiles and rests her head against my shoulder. I don't want to ruin the moment, but I can't pretend like I'm okay when really I'm not. "I'm sorry about what happened to you." I keep my eyes on the view. "The attack."

She sits up straighter. "Please don't tell me you're still blaming yourself for that It's not your fault, I've told you that."

"I just keep thinking that if I would have gone with you, it wouldn't have happened."

"You can't think like that." She leans in and presses her mouth against mine. I kiss her back because I know it will distract me from the lies. I shift my body and stand on my knees, my lips still on hers. Slowly she lies down on the wooden pavement, pulling me with her. She grabs my shoulder and gathers the fabric in her fist. I put my hand on the floor next to her head to steady myself. Her hand fits the arch of my back and she tugs me closer, even though we're only a couple inches apart. I caress her cheek with my thumb and then brush her over her side, curving over the hip, and touching her thigh. With her moving lips on my neck, my thoughts fade away fast. Suddenly it's like we're in a hurry, the kissing growing more intense. Her lips are soft against mine, and she tastes like fresh air and something sweet. I don't know where this is going, but I can't do this as a distraction. And I can't lie to her. "Wait," I sit up. She pulls down her shirt over her bare stomach and looks at me with confusion. "Tris I need to tell you something."

She sits up. "What is it?"

"I haven't been honest with you. Yesterday, I went back to Abnegation to see your mother."

"What? Why?"

"She asked me to."

"Why would she do that?"

"Tris." I sigh. I have to tell her. Everything. "I know your mother. Your parents know Marcus and when I lived in Abnegation we saw each other a lot. We…"

"Wait," she stands up. "So you lied to me? You were just pretending not to know her?"

"It's not that simple." I get up. "I didn't know Natalie was going to recognize me. But that's not the point. When I saw her yesterday, she told me something. I promised her that I wouldn't tell you, cause she wanted to keep you safe."

She scowls at me. "God Tobias! So you lied to me again?"

"You know who Jeanine Matthews is?"

She stares confusingly at me. "What?"

"Do you?"

"Yeah? What about her?"

"She's planning to overthrow Abnegation so that Erudite can be the leading faction and she can take down all the Divergents and if they don't act fast, she will declare war."

Tris looks stunned. She doesn't say anything and she doesn't look at me. I grab her wrist. "Can't you see that I'm trying to protect you?"

She finally looks into my eyes. "I don't need to be protected. We promised to be honest with each other."

"I know, and that's why I'm telling you now."

She shakes her head, but she doesn't look angry anymore. "So what are we suppose to do?"

"_We_ are not doing anything. Natalie strictly told me to not involve Dauntless. She said it will be done quietly and I have to agree with her. Dauntless will not do things quietly."

"We can't just do nothing. My family is in danger. You are in danger."

"And you Tris. You can't go there. It's not safe."

"What do you mean _I _can't?"

I know Natalie said that if Tris would find out, I had to stop her from coming with us. The problem is that Tris will never let me go alone. Never.

"Tobias you're not honestly thinking about going there without me?"

"What choice do I have? Tris you've already been attacked."

"Attacked? What are you…?" Her voice trails off.

"Yes, that was Jeanine's people. They know you're Divergent now, and they are going to kill you."

"Then don't you think it's better that I'm not where they think I am? Where they would be looking first."

Maybe she's right. Dauntless headquarters may not be safe but trying to stop Jeanine isn't either. "Fine. We'll talk to Natalie. Tomorrow." I look at my watch. "We have to leave. You're meeting Max in 20 minutes."

**Tris**

"Tris, nice to see you." Max gestures me to sit down. "So, I've been looking into what positions are available and I think some of them might interest you."

I tie my hands in my lap to stop them from shaking.

"Let's see what we have." Max picks out a file from his desk. "There are available positions in the control room and the tattoo parlor, like always. The patrol leadership, guarding our fence, and…" He pauses. "You know, I take it back. I don't think any of these are really for you."  
I raise my eyebrows. "Why do you say that?"

He watches me for a few seconds. Too long, and it makes me uncomfortable. "I think I have the perfect job for you Tris." He smiles a little. "Ever thought about joining us in leadership?"

A Dauntless leader? I never even considered that option. Being a leader means more responsibility than I've ever had. I'd be someone in charge of things. The idea sounds bizarre. I'm no leader. "I'm flattered sir, that you think I qualify for that job, but I don't think that's what I want to do."

"Okay." He frowns and scratches the back of his neck. "I see. Well that was my best option. Do you have any thoughts of your own?"

I realize that I actually don't. With what Tobias just told me, it's sort of hard to think about anything else, especially to decide what I will do everyday for a really long it hits me. If I won't be able to help Abnegation by their side, at least I can help them by overseeing everything from somewhere else.

"Yes, actually. I've recently taken some special interest in technology and I think I would really enjoy working in the control room."

He nods, but his eyes study me suspiciously. I sit nervously and wait for his answer. I feel like the word "liar" is written all over me. "Does this have something to do with Four working there?"

His words surprise me. I didn't even think about Tobias. "No, it has nothing to do with him," I say, trying to sounds casual. "I just want to do something I enjoy. Four just happens to work there as well."

"Well alright then. I'll let someone teach you the basics and how it works. Shouldn't be a problem if you enjoy working with computers." He smiles a little. "You're excused."

With relief I stand up, thank him and then I leave his office. I need to find Tobias.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi everyone. Just wanted to let you know that I'm not planning an end for this story yet. I really enjoy writing and I will keep doing it for as long as I want to. No need to worry that I will stop writing. I just sometimes take little longer breaks between my chapters. If you want me to post more often, please tell me so I know. Happy reading! **

Chapter 21

**Tobias**

While waiting for Tris I decide to go and see Shauna. I haven't talked to her in a while and honestly, I miss sitting by the chasm with her and Zeke, talking about everything that came to our minds. I knock on her door. "It's open," someone shouts from inside the apartment. I open the door and walk in. I can hear water running in the bathroom.

"Shauna?" I say and walk into the kitchen.

Zeke stands by the kitchen counter, holding a bowl with brown paste. "Hey Four. Shauna's in the shower."

"Oh, alright." I look at the bowl in his hands. "Baking?"

He laughs a little. "Yeah, Shauna wanted to make chocolate cake. Told her it's a secret recipe so we decided to make muffins instead."

"Really, secret?"

"Yeah, only the cooks know it. It's some special rare ingredient. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, just wanted to see Shauna."

"Why?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Oh no reason, just haven't talked to her in a while."

"Alright." He licks the spoon with chocolate paste. "So good," he says, grinning with chocolate on his teeth.

I look away. "Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go. Tris is probably done with her meeting by now anyway. Tell Shauna I said hi."

"Will do."

* * *

I leave the apartment and head for Max's office. Halfway there, I see Tris walking towards me from the other end of the tunnel. "Tris, hey, how did the meeting go?"

She walks faster and when she reaches me, she slips her arms around me. Her breaths are fast and her heartbeat is racing. "It was… intense. Listen," she pulls away. "I need to talk to you, but not here. Can we go to your apartment?"

"Yeah, sure."

She sits down on the couch next to me. "I got a job in the control room."

"What?" I look at her with wide eyes. "Why would you do that? You know nothing about computers."

"I can learn. Listen, the reason I took the job was that I could watch Abnegation when they attack Jeanine. If I can't join them, at least I can monitor them."

"You're insane Tris. You can't just take a job for that kind of reason. This is serious. If Max finds out he'll have you thrown out of Dauntless without hesitation."

"He won't, and I could enjoy working there."

"You wouldn't." I sigh. "Look I know you're just want to help, but in this way you wont. We'll talk to Natalie, but I seriously doubt she'll involve you. She asked me not to tell you so…"

"I don't care. She's my mother. I can talk to her."

"Easier said than done," I say and shake my head.

"If she says no, I'll join you anyway. People I love are in danger and I'm not going to just sit back and watch if something happens to them." She raises her eyebrows. "Would you?"

"I still think you shouldn't have picked the control room."

"Well then we'll deal with that later. I'm going."

* * *

We walk in silence. I look at my watch. 9.30. Yesterday Tris and I slept in our own apartments. After our conversation we decided to not see each other for the rest of the day. I spent almost the whole evening in the control room. Usually this time of year, after the new dauntless members join, there're not a lot of people working. Hangovers are pretty common. Therefor I like being there, with not so many people around.

"Ready?" I say when we reach the door.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Before she gets a chance to knock, the door opens. Natalie stands in the doorway. She wears a smile on her face, but then she sees Tris standing next to me. She doesn't look surprised or angry. More disappointed. She sighs. "I guess it was stupid of me to trust that you wouldn't tell her."

"I can explain…" I start.

"Don't. I understand." She takes Tris' hand. "Let's go inside."

We sit down at the dinner table. Natalie doesn't say anything. She just sits across from us, inspecting us. Finally she speaks. "We're taking action in three days. Marcus and myself will be leading a group of Abnegation and Erudite. We have people on the inside that will make sure Jeanine is where we want her to be when we strike."

"Are you sure we should wait three whole days? What if she attacks first?" Tris asks.

"She won't. An Erudite man gave us information about Jeanine's upcoming plans, and they're not scheduled until sometime next week. That's confirmed."

"What exactly will we do?" I ask.

"It won't be easy. We're doing this quietly; therefor there are not many of us actually going in there. Several from our forces will monitor us and help by telling us where potential guards will be. We'll be given erudite clothes to blend in, to avoid discovery."

"Who will go to erudite?" Tris asks.

"That has not yet been decided. Marcus and I will not go unfortunately. We'd be recognized."

"We wouldn't," Tris says. "We could go there."

"Tris," I say to stop her, though I'm not sure why.

"No, we could," she says. "We're dauntless. We're basically trained to do this. How many are you sending in there?"

Natalie doesn't answer right away. She looks at us and it makes me uncomfortable. I have a feeling it won't be a many. "Five. But…"

Tris exclaims. "Five? That's crazy!"

"Honey I'm not finished. We will send only five of us yes, but there will be three erudite insiders waiting there. They'll be waiting by the train tracks. Bigger groups are not that common in erudite and we don't want to draw attention to out selves."

"We're going. Me and Tobias."

I twist in my chair. I want to help, and I'm going to, but the fact that Tris is coming too makes me feel like it's not worth it. I don't dare to think about if something would happen to her.

"I'll have to talk to Marcus about it," Natalie says sternly. "But I understand that you two will be very useful." She takes our hands in each of hers. "But you have to know that this is not something I enjoy doing. I don't like sending you two there. Okay?"

"We know mom," Tris says. I try to smile, but it's hard to feel like smiling right now.

"Well," she let's go of our hands. "I'll go and talk to Marcus about it. I'll be back soon. Please stay here. We need to go through some more things. I need you two to be perfectly prepared." She gets up and leaves the house.

Tris turns to me. "Why aren't you saying anything?" Her anger surprises me. I didn't notice that I was being so absent in the conversation.

"I'm just… not sure what to say. This is all just very overwhelming."

"Since when does things get to overwhelming for you? I thought you of all people would be happy to do this."

"Yeah I would. But it's different now."

"How?"

"Because Tris," I get up. "Because you're coming too! Okay, I'm freaking out because you're also going." I back away and turn toward the window by the sink. I don't like showing this side of me. I almost never do, and sometimes I even forget that I have it.

"You don't think I can handle it?" Tris says from behind me.

"It has nothing to do with what you're capable of." I turn to her. "This is basically a suicide mission, you know that right? The chance of us making it out alive is not that great, terrible actually, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to protect you if something goes wrong."

"I know you think that that's your responsibility, but it's not. Your only responsibility is yourself." She walks over to me. "Okay?"

"Okay," I say, but I don't change my mind.

**Tris**

It doesn't take long until mom gets back, but she is not alone. Before she closes the door, Marcus walks in. I feel Tobias hand in mine and he squeezes it hard. You would think it's his protective instincts but no, he needs me to steady him.

"Son," Marcus says and nods toward Tobias, then me. "Tris." I don't answer.

Mom sighs. "If we're gonna do this together, you three are going to have to get along."

"I don't see that happening," Tobias says coldly, keeping his eyes focused on Marcus.

His whole body is tense, almost frozen. I look at him. His eyes are darker than usual, and his jaw is clenched.

"It's fine," I say and put my arm around Tobias. "Let's just go through this."

We sit down at the dinner table. Marcus is the first one to say something.

"So Natalie tells me you two want to go to Erudite. Is that right?"

"Yes," I say dryly.

"Alright then." He folds his hands in front of him on the table. "Then there's some information you need to know."

For some reason I'm surprised by the way he says it. Like it's no big deal that his son is about to risk his life for our city.

* * *

For almost two hours, we go through everything we will do and all the information there is to know. When Marcus finishes, a buzzing in my head that I wasn't aware of disappears. Taking this much information in at once is challenging. I straighten. My back hurts from sitting still so long and my whole body is stiff. I

"Okay, that's it," Marcus says. "You'll know what to do."

We all get up from our chairs. Mom takes my hand. "We'll see you Thursday, 6 pm."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

**Tobias **

"What do you think Max will say if he finds out that we weren't at work this morning?" Tris asks. She sits next to me in the train car.

"I don't know, but he probably won't."

"How do you know?"

"He doesn't bother looking into things like that. Plus, he's not in charge of us. It may seem that way, but we have our own self-control. It doesn't matter if you miss one or two shifts."

"Yeah but it was my first day. Also, _both of us_ were absent. That doesn't exactly seem like a coincidence."

"Stop worrying. It will be fine."

She sighs. "Yeah, okay. Am I being too paranoid?"

I smile. "A little, yes."

* * *

We jump off the train around 12.40 pm. Slowly we walk toward dauntless headquarters.

Out of nowhere, Tris grabs my hand and pulls me with her against the wall.

"Did you hear that?" She whispers.

"No, what was it?"

"Sounded like someone got punched. Wait here." She releases my hand and peeks around the corner. Quickly she turns back. "Oh my god."

"What was it?" I say and turn to look myself, but Tris stops me.

"No, don't. It's Erudite. I think they're doing the Divergent examination."

"On who?"

"I didn't see. It was a boy."

"I'll look."

I carefully stand by the edge of the wall and peek around the corner. About fifty feet away, two Erudite stands hunched over a body lying on the ground. When I see his face, by body freezes. Uriah. His eyes are closed, but he's breathing. One of the Erudite men pulls out a syringe from his pocket. The other one connects an electrode to his temple. They wait for about 30 seconds, then one of them nods. Quickly they pack up their things and disappear around another corner. I wait a while before I sprint toward him. I crouch next to his body and carefully place his head in my lap. "Uriah. Uriah wake up!"

Tris sits down on the ground next to me. "He's going to wake up. I did."

"Tris, he's divergent."

"What? Uriah?"

"Yeah. He was really good at hiding it during initiations."

Tris widens her eyes. "But then… they know."

Suddenly, Uriah twists his head and slowly opens his eyes.

"Uriah." Tris says. "It's okay, you're safe."

I'm surprised by how fast he manages to sit up. "What happened?"

"You were attacked." Tris takes his hand. "C'mon. We'll explain later. We have to get out of here." We help him to his feet, and carefully lead him through the door and into the glass building. By the time we reach his apartment, he can properly walk on his own.

"What was that?" Uriah says, while rubbing his neck.

I look at Tris. She nods. "Uriah, did you see anything unusual before you passed out?"

"No, I don't think so." He sits down on the couch. "Why?"

"You were attacked," Tris says. "By Erudite."

Uriah frowns. "Erudite?"

"Jeanine is seeking Divergents. She wants them all dead."

"What? Why?" He's divergent and he knows he's in danger.

"Because we threaten the system, but listen," I sit down next to him on the couch. "We're going to stop her. The reason you got attacked was because of her. They know you're divergent know. You have to keep a low profile, preferably stay in your apartment. You're not safe."

"But I don't understand. How will she do that?"

Tris takes his hand, and caress it with her fingertips. I'm surprised I noticed. "It's safer if you don't know. Just promise you'll stay here and don't tell anyone. We wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"I guess." He looks tired. Uriah is smart, but sometimes not enough to care.

"Good. Thank you."

* * *

We stay with him for almost an hour just to make sure that he's not in too bad shape, and when he's too tired to speak we leave him.

"You think he'll be okay?" Tris asks and slips off her shoes by the door.

"Yeah, he just needs some time. But hey," I put my arms around her waist. "He's Uriah. He'll be just fine."

"You know he's gonna wanna join us right?"

I've known Uriah for a long time now and I know that Tris is right. Even though he seemed shaken up now, he won't let us go without him. He's the kind of guy who wants to take action in everything, to never be a coward.

I heave a sigh and slide my hands into my back pockets. "I know."

"You think we can stop him?"

"Probably not, but that's not our only problem. Natalie will have to approve."

**Tris**

Wednesday. Tomorrow's it. These past couple of days has been really difficult. There has been more silent attacks in Dauntless. Max called an urgent meeting yesterday in the cafeteria saying that something is wrong with the food and that it is making a lot of people sick, but I know that's not true. I really don't know if Max is going to do something about it. He doesn't know about the Abnegation attacking Jeanine, but as our leader he must be planning something. I just hope it's not earlier than tomorrow; cause then our plan will be compromised.

* * *

I look down into the chasm. This is the exact spot where Tobias kissed me for the first time. Whenever I need to do some thinking, I come here. Besides him and me, almost no one knows about this place so it's always discreet, only the roar of water around me.

I hear footsteps behind me. "Tris." I turn around. Christina is slowly walking toward me, watching her every step on the wet and slippery rocks. "What are you doing?"

"Just… day dreaming." I smile at her. "You?"

"Yeah, same." She sits down next to me. "My mom called Max. Apparently my sister passed out in the middle of the road while walking home late from school. She almost got run over by a car. They saw her lying there in like the last second."

"Oh my god, is she okay?"

"Yeah. She said she had felt completely normal and then everything just went black. It sounds really weird."

It would to me too, if I didn't know what really happened.

"I'm so sorry. That must have been really scary for her." I bite my lip to stop myself for saying anything else. If I do I will slip and I can't do that to her. I can't put her in danger too.

"Thank you. I'm sure she would appreciate that."

I nod and look down at the rushing water. When a small wave hits the rocks the water plashes and cold drops land on our ankles.

"We're not actually supposed to be here," she says.

"Why not?"

"There was an attack at the other end of the pit earlier and Max wants everyone in our apartments.

"An attack?"

"Yeah, but I don't know much more. Anyway, Four wanted me to tell you that he's looking for you."

"Why?"

"Probably because of that. Anyway, you should go find him."

I nod and we get up. We climb across the small gaps and over the angular ridges. I'm used to it now so it's not as difficult as it was before. When we reach the top the pit is empty. I look at my watch. _7.38 pm._

"There you are." I look to my right and see Tobias. "I've been looking for you." He sounds irritated and his tired eyes scowl in my direction.

"Um, I'm gonna go," Christina says. "I'll see you guys later."

"Yeah okay," I say and smile. She disappears in one of the tunnels.

I look at Tobias. "It was a witness this time," he says.

"Who?"

"A girl. I don't know her name. She told Max and he couldn't lie again and tell everyone that it was food poisoning. So he ordered everyone to stay in their apartments for the rest of the night while they search the compound for intruders, but I honestly don't think that will do anything good."  
"Then how can you be out here?

"I had to find you."

"Why? You don't exactly seem so interested in talking to me?" I say dryly.

"That's because I've been looking for you for a while now. Where have you been?"

"I was down in the chasm. I didn't know what was happening up here?"

"Yeah well you can't just disappear for hours like that. Not now when…" His voice trails of and he looks away.

"I know."

He looks at me, and his eyes stay there. It's almost like he's trying to tell me something. I stare back at him, not really knowing what to say, or if I should.

Then he clears his throat and his eyes lowers. "Anyway we should go. We can't risk Max seeing us." For some reason it felt better to be trapped in his gaze, even if it was just for a few seconds.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

**Tobias**

"_Attention fellow dauntless members. Due to the recent incidents, everyone must proceed to his or her apartment. Guards will be ensuring every door in 15 minutes. If you're not in your apartment, you will be reported as missing. Please be precautious as you walk through the compound. Potential intruders might still be in our headquarters. Thank you."_

"How long do you think we're gonna have to stay there?" Tris says as we walk toward our apartments.

"I don't know. Could be to long."

"You really think they would keep us there until tomorrow?"

"It's possible."

"You know we'll have to sneak out right?"

I nod. "If we're not aloud out by the time we need to, then they're probably still searching the compound. We'll have to be careful."

We reach Tris' apartment. Before she opens the door, she turns to me.

"Do we have a plan? If we have to sneak out?"

"I'll come get you. Tomorrow 5 pm, if we're not out until then, I'll get you."

"How are you planning on doing that?"

"I'll figure something out."

She looks at me. I know Tris, and she has different ways of looking into your eyes. This time, it's like she does not trust the words you're giving her.

"And if you get caught?"

"I won't."

**Tris**

I watch Tobias leave and then I walk into my apartment, closing the door behind me.I have got a strange feeling about his words. Like they weren't real. It is possible he would lie. Maybe he sees this as an opportunity to go to Erudite without me. If that's the case, he's an idiot for thinking that I won't be able to get out of here too. No. I shake my head. I can't think like that.

I flinch when I hear a bashing on the door. Standing outside is a tall dark-skinned man, dressed in a guard uniform. "Tris Prior?" he says while looking down at his electronic device.

"Yes."

"Someone in here with you?"

I find the question strange. Everyone is supposed to be in their apartment. "No."

"Alright good." Still looking at the screen, he keys in a series of letters.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Clearing your name."

Before I get a chance to say anything else, he closes the door and I hear a click. When I try to open it, nothing happens. They're going to keep us on lock down.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep; cause when I open my eyes again the clock says 4.15 am.

I look around the apartment. It's dark and buried in shadows, shaped by the full moon outside my window. Has the lock down been cancelled? I carefully turn the doorknob. By my surprise, the door opens. As quietly as I can I walk down the hallway, my hand skimming the wall to keep my path straight. Soon I'm not just walking, I'm walking towards something. I hear faint voices at the end of the hallway. I creep closer to them, trusting the dark to keep me hidden.

"I still think we should have kept the lock down going?" Eric.

"Yeah well people we're getting suspicions. It's nighttime now so everyone is probably asleep anyway. No one will see what we're doing." Max.

"You sure about that?"

"You're never sure in Dauntless, but I don't see another solution for this."

They start walking further away, which makes their voices too small to hear.

I take a step forward to see where they're going, but then someone grabs me from behind and a hand claps over my mouth. Quickly he turns me around, up against the wall and puts his finger over my lips.

"Tobias! What are you doing?"

"Shhh!" He takes my wrist and pulls me away from the voices. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he says and looks over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I repeat.

"We need to leave now."

I notice a backpack on his shoulders, and a holster in his belt. "Now?"

"Yeah, before the first shift in the control room starts at 4.30." He starts walking.

"Tobias I heard something. Eric and Max."

He stops. "What'd they say?"

"Something about that people we're getting suspicious about the lock down so they had to end it, and that it was the best solution. Max said that no one would see what they're doing anyway since it's the middle of the night."

"Doing what?"

"I don't know. I lost them when you interrupted me."

"Yeah okay. Well we don't have time to think about that now. We have to go."

I grab his hand. "But we need to find out what they're up to."

"Tris, not now." He pulls back his hand and continues walking.

**Tobias**

She changes into her combat clothes. Before we leave I hand her a gun. It feels unfamiliar even though I've given her one countless of times during initiation. This time it's different. This time it will not be used for hitting a still target. We walk side by side through the hallways to the glass building doors. Neither of us says anything. I'm guessing there is too much to say, and none of us knows where to start. This could be an operation we won't come back from.

* * *

myself into one of the train cars as it passes and pull Tris with me. She falls against me, her cheek against my chest. The train picks up more speed and she grabs my hips to steady herself, and our eyes meet. She quickly lets go and looks away.

"Tris," I say. "We can't be like this right now."

"Like what?" she says and straightens.

"Like we're fighting without really fighting." She sighs. "Look, we're gonna disagree on a lot of things but right now we need to…"

My voice trails off when another figure pulls itself into the car. It's length and shoulders indicate that it's a he. "You weren't thinking of going without me were you?"

The early sunrise lids up the car and I can see his face. "Uriah." Tris says. "You can't be here."  
"Well I'm not going anywhere. I won't wait around while you two fight for your lives for something that we all are."

I nod. "Fine, but you answer to us alright? Don't do anything stupid."

"I would never." He sits down. "So, what's the plan? You're just gonna go there by yourself?"

"No," Tris says and sinks to he floor. I sit down a few feet away from her. "Two from Abnegation will come. We'll meet up with a few people from Erudite when we get there. Jeanine has enemies everywhere, even in her own faction."

"Wait?" Uriah raises his hand. "There's only five of us?"

I sigh. "We can't answer all you're questions Uriah, we don't have time for that."

He doesn't say anything else. I look at Tris. She's watching the city passing by outside the train car. I want to know what she's thinking, but I can't ask her and I hate that. I hate that there's this tension between us and that I don't even know how it got there in the first place. Ever since the conversation with Natalie and Marcus, something has been confusing me with the way I should be around her and what I should say to her. Almost like the last few months with her in my life are too blurry to remember.

I close my eyes, trying to stay calm while I still actually can.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	24. Chapter 24

**Sorry for any confusions. In my story, like the introduction says, the war Veronica writes about has not happened. But I didn't mean that another war wasn't going to happen either. But the way it looks now, a "war" is not certain. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Happy reading ^^ **

Chapter 24

**Tris**

When the train stops I open my eyes and it feels like hours has passed, though it's only been minutes. My back hurts from sitting still for too long. Tobias gives me his hand and helps me to my feet. "Thank you," I say. He nods.

"What is up with you two?" Uriah asks. I had forgotten he was with us.

"Nothing." Tobias says. "Let's go." He jumps out of the car.

"Is that your answer too?" Uriah looks at me, raising his eyebrows.

I shrug. "Honestly, I don't know."

* * *

We're about a mile away from Erudite headquarters. Flashbacks from when I visited Caleb take me away for a few seconds. It feels like ages ago when we were sitting at home with our parents, having a normal quiet dinner just the four of us.

"Tris." Tobias touches my arm. "They're here."

I look up and see my mom and Marcus walking toward us. But there's someone else with them. My father.

"Beatrice." He says and embraces me. I pull away and he studies me. "Your mother was right. You look so much older and stronger."

Words are not enough, so I just smile at him. "I've missed that," he says and tugs my hair behind my ear, just like he used to when I was little.

"Who's this?" My mom asks and nods towards Uriah. Though her voice is strained, she's still smiling.

"I'm Uriah," he says and extends his hand.

Mom looks at me. "Tris?"

"He's divergent too and he wants to help."

At first, no one says anything. Then Marcus speaks; "Well, one more won't make a difference. And he's Dauntless which means he has skills."

Uriah straightens. "Yes sir, I do."

A hear a faint laugh coming from Tobias. Marcus scowls at him, but he doesn't say anything. "Alright then. Let's move."

* * *

Two hours left. While waiting, we stay in an abandoned house near the train tracks. It's not within any faction zone, so it's just common areas. The house seems like a normal family home, two floors, and three bedrooms. We're all gathered around a table in, what I think used to be, the kitchen. On it, Marcus places a map of Erudite headquarters and circles one of the buildings. "There. That's where Jeanine will be when you get to Erudite."

* * *

When we're finished going over tactics, mom takes my hand: "You three should get some rest. There's a couple of hours left before you have to leave."

"There are cameras all over Erudite headquarters and we managed to hack them," Marcus says and points to a computer standing in the corner of the room. "So we'll be able to monitor you from a computer we have here."

A smile spreads across Uriah's face. "Advanced stuff you have." No one answers; they just look at him strangely. "Um, only joking." Nervously he puts his hands into his pocket and looks away, like he just did something terribly wrong. I try not to smile.

* * *

Tobias and Uriah goes through the plan again, strategies and tactics. I feel like my head would explode if I keep thinking about what we're about to do. I slip away from them, with the intention of getting some alone time.

* * *

I walk outside to get some fresh air. The sun is still rising over the city's skyline and a thin layer of fog is sailing over the open field. The only thing still growing there is lavender. I only know their name because it's my mom's favorite. She told me once that she love gardening, but asked me to keep it a secret. At the time I didn't understand why, but now I know that since she was Abnegation she couldn't do anything just because she wanted to and enjoyed doing it. The sun is just beneath the skyline and within minutes the sunbeams will reach the lavenders. Its purple color will make them glimmer in the green surroundings.

My eyes catch a latter leading up to the rooftop. Without looking if someone's watching, I walk up to it and start climbing. When I reach the top, I'm overwhelmed by the view. I can see further than I expected. I can see the Hancock Building where we zip lined, Candor headquarters and if I strain my eyes I can even see the Ferris wheel I climbed with Tobias. From here the city seems so big, bigger than any of us can handle. In a way that's comforting, because it means that your only choice is to deal with the things right in front of you.

"Tris?"

His voice surprises me and I turn around so fast that I loose my balance. He grabs my waist to keep me from falling and my eyes meet his.

"Tobias, you just scared me."

He lets me go. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

His gaze doesn't leave mine. "You're not fine."

I love that. I love that no matter what's going on between us he always knows how I'm feeling. But I still can't tell him that. "Well considering what we're about to do, does it surprise you that I'm not?" I shake my head. "I don't know Tobias, I don't know what I'm feeling." I turn to the view again, hoping that it will drag me with it into its stillness. Tobias stands next to me. I'm not sure what to say to him.

"So, about our conversation on the train." I knew he would bring this up. "I meant what I said. We can't keep doing this."

I know what he means, but I still ask. "Do what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

I shrug. "I guess."

"Are you upset with me or something?"

"No I'm not. I'm just…"

He presses his hand to my cheek "You can tell me."

Tears fill my eyes and a sob escapes my mouth. I don't remember feeling the need to cry, but now I can't stop it. Tobias puts his arms around my shoulders and presses me against his chest. Right now I don't care about this tension between us. I don't want anything between us. Not even thin air. I pull away and we look into each other's eyes and I forget about everything. The rest of the world disappears and it's just him and me. I stand on my toes and lean in closer, inhaling the scent from his shirt. He fits his hand to the arch of my back, bringing me even closer. I put my arms around his neck and press my lips gently to his. I want to stay here. I don't want to go and risk not being able to see him ever again, or Christina, or my family. I just want to stay here, where nothing can reach me.

"I love you, you know," he says. I pull away. "Even though we've been a little distant from each other these past few days, I still love you just as much. You know that right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Do you, still, love me?"

I nod. "Of course."

"Then we'll be okay. We'll stop Jeanine and everything will go back to normal."

"I don't even know what normal is anymore."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

**Tris**

I don't remember falling asleep. Just lying next to Tobias on the roof, looking up at the sky. When I open my eyes he's gone. I sit up. The sun is still rising but the sailing fog has disappeared. I look at my watch, 5.55. We have to leave soon.

I climb down the latter and walk back into the house. My mom and Marcus are standing buy the computers. On the screen I can see Erudite headquarters, and inside their labs.

One of them overlooks Jeanine's office, but she isn't there. Uriah is lying on a dusty old couch, with his eyes closed. I'm guessing he's asleep. I don't see Tobias anywhere."Mom?**"** I walk over to them. "Where's um, Four?"

"Honey, you can say Tobias in front of me. I know that's what you call him now."

"Yeah but Uriah doesn't." She nods. "Anyway, where is he?"

"I don't know, I thought he was with you." She looks at Uriah. "You need to leave in about 20 minutes. You should go find him. He can't be far away right?" She smiles and then turns to the screens again. I walk across the room and kick the couch Uriah's laying on.

He sits up fast. "What, what?"

"Have you seen Four? Do you know where he went?"

"I don't, sorry. When are we leaving?"

"In 20 minutes. So you shouldn't fall asleep again."

He rubs his eyes and yawns. "Okay I won't." He says and stands up. "C'mon, let's go find him."

"You don't have to come with me."

"Yeah well, I want to. Otherwise I'll probably just fall asleep again."

I laugh a little. "I guess that's true."

Seconds later, Tobias walks through the door.

"Hey buddy," Uriah says. "We were just about to go look for you."  
I walk over to him. "Where were you?"

"I just went for a walk. Clearing my head."

Uriah stands next to me. "From what?" I say.

"Everything, and nothing." He smiles. "Did I worry you?"

"No," I lie. Honestly, considering the way things are looking, I wouldn't be surprised if he went and did something he shouldn't do.

* * *

"Okay youngsters," Marcus says. "Let's get you suited up and prepared to go."

Uriah is the first one to get his uniform.

"Are you okay?" I ask Tobias while Uriah steps into a pair of blue pants. "I mean, are you okay with doing this?"

"Yeah of course. Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know."

Uriah frowns when he looks at himself in the dirty mirror next to one of the windows. "I do not look good in blue. God, what kind of jacket is this?"

My mom smiles. "It's a blazer."

"Erudite wear this everyday?"

"They do, yes," Marcus says.

"God I feel sorry for them."

Tobias pats him on the back. "Yeah well, luckily you'll only have to wear it this one time."

Marcus gives Tobias a long blue coat, a shirt and a pair of dark blue pants. They don't even look at each other. My mom gives me a blouse and a pair of blue pants. "A skirt won't be so smooth when you're in there so…" She smiles. "Honey, I'm proud of you. You've grown into the strong woman I always knew you would become."

"I love you mom."

She wraps her arms around me. "I love you too. Now go and get dressed okay, there's a bathroom in the other room."

"Okay."

* * *

With 10 minutes left, someone knocks on the door. Marcus slowly grabs one of the guns from the table. They know. It's Erudite and they know we're coming. They're here to kill us. "You can lower your gun Marcus," Tobias says and walks over to the door.

"Four don't," I say, too late.

He opens the door, but I don't see any blue blazers or weapons. Only familiar faces, and they're smiling. Christina, Will, Zeke, Shauna, Lynn and Marlene.

"Oh my god, what are you guys doing here?" I say.

"We're here to help," Christina says and wraps her arms around my shoulders.

Zeke pats his brother on the back. "You thought we'd just let you go there alone?"

"We do not have time to prep you all!" Marcus says angrily.

My mother softly lays her hand on his shoulder and smiles. "Of course we do. If you all would just come and get properly dressed I'm sure we'll make it in time. Uriah would you help us?"

"Sure thing," Uriah says. I can tell that he feels really good about having his friends around him. They all go into the kitchen, leaving only Tobias and me.

"You didn't just go for a walk did you?" I say.

He takes my hand and pulls me closer to him. "No, I didn't." He slides his hand over my cheek, one finger anchored behind my ear.

"How did you explain this to them? I can imagine that I wasn't so easy."

He smiles. "Yeah I'll admit it was trickier than I thought it would be. But you know, they're all dauntless. They train everyday for things like this, and I thought why not bring in some extra help."

"You think it'll work, considering Erudite not associating in larger groups."

"I don't know. I hope so. We'll have to split up that's for sure."

I hear laughter from the kitchen. It sounds like Zeke. I wish I could be laughing right now, like nothing is wrong.

"Tris?" Tobias strokes my arm. "You just went somewhere, just now."

I shake my head. "I'm just… thinking about it."

"Yeah," he says, a faint smile tugging in the corner of his mouth. "I understand."

* * *

We all gather outside the house. Everyone except my mother and Marcus are wearing blue. It's an unfamiliar sight so it doesn't really feel real. A truck is parked in front of us. It's what will take us to Erudite.

"Okay so," Marcus says to gets every ones attention. "You'll be meeting up with three from Erudite just outside their sector. I've informed the rest of our insiders where they need to be at the right time."

"How will we recognize them?" Lynn asks.

"You won't. They need to blend in just as much as you."

"They'll meet you outside," my mother says. "We'll be able to keep contact with you through your earphones, making sure you don't come across the wrong person."

"Jeanine," Uriah says. Zeke glares at him. "What, I only said what you all were thinking."

Marcus claps his hands together. "Okay, time to go."

Lynn and Marlene are the first ones to get into the truck. Zeke goes next, pulling Shauna with him. Uriah rolls his eyes. "Love birds. I hate them."

Christina laughs and takes his hand. "You'll find love Uriah, just wait." She smiles and looks at Will. When everyone's inside Tobias closes the door.

He takes my hand. "You ready?"

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

**Tobias**

All I can do is track the time as I drive the truck to Erudite headquarters. 11 minutes, I can see the Hub. 6 minutes, I can see the Upper levels school. 3 minutes, I can see…

"There it is," Tris says next to me. You recognize Erudite headquarters from a far. Their tall glass buildings with lights on every minute of every day, their large stone buildings where they live, the library. Even closer, you can spot the Millennium.

"Okay, we're here," I shout to the others in the back.

I park the truck at a reasonable walking distance from the entrance. Just outside by the train tracks there are three men dressed in blue, waiting for us. Just like Natalie said.

I haven't made it seem like it, but I'm scared. No not scared, more worried. I have this strange feeling and I can't shake it of. I hope it is just nerves.

* * *

I shake hands with one of the Erudite men. "Four," I say and shake it twice. It still fells abnormal.

"John," he says. "John Fields."

I'd rather not say my last name; I know it will make them see me in a different way.

"You are a bigger group than Mrs. Prior told me you would be."

I nod. "Yes well I thought we could need some more help if something goes wrong."

"Works for me," John says. "We'll have to split up into three groups in there. Myself, Adrian and Benji will divide separately. You guys can figure out how you want to do."

"Should we just leave the truck here?" Says Uriah.

"Yes," I say. "We need it when we're done." As the last word escapes my mouth, I immediately regret it. What exactly will we be _done_ with? Killing Jeanine? Arresting her?

I try to ignore the strange looks and continue. "Okay, let's go."

* * *

I walk next to John as we pass the Millennium. I look back at Tris. She smiles, but I can tell that it's forced. When we came inside the sector, our groups went separate ways. We'll see them later, where we decided to meet. I look at my watch, two hours left. We sit down at a table outside the library. At the other tables there are people buried in books and papers. That's all they seem to do here, study, researching. You can tell that winter will be here in a couple of months. The air is colder than it was last week. That's easy to tell when you're outside the Dauntless' tunnels.

"So," Tris says. "What profession do you study John?" I look at her. She's not interested, she's curious.

"Sociology, mostly," he says. He carefully looks over his shoulder, and then he lowers his voice. "That's how found out about Jeanine's plans. I went into one of our labs after hours because I wanted to do some test on a project I was working on. However, when I got there someone was using the lab. It was Jeanine and few others. I thought it was strange because she usually doesn't do labs herself, so I stayed and watched them. I saw the word _Divergent _on one of the screens and I became even more curious. I had heard that Jeanine was strongly against them." I stiffen. I wonder if she influenced the Erudite on hating Divergents too, and what they are prepared do to if they find them, us. John continues: "I left that corridor one hour later, with the information that Jeanine was planning on killing every Divergent in the city. It wasn't until a few weeks later, I found out she was targeting Abnegation too. I wasn't sure, but there were signs, plus all the articles she wrote. I knew she was planning something big, so I started collecting proof. Mostly photos. Then I told Adrian and Benji."

I look at Tris. Her look is rigid, heated. "How did you get in contact with Natalie and Marcus?" she says.

"I didn't. They reached out to us. I don't know how they knew about the information we had on her."

"Let's just say they have eyes on the inside," I say.

"Your turn," John says. "How did you two and your friends end up where you are? This is a seriously dangerous mission. I can't imagine you're here on your own will. "

"We are," Tris says.

At first he doesn't respond, but then he smiles and says: "Oh, I get it. You're Dauntless."

"I guess it doesn't take an Erudite to figure that out," she says.

John chuckles. "I guess that's fare."

**Tris**

For some reason Erudite feels different from when I went to see Caleb during initiation. There's something about the people. I'm guessing it has something to do with what I'm wearing. For them, I'm Erudite. I am one of them. They don't see me as an intruder. It feels strange, to be among them. Since I was little my dad has always disliked them and that had an impact on me. But really I was never too fond with Erudite myself, despite my dads spiteful rants about Jeanine and everything else he hates about them. I just never understood how their minds worked, let alone that they can use it against the other factions. That was an important life lesson I learned somewhere along the way.

"I'll be right back," Tobias says, standing up. My thoughts drift away and I look up at him. Before I get chance to say anything he turns and walks away. I look at John.

He nods. "Go."

I didn't say anything, but something about him tells me he's good at reading people.

I follow Tobias, but I keep my distance. He doesn't go very far. He stops around a hidden corner further down the street, where no one from the square can see him. I think about turning around and leaving him alone, but my feet moves toward him. "Tobias?" I say and stop a few feet away from him.

He doesn't look at me. "I'm sorry." He lowers his eyes. "I just needed to get away from the crowd."

"Why?" I say and take a few steps closer.

Finally his eyes meet mine. "I have a strange feeling about this."

I try to smile. "I think we all do."

"No," he says. "Not like that."

I frown. "Then, like what?"

"Like…" he pauses and looks down at his clothes. I can tell he's uncomfortable in them. "You know what," he says and shakes his head. "Never mind. I think it's just really getting to me, what we're about to do."

"Are you sure?" I say, leaning against the stonewall, not fully convinced

"I'm sure." He smiles and reaches for my hand. "Come here."

We stay there for a while without speaking to each other. It's nice, not having to make an effort talking. With him, silence is never disturbing. "We should go back," I say.

"Why?"

I laugh a little. "John's probably getting worried we bailed on him."

"I guess."

* * *

"It's time."

"For what exactly?" I say.

"We need to move. In 15 minutes it's lunchtime for the lab workers. Then it will just be Jeanine and her so called guards up there. We may have to take them down."

Tobias furrows his eyebrows. "What do you mean _take them down_?"

"Exactly what you're thinking," he replies. He isn't smiling, but he isn't brooding either. I wonder what he really thinks about this.

* * *

We walk with the moving crowd toward the library. That's where the members who aren't in school go at this time. There they read books and do research. Every member has to be there, it's a rule. I'm guessing they have to know where everyone is when the lab is empty. Otherwise people will just sneak up there and do their own lab work, which is forbidden. John said that if you would want permission for using a lab you need to book one. Our plan is to sneak up there just by the time the library lockdown is over.

On our way there, I see Christina through the thick crowd. I would call her name, but considering where we are I can't. I take a deep breath and focus on the movement of the mass instead. Tobias laces his fingers with mine as we walk through the library doors. He moves his thumb in a slow circle over the back of my hand and it calms me a little. I look up at the giant portrait of Jeanine. The secretive smile spreads across her face. I feel like her watery grey eyes are laughing at me and I try to ignore the rushing heat spreading through my body at the sight of her. John leads us to a corner of the library, remote from the loud crowd of Erudite members. Here they don't try to hide their loudness, like they do among the other factions. In about 30 minutes we have to leave the library and then, it will be no going back.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

**Tobias**

A shrilling noise keeps vibrating in my rib cage. Confused I look around to see where it's coming from. No one else seems to be paying attention to it. How can they not? It's highly disturbing. I look at Tris. Her eyes are closed, but I can tell she's not sleeping. How can she rest when there's such an unpleasant noise filling the library?

"You alright, Four?" John says and taps my shoulder. The ringing, I then realize, is in my ears.

"Um…" He's smiling, but he's looking at me in a pitying way, his eyebrows slightly pulled together in the middle and his head tilted. "I'm fine," I say irritably. I don't need his pity. I _am_ fine.

"It's okay if you're not, you know."

"Well I am."

He shrugs. "Alright."

A speaker squeaks loudly above my head. "_Thank you my fellow faction members. You can now return to your work space._" That's Jeanine's voice.

John nods at me and we get up. The crowd shatters in different directions.

"We need to be fast," John says next to me. "The lab workers won't be back for a while but someone has probably booked one."

"I saw the list for booked labs," Tris says. "The next one is in 30 minutes so we have time."

John seems impressed when he looks at her. "Okay good." He tries to sound casual but I can tell that she stunned him. Tris usually has the ability to think a step ahead. I look over my shoulder to see if the rest of us are moving towards the stairs. The moving crowd makes it hard to find their faces. Just then I catch Zeke's eyes from across the room and he gestures me to continue forward. Then someone forcibly shoulder me aside and he disappears in the cluster. I turn around and trust that everyone will reach the stair on their own. A moving Erudite swarm in a hurry is not easy to wrestle through.

As smoothly as we can we sneak up the stair. When we pass the second corner, we wait for the others. It doesn't take very long. Adrian and Benji are half walking half running up the stair. Behind them are Christina, Will, Zeke and Shauna.

"Where's Uriah? And Marlene, and Lynn?" I ask Zeke.

"I don't know. I didn't see them down there."

I look at Benji. "They were with you."

He shrugs. "I sort of lost them after Jeanine's message. I thought they were behind me."

"We can't wait for them," Adrian says. "Hopefully they're smart enough to realize they were to slow and that it's too late now to come with us."

"That's my little sister you're talking about," Shauna says and lowers at Adrian.

"I'm sorry," he says. "But that's just the way it has to be. They'll be alright as long as they act as Erudites."

"We have to move," John says. He loads his gun and gestures us to follow him. I roll my eyes. For some reason I feel like he's enjoying this, like it's some kind of a thrilling mission we're about to do. Some people would call that being inventive. I would call it being reckless.

* * *

Tris walks next to me, and John in front us. We all walk quietly with our guns ready.

Eventually we reach a door that says: "_Labs._"

"Okay," John says. "Behind this wall is a corridor. They're about seven doors leading into different labs. To get to Jeanine's office you have to go to the very end of it and take a left. To the right is a storage room. There will be guards outside her door, and probably inside as well. As I said to Four and Tris before, we'll have to take them down if they act against us, which they will."

I clear my throat. "I think someone from Dauntless should take the lead from here, you know, for safety reasons."

"I agree," Zeke says.

John looks at the others. No one objects. "Okay fine. Who?" Without hesitation everyone turns to me. In this moment, I can feel the pressure. They're relying on me now. "Okay," I say. "Here's what we're gonna do."

* * *

**Tris**

John disables the alarm on the lab door. I walk in first, Tobias close behind me. John holds up the door for Shauna and Zeke, and then he shuts it behind himself. There are five of us now. The others will stand guard outside and make sure no one gets in here.

"Okay, let's go," John says and slowly starts walking down the corridor.

Tobias leans in to me. "You ready?" he says quietly.

"I think so."

He smiles, takes my hand and kisses my temple. I close my eyes and count to three.

_One_, his scent fills my lungs. _Two_, his lips sends a deep ache through my body. _Three_, I love you. Then he lets me go.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

**Tris**

I don't look back. I couldn't possibly. I walk in front of the others, my gun loaded and ready in my hand. When we finally turn left around the corner, I can see Jeanine's door. I don't recognize it even though I've been in there before. It's strange, but it's even stranger that my mind isn't focused on what we're about to do. The door is wider than a normal door, and it's blue, of course. The letters _JM _are carved into its rigid surface. Probably bulletproof too. I stop in the middle of a step. Just above the door seal a hidden camera meets my eye, and it's not disabled. "John," I say as calmly as I can. "Did you disable all the cameras too?" I look back at him.

He frowns. "Yes, why?"

I nod toward the hidden camera and his eyes widen. "Apparently not all," he says.

"We need to move," Tobias says. With astonishing force he kicks in the door. The impact makes him stumble a few feet backwards, but he regains his balance immediately. We rapidly enter the office and I don't know why I'm surprised by what I see. Jeanine's desk chair is slowly spinning, the lights are still on and the atmosphere is strangely cold. She knew we were coming, she saw us on the security footage.

"She can't be far away," John says. "There's another way in here, behind that bookshelf. See, it's not properly placed. She must have just left." He walks over the bookshelf and uses all his strength to move it. It's clearly too heavy for him. "Some help would be nice?" he says and glares at us.

"Wait," Tobias says. "Something's not right. Jeanine could have killed us if she knew we were coming. So why didn't she? Why did she run?"

"I don't care okay. We need to follow her," John says and pushes the shelf even harder. This time it moves a little.

"Jeanine couldn't possibly move that bookshelf by her self," I say. "Someone else was in here and they could be waiting for us on the other side. "

"True, but whether that's the case or not, we need to move this bookshelf. Now, could someone help me?"

Together we push the bookshelf aside. After a few powerful pushes it reveals a small crevice that's big enough for us to go through.

"I'll go first," I say, but Tobias stops me.

"No, I'll go."

I probably should, but I don't object. "Fine."

I slip through the crevice after Tobias, with John, Zeke and Shauna right behind me. Behind the bookshelf is another corridor, but this one is smaller, more like a tunnel. Its width is only wide enough for one person, so we walk in a line, Tobias first. He stops abruptly and I smack into him, hitting my nose on his shoulder. I stumble back and rub my nose as I recover my balance. He holds up his left hand as a gesture telling us not to speak. I hear distant voices and I strain my ears to make up what they're saying.

"What do we do?" A male voice says. It sounds familiar.

"I don't know," a female voice answers, but it's not Jeanine.

Tobias starts moving and when he turns at the next corner his facial expression changes instantly. "What are you doing in here?" he says. The question isn't for a stranger.

Inquisitively I peek around the corner to see who's standing there. I see three familiar faces and I exhale with relief. Uriah, Marlene and Lynn are standing in a huddle a few feet away.

"Four! Tris!" Lynn shouts and stride toward us. Then she sees her sister and we are no longer important.

"I'm sorry we lost you guys," Tobias says and pats Uriah's shoulder.

He smiles. "That's alright."

"How did you end up in this tunnel," John says and his secretly impressed look is back.

"Well, we found a hidden door by the stairs so we thought why not check it out?"

"That was very stupid of you," Zeke says.

"We found you guys didn't we?" Marlene says and touches his arm with her elbow.

Even though it's a lovely reunion, we have to focus. "So that means you didn't see Jeanine?" I say.

"No, why would've we?"

"We think she escaped through this tunnel when she saw us on the security footage," Tobias says. "She must have. There's not another way."

Then unexpectedly something crackles in my ear, and in the others too apparently. Just then it hits me that my mom and Marcus hasn't checked in with us once since we left them. A voice speaks to us through the earphones. "Hello?" My mother. "Can you hear me?"

"We can hear you," I reply.

Then she says something none of us were expecting. "_We've got Jeanine_."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

**Tobias**

It all went so fast. We never thought Marcus and Natalie would follow us here. They said it themselves they would be recognized. We stand together outside Erudites headquarters and watch Jeanine get taken away by Marcus and one of his men.

"This is not the end," she screams and struggles to escape their grip. They shove her into a car and they drive away. Just like that.

"What now?" Tris asks Natalie.

"Now," she says and smiles a little. "We wait until Jeanine's trial tomorrow."

"What do we do?" Zeke says.

"You did everything right in there. We just underestimated how smart Jeanine really is. You can go back to Dauntless if you want to, or stay in the surveillance house. What's important is that you're all in court tomorrow, 10am don't forget." Then she leaves.

Her words echoes in my head; "We just underestimated how smart Jeanine really is."

* * *

Before we leave we say goodbye to John, Adrian and Benji.

"Well," John says. "It was nice to meet you all, despite the circumstances."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about the whole, losing you guys thing," Benji says.

"It's forgotten," Lynn says and pats him on the shoulder.

"Well," I cross my arms in front of me. "We should get going. We'll see you tomorrow in court."

"Yes absolutely," John answers and looks down at his feet. Normally that would be a sign of a lie being told, but I'm sensing John is a man who doesn't lie, so why the nervous act?

* * *

We all decide to back to Dauntless. Staying here would feel too strange.

We don't say much to each other on our way back to the truck that is parked about a mile from the Erudite compound. Marcus and Natalie went with Jeanine to jail where she'll be waiting until the trial. The most important source tomorrow is John. Without him and his photos there will be no evidence suggesting that Jeanine was planning what we're accusing her of. All of us know exactly what her plans were, but that wouldn't be enough, and as far as I know, the photos are all we have.

* * *

When everyone is in the truck I close the door. I look back at Tris. "You coming?"

"I'm not going back to Dauntless," she says. "It doesn't feel right to just leave."

"We'll be back tomorrow," I say frowning. "It's just over night."

"I know." She bites the inside of her cheek, like she always does when she's either nervous or lying.

"What's this really about Tris?"

"Nothing, I just… I just don't wanna go home."

"Why?"

She sighs. "Can we not talk about it? I will see you tomorrow."

"No. Then I'll stay too."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't have to, I want to."

She shakes her head. "Tobias I need some time for myself. I will just see you tomorrow."

I don't want to argue again, so when she turns around and starts walking, I don't stop her.

Christina looks out from the truck. "Where's she going?"

"To the surveillance house," I say.

"Wait, why?"

I don't answer I just shake my head and shrug. I get into the driver seat and look in the rearview mirror as we drive away. It doesn't feel right to leave her alone, even though I know she can take perfectly good care of herself.

**Tris**

She door squeaks when I push it open. I didn't notice that when we left this morning. The sun is drowning in the horizon; it's weak sunbeams painting the sky orange and pink. I've always admired the sunset and I used to love sitting on our rooftop when I was little, watching the last ray of light fade away. In Dauntless you might not see the sun for days sometimes so when you do it easy to maximize it. I know I do, every time.

The floorboards squeak too. I walk up the stairs. There's not a lot of furniture in the rooms so I decide to sleep on the couch downstairs. As soon as the sun has disappeared it's pitch black in the house. I regret not looking for a flashlight or candles while my vision was still useful. I wait in the dark until my eyes have adjusted and I at least can see edges. Carefully I stumble through what I'm pretty sure is the kitchen door, where my mom and Marcus kept their surveillance equipment. They might have left something behind that I could use as a light source. I open a broken cabinet door and terrified I stumble backwards as a mouse spurt out, touching my hand, and I have to steady myself on one of the rusty metal chairs. I laugh a little and shake my head. "I give up." I decide to go to sleep right away.

* * *

I'm awake. The front door is stood wide open and I can hear rustling leafs in the wind. I can also hear heavy breaths, but they aren't mine. I would recognize my own breaths. I blink a few times to make my newly awakened sight less blurry. Before I can see anything else than a black silhouette, something cold and soft covers my eyes, some sort of cloth. Four hands clamp to my arms and lift me up from the couch. I try to scream but nothing comes out. Flashbacks from initiations appear in the corner of my mind, and I think "Not again. Please not again."

"Wow Stiff, you're not even struggling."

Yes I am. I thrash, but nothing happens.

"Pathetic," the voice says and laughs. His laugh is familiar. "Let's go," the voice says.

The four hands holding me start dragging me across the floor. The voice laughs again and this time I realized who it is. Peter.

I open my eyes and I scream into empty air. Startled, I let my eyes wander across the room, but there's no one here. I wipe my sweaty palms against the blanket and I stand up. My legs and arms are shaking. I didn't realize I still had those intense nightmares. And Peter? That makes so sense. He doesn't scare me anymore. He's not even a threat.

Going back to sleep now doesn't feel like an option, so I walk outside. The sunrise has begun and I feel relieved that I'm no longer surrounded by darkness. I climb the same latter I did yesterday up to the roof. I sit on the edge for a while. I watch the large glowing sphere rise slowly into the dull morning sky. It casts sunbeams in every direction, illuminating the field with the purple lavender and the city's skyline. Their color amplifies by the touch and it's beautiful. I find it almost overwhelming. But as beautiful as this morning may be, I still know that this day will be awful.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

**Tris**

I walk up the front steps and push the door to the Hub open. Each faction has their own court, but for safety reasons and the fact that this is a secret trial, this one will be held here, where no one would suspect anything. The large clock up on the wall says 9.45pm. I file into the elevator with two boys; both dressed in blue from top to bottom. One of them reminds me a lot of some one I used to know in Abnegation. Michael was his name. I try to get a good glimpse at him without staring too much, but it's hard. The elevator zooms upward and he presses his hand to his stomach and says something to his friend. Then they both look at me and I quickly force my eyes to move to the wall.

"I'm sorry, but can I ask you something?" he says.

His question surprises me and it takes me a few seconds to answer. "Um, sure."

"It's rather personal, but did you transfer from Abnegation this year?"

"Yeah I did."

He smiles a little. "Me too. I don't think you recognize me but my name is Michael. I lived on the same street as your family."

"Yes, I know who you are. I thought you looked familiar." I force a smile.

"Hi," his friend says and extends his hand. "I'm Carl." Awkwardly I take it and shake it twice. "Nice to meet you."

"Tris," I say. "Nice to meet you." Michael's eyes move to mine. His look is skeptical. He remembers me as Beatrice, not Tris.

"So why are you here?" Carl says. I stiffen. I can't tell them that, and even if I could I wouldn't. I'm here to testify against their faction representative and leader. How would they respond to that? I bite the inside of my cheek. "Um, just meeting a friend," I lie.

"Here?"

I should act casual. "Yeah," I say and lean back, pressing my shoulders to the wall. Nervously I look at the sign above the doors. We're on the 14th floor, and I'm getting of at the 20th, the same floor where the choosing ceremony is held every year.

Carl laughs. "I remember this girl asking me on a date up on this roof. It took me a while to agree on that one. This building is insanely tall."

"It is," I say and try to smile. Who would share such a story with someone they just met and they will probably never see again?

The 16th. What will I do if they get of at the same floor as me? "Would you press stop for us?" Michael says. "We're getting of at the 17th floor."

"Of course." With relief I press the stop button and move back to let them through.

The elevator stops and the doors open. Behind them is a corridor crowded with more people from Erudite. The sight of them makes me even more nervous. Why are there so many Erudite here today?

"Well it was nice to see you again… Tris, was it?" Michael says.

"Yes, you too." They wave a good-bye and the doors close.

* * *

This time when the doors open, I see my friends, John, Benji and Adrian, my mom, Marcus and Tobias. There is more people here too but I don't know who they are or why they're here. Some of them are sitting down on benches and others are standing in small circles. Further down the hallway there is a door that I imagine leads into the courtroom, our temporarily courtroom.

Christina walks up to me. "Hey."

"Hey."

"So…? Why didn't you come with us yesterday?"

"I just, needed some time alone."

"Are you okay?" she says and takes my hands in hers.

I smile. "Yeah I'm fine." She gives me a sarcastic suspicions look. "I promise," I say, as convincingly as I can.

"Good."

I look over her shoulder and my eyes meet Tobias' who is walking towards us. He rests his hand on my shoulder. "Can I borrow you for a while?"

"She's all yours," Christina says and lets go of my hands. She winks at us and walks back to the others.

Tobias and I walk further down the hallway. "Hi," I say when we stop.

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "Hi," he says against my cheek. He pulls back. "You okay? You look tired."

"Yeah, well I didn't get much sleep."

"Nightmare?"

I frown and look at him. "Why would you say that?"

"Because I know you."

"So how did you sleep?" I ask to change the subject.

"Okay, I guess. I missed you though." I want to tell him I missed _him _too, that I miss him all the time, even when he's right next to me. I lean forward to kiss him so that I won't have to say anything else but I stop when I hear my mother's voice.

"Beatrice, come on it is time to go inside."

Tobias sighs. "We can do this later."

* * *

The room is just like the choosing ceremony, arranged in concentric circles. Christina and Will walk over to the third front row to the left and Tobias and I take our seats in the back. The others spread out and my mother and Marcus sit down in the front. I don't recognize the bailiff, but he's definitely not from Erudite.

"Which faction's he from?" I ask Tobias and beckons toward the bailiff.

"I think he's candor."

That makes sense. Their values are honesty and order so I'm guessing people would believe they're most fit to judge.

"All rise," the Bailiff says, and we do. "The Hub Classified Court is now is session. Honorable judge Jack is presiding." A door opens and the judge, Jack, enters the courtroom and stands by the podium. "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Calling the case of the People of the City of Chicago versus Jeanine Matthews. Bring the defendant in please?"

The door opens again and a man walks out, holding a woman in the arm, Jeanine. She looks awfully beaten down after being locked up for less than 24 hours. The bags under her eyes are massive and hair is frizzy. It's odd to see her like this, especially when she always make sure to look like perfection. Her eyes don't move from the floor as the man escorting her gestures her to sit down in the front.

"If you would all stand and raise your right hand," Jack says, "_Do each of you solemnly swear or affirm that you will truly listen to this case and render a true verdict and a fair sentence as to this defendant?"_

In chorus we answer: "I do."

"You may be seated."

* * *

During the ten-minute break Christina and I go to the bathrooms. I haven't spoken much to her since the night in the chasm.

"You think she'll be convicted?" Christina asks me as she puts another layer of mascara on her already long lashes.

"I hope so, but who knows." I remember my father telling me when I was little that the City's rules aren't always as strict for our leaders as they are for us, the citizens. Sometimes they might get a free pass on breaking the law.

"If she isn't, we're seriously doomed," Christina says and puts the mascara in her small black shoulder bag. "She's going to come after us."

"Maybe she doesn't know we're the ones who took her," I say.

Christina looks at her reflection in the mirror. "It's still scary."

"Yeah."

"So," she says. "Do you think my right cheek is bigger than the left one?"

I look at her and I realize she's full on serious. I burst into laughter. "What?"

"What? It is!" she says. "It's not funny."

She looks at me. "I'm serious, look." She points at her right cheek. "It's totally bigger."

"It's not," I say and brush away a strand of hair from my face. "Your crazy weird sometimes you know that?"

"That might be true." She takes my hand and we laugh together. "Come on let's go."

* * *

When we open the bathroom door, we hear a loud and angry voice. "What do you mean _I can't_?"

"That's Four," I say to Christina and yes I am right. Further down the hallway Tobias is talking to John. We walk toward them.

"What's going on?" I say.

Tobias let's out a frustrated noise. "John here says he's not gonna display his evidence in the trial."

"I'm sorry," John says. "But it doesn't feel right. I'm betraying my faction."

"John your pictures is the only proof we have," Christina says. "We need them."

"We need you," I say.

"If I show them they'll know I've been snooping around after hours and I can be punished for that. I can get kicked out. Factionless."

"That's not really our problem," Tobias says. "Right now, we have to focus on not letting Jeanine kill innocent people. Which she will if she walks out of here today, guilt free."

"John listen to me," I say. "I know you feel like you're betraying your faction, but that's not true. You're helping them by making sure that they have an honest and reliable leader. Isn't that what you really want for them?"

He looks at me, and it's like he's a different person today. He looks weak and small, and scared. "I guess," he says.

"Then that's all you'll have to do and we'll be by your side. Okay?"

He nods. "Okay."

* * *

"I did something that I wasn't allowed to, but I did it for the safety of my faction. I photographed the defendants meetings and I figured out her plan."

The pictures are shown on a screen next to judge Jack. They show Jeanine and her associates in the Erudite labs. On their screens there are maps of the Abnegation sector, maps of places I don't recognize, list of names I can't relate with faces. There is a photographed document as well that shows us procedures and techniques for Jeanine's planned attacks. This is unquestionably enough evidence to convict her.

Whispers in the court rise as the last picture is shown. It's a screen exposing Jeanine's plans once and for all. I shiver as I read the words: "_Kill all Divergents and destroy Abnegation."_

It's over. I lean back and I try to let myself relax but something loud makes me open my eyes again. Something sudden. His grip is strong when Tobias drags me down with him to the floor and we flatten ourselves against the ground. The loud, rippling sound slice through the air again and this time it's followed by complete and absolute silence.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

**Tobias**

During my three years in Dauntless I've never witnessed as much blood as I did today. It's almost like you would believe she drowned in her own blood pool, but no she didn't. Someone shot her, in the head, twice. I over heard a detective saying, "that they didn't catch her," so then it has to have been a woman who shot Jeanine, but who?

The courtroom doors open and the crime scene investigators walk out and two of them are pushing a bier. I find myself wanting to ask who's lying under the cover, but I already know the answer. Tris clamp my hand harder as they walk pass us and into the elevator.

We all stand quiet in an uneven circle, neither of us knowing what to say. I'm not surprised when Marcus clears his throat and breaks the painful but calm silence.

"I think we can all say this is not how we expected this would all end, but the smart thing for us to do now is to let Erudite mourn over their lost of their leader. This isn't the outcome we'd hoped for, but we'll just have to put it behind us. At least we know she won't be able to hurt anyone." Pretending to care about Erudite and everyone else is very Abnegation of him, but I don't buy it.

"We suggest you all go home," Natalie says, "and if we hear anything we'll make sure you all hear about it. And remember, no one can know about our mission. People can start pointing fingers if they found out we wanted her behind bars. Rumors travel fast."

* * *

I open the door but I don't close it behind me. I look around my apartment and it doesn't feel like something I do every single day. I guess you can say that I've gone through a lot of trauma in Dauntless, but this time it feels different. Like it changed me.

I saw something, in court. I wasn't sure at the time but now a few hours later I'm afraid that I might be right. I know I don't need to remind myself because I will never forget her face but I ignore that, walk over to my dresser and I pull out the only photo I have left of her. Her features are the same as they were in my head, and instead of sensing the warming ache I always do; I feel only pain and hatred. This can't be true; I won't let it be true. Without really thinking straight I rip the photo in two and toss it in the trash.

I grab my jacket and I start walking. I walk faster and faster, until I'm sprinting. I can hear the sirens from a distance and I sprint even faster. The train passes and I run alongside the last car, grabbing the handle and swinging myself in. I'm too breathless to sit down so I walk back and worth, while going through it all in my head. Maybe I did see her face; I just didn't want to believe it. I remember this boy from Erudite a couple of years ago telling me that your brain can erase certain sights if your heart doesn't wanna see them. At the time I had no clue of what he was talking about. Now that I've experienced it myself, I do. I take a few steps before jumping into the empty cool air. I look around me. The buildings are still the same as the last time I was here, worn and destroyed with shattered windows and broken down doors. It's hard to believe that once upon a time people lived here. Wives trying to keep an eye on their children while waving goodbye to their husbands who were heading of to work to provide for their families. When I was still in school I learned in faction history that women didn't work at all before. They always stayed home to look after the kids and cook dinner.

I continue down the road with the broken buildings until I reach the one I actually came here for. Last time I was here I talked myself into never coming back, but this is an extreme exception that I can't avoid. I take a deep breath before I force the steel door open. Inside I hear loud noises and laughter and when I enter the first dank room it's like they all lost their voices. Judging by their facial expressions they're probably wondering what I'm doing here.

A man walks towards me and takes my hand. "Tobias," he smiles. "I'm Jonah. It's great to finally meet you. She speaks about you a lot." I feel like I should be, but I'm not surprised by him knowing who I am. Ever since I was little I've heard I look exactly like her. "It's this way, follow me."

"How are you so sure I'm here to see her," I say as steady as I can.

"What else would bring you here?"

I hesitate for a few seconds, trying to analyze his words. A few months back she said I was welcomed here when I felt the need to leave Dauntless, but I never thought about her still holding on to that becoming real. I shrug and follow Jonah into the next room. Behind me I can hear the group of people with the questioning facial expressions starting to whisper. Continued glares and silence greet me as I walk deeper into the building, passing more dank rooms filled with people. "She's back here," Jonah says and beckons towards a dark hallway. "I think you can manage from here." He puts his hand on my shoulder, and it feels like a gesture made for comfort, then he leaves. I walk through the hallway and I reach a door. The letter _E _is carved into its metal surface and I don't knock, I just walk in.

She stands there behind a rusty old desk, buried in piles of different files and papers. For what, I wonder? She looks exactly like the woman from the photo I tore up, only now her face looks more worn. Even though I've tried, I could never forget her face. Too many feelings surface at the sight of her and I struggle with my words. "Evelyn," I say.

"You came," she says and walks around the table, surveying me.

"I want to know the truth." It's a stupid way to start a conversation, but this is a stupid situation. I swallow the bitter taste in my mouth and the urge to turn around and walk away again.

She smiles, but I don't believe it. "There are many truths between us Tobias, you're going to have to be more specific."

"You know which one I'm talking about. Was it you?"

Her smile faints, and she looks tired. "I did what I had to do to protect our city." A jolt of disappointment and anger rushes through me and I feel my veins throbbing. I had been so sure of it, most certain I was right, but it was still a part of me who wanted to be wrong. Hoping that my eyes had fooled me and that it was just all in my head. My mother was exposed to a lot of violence when she was still living with Marcus, but I never imagined her being violent towards others. Too hurt to say anything else, I try to hide my disappointment with a simple question, although nothing about this is simple.

"How did you even know about her plans?"

"I have my ways, but they're not relevant."

I shake my head. "Even though you think you did everyone a favor, you still committed a crime and if they find out it was you then…"

She cuts me off. "I don't care Tobias, and besides they won't. I made sure of that."

"How?"

She smiles again, but I still don't believe it. "How are things going in Dauntless? Are you still staying there?"

I know I should change the subject back but from the years I knew my mother, trying to argue with her about something she already had made up her mind about was hopeless. "Of course I'm still there. I'm not here for that. I came for the truth, and I got it so..."

"You just arrived. Do you not want to sit down and talk?"

I look at my mother. The woman who used to be my only ally and the woman who sat across from me at the dinner table hiding behind her forced smile. I try to feel something, something else than anger, but I can't. That part of me went missing when I found out that she had been alive the entire time and had chosen to leave me. "No, I don't."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	32. Chapter 32

**Two months people, two months! I'm sorry for not updating. That's basically all I can say. I think every one who's in school can relate to being so busy this time of year. I've just had all of my national exams so I haven't had any time on my hands. Now I finally do and I can get back to writing! I have a lot of new ideas for this story and I'm so excited to share them with you guys. Happy reading ^^**

Chapter 32

**Tris**

"Who do you think it was?" Christina asks me as we walk through the doors to the glass building. It feels strange being back here. We went through so much when we were away, I feel like the Dauntless compound as changed through my eyes. I don't want it to feel like that; this is my home after all.

"I have no idea. I mean, who would be stupid enough to do that? What if they'd been caught?"

Christina nods. "Yeah tell me about it." I walk quietly behind her down the narrow path surrounding the pit. After walking here so many times, the edge with no railings still makes me nervous and I walk carefully. We decide to go to the dining hall to get something to eat. I've been so on edge these last 48 hours I haven't had time to think about food. We grab some dinner and sit down at an empty table in the corner of the room. Everything still seems normal here – the cook constantly slamming the pan on the stove, groups of people laughing loudly and food being tossed from across the tables. It's weird, but I missed being here. I missed feeling like my life was normal, and that I can actually enjoy it.

"So," Christina says and stuffs her mouth full with mashed potatoes. "What do we tell Max on Monday? We were all absent from work both yesterday and today, and we just started."  
Just as the last words leaves her mouth, I remember the conversation I overheard between Eric and Max just before I left. Max mentioned something about people getting suspicious about the lock down. I wonder if he was talking about the attacks, or if it was something else. What ever it was I have to find out. They must have had another reason than just keeping everyone safe. Maybe they wanted to keep everyone away.

"Hello? Tris?" Christina waves her hand in front of my eyes.

"Sorry, um, I don't know. I can talk to him."

"What would you say?"

"I'll come up with something." I scanner the room again - not really sure what exactly I'm looking for. My eyes drift back to Christina as she speaks again.

"I need to talk to you about something," she says.

I frown. "Sounds serious. What is it?"

She hesitates for a few seconds, like she's considering to say anything. "Something weird happened. But I don't really know what it meant."

"Okay," I say.

"It was just before Jeanine's trial. I went there alone cause Will was already there and when I got there I saw Uriah so we went into the elevator together and started talking, like normal you know." She looks over her shoulder over the dining hall, checking if someone is listening. She turns to me again and continues. "Then, he said this weird thing. I said that I was kind of scared of what was going to happen and then he said, "I'll be here for you whatever happens." Then he touched my arm and smiled. It was so odd, like he was hitting on me or something."

"But, he's with Marlene?"

"I know. What do you think?"  
"Well, he could just have been friendly. It doesn't have to mean anything special. Just don't avoid him and see what happens."

"I'm not avoiding him."

"Yes you are, because I know you."

She smiles. "I guess. But that wasn't even the worst part. I sort of, liked it."

"Liked what?"

"Him, caring, and I know that's so wrong cause I'm with Will. At least, theoretically…"

"What do you mean by theoretically?"

"I feel like we're not together anymore. There's so much space between us, I can't see us getting back to what we once were."

"You're giving up on him?"  
"I don't know what to do. And now when I felt… things for Uriah I don't know what my heart wants either. Argh, do you hear my struggles? Help!"

Christina always put on a brave face, for everyone and herself, but ever since I got to know her I've learned that she's a very sensitive and emotional person. She's never been very good at hiding her feeling from me. "I think the best thing you can do is talk to Will. See where he stands. Then see where Uriah stands."

"Why do I feel like there's a complicated week coming our way?"

"Because that's probably true."

* * *

I read the sign on his door, M A X. I picture Peters name up there, knocking on his door only to speak to him as my boss. I know Max's position is the one what Peter eventually will want, after Max is gone. Considering his good side with Eric that is a possibility, unless Eric wants it. That's a possibility too; he's always enjoyed power over others.

I lift my hand and just as I'm about to knock a loud and angry voice stop me.

"I needed her alive!" Max yells from behind the door. "Now we're never gonna know where she hid it."

"It wasn't our people who killed her. It was someone else, from the outside. We never could have known they were planning on killing Jeanine."

Max and Eric. I wonder if this has to do with their other conversation I overheard. It has to. I press my ear against the door, trying to hear better.

"Jeanine was the only one who knew where she's hiding. Now I'm never going to find her!" Who is he talking about?

"I'm sure someone else knows that can help us. We'll look into it later. For now you'll just have to give it a rest."

"You're in no place to give me orders Eric. Now leave, I don't want to see anyone right now."

"Of course sir."

I realize Eric will be walking out this door I'm pressing myself against and I quickly leave the corridor.

* * *

It's almost 11 pm and I haven't seen Tobias since we got back. I'm scared he's done something reckless but I have to convince myself that he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. His actions keep reminding me of that. I let the ice-cold water run over my hands in the sink and I look at my reflection in the mirror. I don't longer see what I saw before, a brave young woman ready for any obstacle heading her way. Now I just see a worn tired face, weakened by the changes she's facing. It's not over yet; I have to find out what Max and Eric are up to. I need to know what woman he's talking about that he so desperately needs to find. So desperate he was willing to kidnap Jeanine for information. Someone knocks on my door and I turn of the water. It's probably Christina. It was hard to shake her off earlier when I needed to talk to Max. I can't tell her about that yet, or at all. Not until I have all the information myself. I open the door and by my surprise Tobias is standing outside. "Hi," he says softly.

"Hey. I didn't expect to see you tonight."

"I know, I'm sorry. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." I step aside and close the door behind him. He looks distracted, exactly like I'm feeling right now. "You okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"A little distracted, but okay."

He nods. I'm not sure what to say to him right now. I can't tell him either about what I overheard outside Max's office. "So why did you come here?" Is all I can say, and it's a stupid thing to say.

"I just… I don't know. I wanted to see you."  
"Well, here I am."

He frowns. "Is there something you're not telling me Tris? Did I do something to upset you?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that you vanished after one of the most traumatizing things I've gone through without telling me. Just when I needed you. I really needed you, but I couldn't find you anywhere so I hung out with my best friend, and yeah of course that was nice but it doesn't change the fact that I needed you Tobias. Not anyone else, but you weren't here so when Christina went to find Will I was alone. I just… I just hate that I need you so badly. I can't…"

"Tris," Tobias grabs my wrist. "Slow down, breath." He looks into my eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I'm here now."

I look at him and I realize it's not him I'm angry at. It's myself, for not being able to share my problem with him. "I'm sorry," I gasp. "I don't hate that I need you. I love that. I'm just going through stuff right now."

He smiles carefully and it's enough to calm me down. "I know. We'll get through it."

I can't help but doubt his words. Sure, we'll get through _this_, Jeanine. I'm pretty sure I'm already passed that. Now I only care about who Max is looking for and why he thought Jeanine could tell him where this woman's hiding. Tomorrow I have my first shift in the control room. If I get the chance, I can track Max and see if I can get any useful information about his plans. Since I can't ask him directly, I'll just have to monitor him.

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

**Tris**

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock. I cast a glance at Tobias lying next to me. His chest is rising and falling slowly and the sunbeam from the window highlights his left cheekbone. Like this he looks younger, like the age he actually is. No set jaw, ocular eyes or tense shoulders. Carefully I slip out from under the sheets and get dressed. In 30 minutes my first shift in the control room will begin and I need breakfast. I leave the apartment and head for the dining hall. It's relatively empty, just two groups of three and four people. No one looks up as I enter so I pick a stray and fill it with everything that will keep me full until dinner. I won't have time for food during my mission today. Not wanting anyone of my friend to wake up to see me, I eat fast and leave almost as quickly as I came.

* * *

When I get to the control room a short girl with big curly black hair greets me.

"You're Tris Prior right?"

"Yeah. Yes, who are you?"

She smiles. "I'm Dana, Dana Welford. I'll be your supervisor today. I'll be here to teach you the basics and monitor you throughout the day." A jolt of disappointment goes through me as the last words leave her mouth. This means I won't be able to go through with my plan. I can't help myself to ask: "All day?"

She laughs and it's an annoying laugh. "Well, I have other things to do after dinner but that's when your shift ends as well so there won't be an issue there. Of course you can stay after that if you want but everyone is usually eager to leave as their shifts come to their end."

"I see."

"Well, let us get started Tris." She holds out her hand to guide me to a computer near the right corner of the room.

"Okay so first you press this button, and the computer will start. Usually they're already on since we have twenty-four seven supervision here in Dauntless." She giggles and I catch my self not liking her very much. "Then you click here to begin our monitoring program. You see that it has all of these tags but really you're just suppose to-"

I don't have time for this. I've been in this room before, maybe unauthorized, but I still know how to manage these computers. I have to come up with something so that she'll leave me for the day. I need to find out what Max and Eric we're discussing, who this nameless and faceless woman is.

"-and then you can just click here if you want to monitor more than four spots. Also-"

"Hey Dana?" I interrupt.

"Yes?"

"I am just not feeling well today. I think I might be sick to my stomach so I don't think I'll be able to sit here until lunch, or after that. Is it okay if we do this tomorrow instead when I'll probably feel better?"

Her stupid grin vanishes from her face and instead a frown appears between her eyebrows. "Well that is unfortunate. I guess I have no other choice than to let you go. We don't want you to feel sick. I'll come and see you tomorrow. In what apartment are you staying?"

"I um, 11 but I might be in 26 too."  
"26? Isn't that Instructor Four's apartment?"

I swallow hard. I didn't realize Four's apartment number was common knowledge among the Dauntless. "Yes. Is there a problem?"

She shifts and her grin appears again. "No not at all." I don't why but she seemed to have been caught of guard and she turns around and walks out of the room. I look after her as she hurries down the corridor and disappears around a corner. Strange.

I cast a glance around the room to see if anyone is watching me. Luckily no one is and I turn to my computer. I pick up the earphones from the box on the desk and plug them in so that I'll be able to listen to conversations as well. I look for Max's office for about three minutes before I find it. Unfortunately he's alone and sitting behind his desk, deep in thoughts. Still I unmute the screen and listen. There is only the sound of the pattering on his computer keyboard.

* * *

After what seems like hours Max gestures someone I can't see to come in to his office.

"Did you find anything," he says as a man slips into the opposite chair. Eric.

"Nothing yet. However recently, we've had a lot of-" he seems to struggle with his next words. "-Incidents in the eastern area of the factionless region. They're smart sir, too smart. The factionless are growing stronger. We have reasons to believe they're under the orders of a leader. A former official leader."

Max leans forward in his chair. "What do mean 'official' leader?"

"A faction leader."

Max lets out a noise that sounds something like a mix between a laugh and a snort. "Never has a faction leader left for the factionless, never in history Eric. You know that."

"But now isn't history sir. This is today and the city is changing. We can all feel it."

Max sighs and looks outside his window. "What exactly are you implying?"

"That's she's the leader of factionless. You know she's capable of that, and I know it too from everything you've told me."

Max keeps his gaze on the window. "It's true. Evelyn Eaton is the strongest woman I've ever met."

A gasp of horror escapes me and a boy further down the row of computers turns his head to look at me. "What is it?" he says and begins to get up form his chair.

"No nothing!" I say, a little too hasty. "I thought I saw something, but I didn't. It's fine."

With a suspicious look on his face he sits down again and I exhale with relief and move my attention to the screen again.

"We need to look into this as soon as possible," Max says and gets up from his chair.

"We can go tonight, when most of our people will be in their apartments. It is a week day after all and I'm sure they are smart enough to not spend all their nights partying and getting wasted."

"You speak so highly of them Eric," Max says and gestures him to leave. "We leave at midnight, bring five men no more. We can't risk suspicion if someone sees us. Nor can we risk Evelyn thinking we've come for something in the matter of violence."  
"Yes sir," Eric says and leaves the office.

As smoothly and quickly as I can I cancel all the windows open on the computer and leave the control room. I ignore the confusing looks from the other people behind screens.

**Tobias**

After I'm done with my workout I walk to my apartment. Tris' first control room shift is today so she won't be back until later today. I take a quick shower and then I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. It's not a very interesting one. Just concrete with a few cracks here and there. The very first week I moved in to this apartment I noticed that three of the cracks formed an image that looked like a broken heart. When I got here I thought it was meant for me, that someone chose this apartment just for me so that I would lie in my bed every night and look at it. Now, it's still there but I no longer relate to it. I reach up with my hand and close my right eye, and I cover the inner crack with my index finger in the air. Maybe my heart won't be broken forever and maybe it's not broken now.

At that, several loud and fast bangs on my door fills the apartment. They continue until I reach for the handle and open the door. Tris is standing outside, looking exhausted and sharp at the same time. Her hair is hanging loose over her shoulders and I catch myself wanting to run my fingers through it. "Tris, you don't have to knock you know. You can just come inside."

"What, and just skip the dramatic banging on your door?" she smirks and lets herself in.

I close the door behind her. "What's up?"

She glances around the apartment as if she's looking for something, then she turns to me and her smirk is gone. "I did something that I'm not really allowed to do."

_Of course_. I put my head in my hands and sigh. "What was it this time?"

"You know that I had my first shift in the control room today right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Well, I sort of overheard something on one of the computers. From Max's office."

"Tris, that's that overhearing. That's eavesdropping!"

She runs her fingers through her hair and sits down on the couch. "I know. I know that. I just needed to know what Max and Eric were up to."

"And, did you find anything?"

She smiles. "Now you're okay with it?"

"I didn't say I was okay with it. I just want to know if you found anything, that _matters._"

"Max is upset, he's angry that Jeanine is dead. But not for the reasons you might think. He told Eric that Jeanine was the only one who could tell Max the location of a certain woman he wants do find."

"Who?" I say.

She looks at me, and I only see sympathy in her eyes. I don't like being looked at in that way so I turn my head and fix my gaze at the brick wall. "Your mother," Tris says quietly. "Evelyn. He wants to find Evelyn. He thinks she's the leader of the factionless now and they're going there tonight at midnight."

She gets up from the couch and walks over to me. "Did you know, that she was alive?" I don't look at her and I don't answer her. What could I possibly say? She reaches out and takes my hand in hers. "Tobias… Please, look at me." I shift my eyes to her, but I still don't know what to say. "It's okay if you did. I won't blame you for not telling me."

"I found out before you came here." I say, not really sure when I decided to say something. "She left me messages to meet her and when I did she asked me to leave Dauntless and come join her in factionless."

Tris' eyes widen. "So it's true, she is the leader of factionless?"

I nod. "Yes."

"But how? She was a faction leader before she… left? Did she leave? I… I don't understand." She lets go of my hand.

"She faked her own death. Marcus didn't just abuse me, he abused my mother too. She couldn't stay so she faked her death and left."

"But, what about you? She couldn't have just left you in that house with him?"

I shrug. "I didn't want to believe she was alive when I first saw her. Because if she were, that would've meant that all you just said was true. And it was. And I hated her for it. But I knew our city was changing and I knew that being in Dauntless wasn't safe for me. But then…" I pause and look down. "Then you came to Dauntless and things changed. But yeah, I always knew she was alive."

For a moment neither of us say anything. Finally Tris says: "Do you know why Max wants to find her?"

"I wish I did."

"Well then," she crosses her arms in front of her. "There is only one way to find out."

"Tris there is something else I need to tell you."  
She frowns. "What is it?"

"I know who killed Jeanine."

"What did you just say?"

"I wasn't sure so I went to ask them."

With two long strides she reaches me and firmly grabs my arm. "You did what?"

I yank my arm back. "Stop asking me questions like you didn't hear what I said."

She lets out a frustrating noise. "Are you completely out of your mind? Since when do you have a death wish?"  
"It's not like that. I went to see my mother."

"You went to see Evelyn? When?"  
"Yesterday."

"What? Why?"

"Because I thought I knew who killed Jeanine, so I went and I asked them."

It takes a few moments for her to realize what I'm trying to say. "You mean-?"

"Yes. Evelyn, my mother, killed Jeanine Matthews in court and then she ran away."

"Tobias-"

"Look, I get it if you want to tell someone, but I can't do that. She's still my mother Tris and I can't-"

"Hey!" She grabs my arm, more carefully this time. "I wouldn't do that to you. But we need to follow Max and Eric tonight. Max doesn't know Evelyn is the one that killed Jeanine, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hurt her."  
"What else did he say?" I ask. "About my mother?"

"That she was the strongest woman he had ever known."

"They knew each other?"

She shakes her head. "I know as little as you know."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! - s**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

**Tris**

We hide behind a pillar as we watch Max, Eric and five others from Dauntless hurl themselves into the moving train. When all of them are inside we sprint side by side and we manage to catch up with the last train car. With help from Tobias I pull myself inside and he follows me shortly after. We slide down to the floor and I look out over the city.

"It's so dark," I say, knowing that this is a fact no one in Chicago has questioned.

"Yeah, it is," Tobias answers. "Now that Jeanine is no longer sneaking around with her research and plans, all the lights are out. Just light beams from the stars."

"_Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight_."

"That's beautiful. Is it a poem?"

"I don't know. Just something my mom used to say when I was little and we'd watch the stars from my window before I went to sleep."

Tobias puts his arm around me and pulls me closer. "Have you spoken to your parents since… Jeanine's murder?"

"No," I say and swallow hard. "They said they were going to be busy trying to find the person who killed her, so I decided not to bother them."

"I don't think they would see it in that way."

"In what way?"

"You _bothering_ them."

"I guess so."

* * *

The train begins to slow down and Tobias helps me to my feet. "We need to jump as late as possible. Maybe even too late."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"Past the landing platform. We can't risk being seen."

"Okay. Lead the way." I put my hand out to gesture him forward and he moves closer to the car door. He takes a few steps back and says: "Jump right after me. One, two, now!"

He disappears into the dark and I jump after him, letting my body be swallowed by nothingness. When I land it isn't on my feet. At first it just stings a little, but the pain grows more excruciating and I throw my body to the side. I bump into something hard and I wince. Then someone grabs my arms and pulls me to my feet.

"You okay?" Tobias asks and brushes something off my shoulders.

"Yeah." I look behind me and I realize what it was that had stung so badly. Growing several feet tall above me is a red rose bush with sharp thorns everywhere. "Ouch." I say.

"Look," Tobias says and lets me go.

I turn my head to see Max, Eric and the others walk fast toward the broken down building further down the road. "Let's go," I say and we slowly follow them.

* * *

We keep our distance and hide in the shadows while silently tracking them. I remember being taught tracking back when I was an initiate. They taught us the right strategies and methods and how to avoid being discovered and leave a trail. The most important lesson was to be silent and I close my eyes to improve my hearing. There is only the sound of the wind tearing in my hair and the pattering from Max and his follower's boots. Then something forces me to open my eyes. Before I get a chance to look down and see where the loud crack came from Tobias pulls me with him behind the building wall and presses me against the brick wall with his own body. It reminds me again of how small I am and how big he is. He covers my mouth with his hand and puts a finger against his lips.

"What was that?" I hear Max saying from a distance away. "I thought you said you checked if we were being followed Eric?"

"I did, every second since we left. No one followed us. It was probably just the wind knocking something over." Inaudibly I thank the wind for being blustery tonight.

"Let's keep going," Max says and mutters something I can't hear.

Tobias drops his hand from my mouth and glowers at me. "I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't see what I was stepping on."

"Maybe because you had your eyes closed," he says irritably and peeks around the corner.

"I was…" I begin but I better not get into it. "Whatever, let's just go."

Tobias nods and we continue following them.

* * *

When they finally stop in one of the alleys it is in front of a tall building that's growing four floors above them. It has multiple shattered windows and on the first floor is a dented steel door. When Max tries to open it nothing happens. Eric steps forward and gestures Max to move away. He grabs the door handle and yanks it hard. It opens to a small gap and with enough force the second time he manages to pull it open completely. Gunshots once made me jump, but not anymore. I've heard enough of them to only respond by reaching for my own gun in my holster. Tobias grabs my arms to prevent me from lunging forward. I watch Eric fall hard against the ground, then the other men one after one. I see Max trying to crawl behind the steel door for cover. His scream echoes through the alley way as a bullet buries itself into his leg.

"Hold your fire," a voice says loudly from inside the building, a female voice. A few seconds later two men emerge through the door opening. To my surprise they help Max to his feet and drag him with them inside the building. Tobias loosens his grip on my arms and I break free and run towards the building. I can hear his footsteps behind me as I reach Eric's and the other's bodies. Eric's eyes are open but still. The bloodstain on his chest is growing bigger, soaking his gear in a black-red color. I feel numb and I have to look away. After all the things he's put me through, I can't feel his death as a loss.

"Tris, we have to keep moving," Tobias says and gently takes my hand in his. I nod and we walk through the door opening. Maybe I should, to acknowledge what just happened, but I don't look back.

**Tobias**

Eric's dead. That is something I never thought I'd acknowledge as long as I lived. There was even a part of me that thought he might kill me someday. I posted no threat to him, but I always knew he felt like I did.

"Through that door," Tris says next to me. I remember walking here yesterday, through all the dank rooms filled with people. Now it's empty, not a single soul in sight. When we've walked through the last dark hallway we reach the door that has an _E _carved into it. "Evelyn?" Tris asks.

I nod. "They must be in here," I say.

"What do we do? Should we just burst in there?"

"Do you have any other suggestions?"

She doesn't say anything so I reach for the handle and open the door. I note the guns pointed at us when we step inside the room but I fix my eyes to Evelyn behind the desk, and Max on the chair across from her. "That's enough boys," Evelyn says, and the men behind the triggers lower their guns. "Tobias," she says. "What a surprise. I don't suspect Marcus is with you?"

I ignore her question. "What is going on here?" It is a stupid question and I hate asking it, but I don't know what else there is to say.

"Well, why don't you explain Max," Evelyn says and leans back in her chair. "After all, you are the one who came here an intruded my home."

"That's not what-" Max begins but falls silent when Evelyn shifts her eyes from him.

"I see you did bring a friend," she says and beckons toward Tris. "Who is she?"

"I'm Tris, Tris Prior," Tris says and steps forward.

"Ah, Prior," Evelyn says. "You're Natalie and Andrew's daughter."

"I am yes. But that's not relevant."

Unable to stop myself, I say: "Why are you here Max?"

He sighs. "I needed to see your mother."

"Why would you-" I begin but something loud and sudden stop me.

"What was that?" Evelyn says and gets up from behind her desk. "Who else is with you?"

"No one," Max says and he looks afraid. I've never seen Max afraid before. "I called for backup. I thought you were going to kill me. I- I didn't know."

"What, that she killed Jeanine?" Tris says.

Max's eyes widen and Evelyn puts a hand to her mouth. "What did you just say?" Max says but before Tris can answer him, a group of Dauntless men bursts through the doors.

"Evelyn Eaton!" one of them calls out. I recognize him from the patrol group. "You are under arrest for the murder of Dauntless Leader Eric and five of his men."

Evelyn doesn't protest. She just looks tired. "You can add Jeanine Matthews to that," she says.

"Evelyn?" Max says but she doesn't look at him. She walks over to the Dauntless men and put her hand together in front of her. "I surrender."

Never in my life I expected that I'd see my mother get arrested. When I was younger I used to have a dream about my father getting arrested in front of our Abnegation house, and me and my mother standing on the front steps, watching him be taken away. In the dream I felt no sorrow. It surprises me that now, I do. "Mom," I say, but I don't know why. I don't have anything to say.

"I'm so sorry Tobias," she says. Then two of the men lead her out of the office and she's gone. I feel Tris' hand slip into mine and I squeeze it gently. It is our way to see if the other one is okay. I'm not, but I squeeze her hand anyway.

Two of the Dauntless men walk over to Max and one of them checks his wounded leg. "Sir, is there anyone else we need to arrest?"

But Max doesn't answer him. He's staring into the opposite wall, his eyes fixed on one spot. I walk over to them. "Guys, can we have a moment alone with him."

"I don't-" one of them says but Max interrupts them.

"It's okay Luke. Clear out. I need to talk to Four and Tris."

"Sir-"

"Now," Max says and I'm surprised by the roughness in his voice.

* * *

When everyone has cleared out and it's just me, Tris and Max, Max finally faces us.

"You both know that Marcus abused Evelyn, just like he did to you Four. I knew that when you came to us almost three years ago. Evelyn and I knew each other from when we were younger and over the course of the years she lived with Marcus, the two of us used to meet up in secret places and we'd talk about everything. She'd tell me about how Marcus was hitting her and I desperately tried to convince her to leave him. But she didn't think anyone would believe her if she told people what a monster he was. Then we fell in love. I cared about Evelyn so much and I knew her better than anyone. We had spoken about her faking her death before so when I heard that she was dead, I didn't believe it. But when I didn't hear from her I tried to convince myself that she was actually dead. I really tried to but I just couldn't and I searched for her everywhere. The years went by and eventually I had to give up and accept that she was gone. It wasn't until Jeanine Matthews came into the picture and told me Evelyn was alive that I regained my hope. She had the location of Evelyn in a disk that she had hidden somewhere in Erudite headquarters. She told me that she'd tell me where it was but of course, it came with a price. She wanted my help to take down all Divergents and the entire faction of Abnegation. I told myself that Evelyn wasn't worth it, no matter how much I loved her. But I failed myself and I agreed to Jeanine's demands. A day before the operation I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it was too late to stop Jeanine's plan. I could only stop her, but I needed her alive. I arranged a lockdown in Dauntless to keep everyone in place and I sent a group of my men to Erudite in disguise to capture Jeanine and bring her to me. But something went wrong and they failed the mission. At the time I didn't know that Natalie Prior and Marcus Eaton were planning on capturing her too. I learned that when an insider from Erudite told me that a trial for Jeanine's crimes was going to be held. And then she was murdered. I didn't care about Jeanine at all, she deserved what she got, but she knew where Evelyn was and so I had nothing, no hope of finding her. Eric had reasons to believe she was hiding in factionless, and I agreed to look into it. If it wasn't for him I may not have found her, and now he's dead and Evelyn is gone. Again, I have nothing."

A million questions are spinning around in my head, but there is only one I manage to get out. "So you had no idea Evelyn was the one who killed Jeanine? Or why?"

"No. Did you?"

"Yes she told me when I confronted her about it."

"You knew where Evelyn was hiding all this time?"

"Yes, she contacted me when I came to Dauntless," I say. For some reason I feel guilty. Guilty that I knew where my mother was but Max didn't. He did love her after all. "Maybe she didn't reach out to you because it was the safest choice."

"Maybe," Max says and looks away. "So, why did she do it?"

"She said she had to do it, to protect our city."

Max smiles. "She's selfless like that."

I don't believe my mother did this out of selflessness, but telling Max that would be unnecessary. "Well, we should go now," I say. "We'll see you back at Dauntless I suppose?"

"I suppose so," Max says. Finally he looks at me, then at Tris. "Do you remember our conversation in the training room? I said that I accepted your relationship, but I did not approve it." Tris and I look sideway at each other but say nothing. "Well, that's changed now. I can see a bright future for the two of you. A future you both have declined from me once."

At that the door opens and a man, Luke, enters the room. "We should get you to the infirmary now sir, before you lose too much blood."

Max nods and the rest of the Dauntless team enters the room with a stretcher. It's odd to see Dauntless taking care of someone in this way. Usually it's just: _Keep going no matter how injured you are_. I suppose it's different when you're a leader.

Tris and I watch them take Max away and then it's just the two of us.

"What now?" Tris says.

I pull her closer by the elbows and touch my lips gently to hers. Then we part just enough for me to say: "We go home."

**See ya'll soon. Be brave! -s**


	35. Epilogue - 3 years forward

**Alright, this is it. Last update was the 20th of August and I'm sorry it took so long until you guys got the final chapter. But during this time I've moved to a different country, changed schools and left my family and friends. It's safe to say that I've had A LOT going on.**

**I finally finished the last chapter and I'm sad that I won't be taking it any further than this, but I feel like a 3 year jump would allow me to finish the story in the best way, giving every character their own closure. My love for writing grows every single day and letting a project like this go is hard. I started writing it in 2014, published it on January the 13th in 2015, changed it so many times since and now 2016 is coming to an end. Almost three years of writing and developing this story is now over and it breaks my heart a little. **

**I can't really thank you guys enough for reading and following 'What if' and leaving me comments saying how much you love and appreciate it. That has always been my motivation and the best part of publishing it here on . I'm amazed by how many talented fans and writers there are out there. It's fun to explore already known worlds and characters and try and make your own creative versions of them. I'm most definitely not done with writing fan fiction. It's something that I really enjoy. I just felt that my Divergent writing days were meant to be over now. **

**It's been so much fun and I've grown so much as a writer during this time. I'm now looking forward to start something new and some of you might even recognize it. It's a little book series I've fallen in love with called The Mortal Instruments by an incredible and talented writer called Cassandra Clare. Do you guys know it? ;) ****It won't come anytime soon cause time is not on my side these days, but keep an eye out cause when I do post it, it'll be here on this account.**

**But as for now, I LOVE and APPRECIATE you guys so much. I'm really gonna miss this. Hopefully I'll be back soon with some new things. If you've got any questions you'd like to ask me, send me a message or leave a review. **

**Thank you for everything!**

* * *

Epilogue - 3 years forward

**Tris**

"I mean it," Tobias shouted angrily. "You're not leaving this training room until you've thrown up at least once. C'mon youngsters, keep it up!"

"Four, you don't' think you're being too hard on them?"

"Absolutely not. Look at them slacking. It's pathetic!"

I laugh a little. "Well, if you say so. You have after all been an instructor for two more years than me."

"Exactly. I know what I'm doing."

"Alright, well I'm gonna go talk to Fiona. She looks a little helpless over there."

Tobias smiles. "She reminds me of you, you know."

"Really? How?" I say, partly out of curiosity.

"Different reasons." He grins, and it's obvious that he won't say anything else.

Wanting to ask more, I push back another question and turn to walk over to Fiona who's fiercely but tiredly hitting one of the punching bags with an iron wooden bokken. I stop a few feet behind her and watch her technique. It's clear that she needs to work on her footwork and balance. She uses her arms too much, forgetting the advantage of her feet.

"Hey," I say.

She turns around quickly as if she didn't expect someone to sneak up on her, which she probably didn't. "Instructor," she says and it's still odd hearing someone calling me that.

"You can call me Tris, it's fine."

She nods. "Tris."

"How is it going for you over here?"

"Okay I guess. I'm just trying to figure out a way to not having to throw up like Instructor Four said we had to."

I smile. "He's just trying to scare you guys. It's fine. You won't have to throw up."

She exhales with relief and I'm surprised that she actually believed him.

"Do you want some help? I was watching your technique and it could use some work."

Her face expression tightens but she doesn't flinch. I know giving criticism is a part of the job and I've accepted that. "Sure."

I grab another bokken from the wall and stand in front of her. "Alright first, plant your feet wide. It's more than necessary to use them."

She does and then she asks me something I wasn't expecting. "Are you and Four dating?"

Without answering I strike my bokken at her and she's fast enough to answer it with her own. "Don't step into the strikes, step through them," I say. "And I don't see how that's any of your business?"

"It isn't. But it's pretty obvious." This time she strikes at me but I'm already there and I manage to shove her backwards, causing her to lose balance.

"See? Footwork. Balance. Plus you didn't step through the strike, just into it, and like that you won't get enough force to push back." I widen my feet. "How is it obvious?"

"Just from the way you two look at each other. Especially when you think none of us are watching. There's been some talk and everyone is convinced that you're a couple."

"Some talk?"

"Yeah, first it was just like a rumor but now people believe it. We're like waiting for a more obvious sign than just a desperate gaze between the two of you."

I strike at her again with the bokken; more force this time and she meets it with her own. One, two, three hits then I bring her bokken down to the ground so that it's stuck underneath mine. She tries to wiggle it free and let's out a frustrating noise. She moves her right foot forward and manages to kick my bokken out of my grip. Just as she raises hers again I grab a hold of it and bring it down so that her body flips around it and she lands on her back.

"You need to work on your defense," I say. I offer her my hand and she takes is. I pull her up and she stands to brush of dust from her jeans. When she looks up she doesn't look at me, but at the curious glances from around the training room.

I turn my head to the sound of someone applauding. "Now that," Tobias says, "is what I would call a real battle. Nice work Fiona. Sorry you had to lose though."

"I'm cool with that," Fiona says and takes her bokken from my hand.

"Alright guys," Tobias says more loudly this time. "You can leave for the day. Today's training was, well, pathetic. Tomorrow I need to see more from you." He waves his hand as if being totally uninterested. "You're dismissed."

Within two minutes they're all gone and it's just me and Tobias left in the training room.

"So," Tobias says and starts walking toward me. "What do you want to do before the party tonight? Maybe we could just go back to the apartment?" He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me closer.

"Actually," I say and avoid his lips. "I was thinking I'd go talking to Will. I think he's still pouting over it all."

Tobias sighs but lets me go. "Yeah, okay. I'll stay here and do my own work out for a while then."

"You're too good," I say with a playful smile. "Bye!"

* * *

I don't have to look for Will very long until I found him, right by the chasm in a small hidden corner where we used to hang out and talk back when we were initiates. He still goes here sometimes, usually alone.

"Hi old friend," I say and take a seat next to him, letting my feet dangle over the edge.

"Hey," Will says, still looking down.

"You okay?" I ask, knowing the answer already.

"What do you think?"

To that I say nothing. Instead I say: "It's been almost 1 year Will. You guys tried to make it work, but now… you just have to let her go."

"I know that," he says. "Some days it's just harder than others."

"I know."

"Tris," he says quietly. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, sure. Anything."  
"Do you ever think about Al?"

I'm surprised by his question and I have to look at him to see his facial expression, but he's still looking down. "Sometimes."

"I do, a lot. I wonder if it was something we could have done. You know, to save him."

"I thought that too, for a long time. I even blamed myself, but we just can't think like that Will. Al made his choice, and it was an awful one and I wish he hadn't. God, I even wished it would have been me instead." I take Wills hand in mine. "But he's gone, and we're still here and I know that he would have wanted us to live on. It's okay to not feel guilty."

"Yeah, I guess. It's just hard-"

"I know," I say and squeeze his hand a little harder. "I know."  
We sit there quiet for a while. It's nice to just let your thoughts relax sometimes, only listening to the roar of the chasm, as I have many times.

"So," Will says after a few moments. "Have you talked to her lately? Is she happy?"

"They are." He nods. "Uriah actually wanted to tell you that he was sorry and that he never wanted to go behind your back in any way."

"I know that. I'm not angry with him, or Christina. More at myself, for screwing up the only good thing I had going in my life."

"You didn't screw it up Will," I say, almost too angrily. "You just weren't meant to be."

"I heard they're having a moving in party tonight."

"Are you gonna go? I think you should."

He smiles a little. "I know you do. I was actually thinking that I would. Like you said, I need to move on. Plus I still care about her and I want to show her my support. If they're happy, I'm happy for them."

"That's good Will," I say. "Really good. But you know they're not getting married right?"

He laughs a little, stands up and offers me his hand. "Not yet anyway."

* * *

I say goodbye to Will and start walking towards my apartment. Lost in thoughts I don't notice Christina coming up at my side.

"Tris?" I jump at the sound of my name. "You in there?" She waves her hand in front of me.

"Yeah, sorry."

A grin tugs at the corner at of her mouth. "What were you thinking about? You're usually so aware of everything going on around you."

"You really want to know?"  
"Always."  
"I was thinking about Will."

The grin disappears and she shifts her eyes in front of her. "Oh."

"He said he would come tomorrow. He wants to show you guys his support and that he still cares for you."

"That's what he says."

"Christina, you keep saying that you're over him, that you have been ever since you guys broke up, but you if you were you shouldn't still be upset with him."

"I'm not. I just don't believe him. Tris he shut me out for so long after I broke up with him, even though he agreed it was the right thing do to. That made me not trust him."  
"But that was so long ago now. He's really trying, and I think you should too."

Christina sighs. "Fine. I will try."

I take her hand in mine. "That's all I'm asking for."

She smiles a little. "I actually had to tell you something."

"Yeah?"

"Four wanted me to tell you to meet him in the office. Why I don't know."

"Alright, thank you."

"Of course. Boss."

I roll my eyes. "Don't. Just don't."

* * *

I open the door to the office to find Tobias in the chair behind the desk. He smiles and gestures me to sit down in front of him.

"I know it's mainly your office but sitting in this chair makes me feel-"

"Ordinary?" he says. "You're not, trust me."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

His smile widens. "Well, whatever it was it's not true."

"So," I say. "Why did you want me here?"

"I got some news from Jacob, and he told me that they'll be having a final decision meeting next week. A voting will be held with an equal amount of people from each faction and the factionless. We'll know the same day after the meeting."

"Oh my god Tobias, this is great news!" I stand up, too excited to be still. "I can't believe they actually agreed to it."

"I know, and it's all because you Tris. A year from now, there might not be any factions left. We'll all be equals."

"I just can't believe it."

"I can, " he says and walks around the desk to put his arms around me. "You worked so hard for this, to make this city a better place for us, and our future generations," he pauses for a few seconds. "Max would be proud."

My heart breaks a little at the sound of his name. "You know that it's six months ago today?"

He nods. "I also know that if he were still here he would fight like hell by your side to fulfill what were trying to do. His heart was as pure as yours is."

"Do you miss him?"

"Everyday."

"I do too."

* * *

I stand in front of the mirror; trying to apply the mascara that Christina gave me for my birthday. I think she has shown me how to do it millions of time but I ever seem to get it right. Eventually I give up and walk out of the bathroom.

"No luck?" Tobias says while buttoning his shirt.

"No…" I say and stalk into the bedroom. I can at least wear the outfit she picked out for me, a black strapless dress with an A-line skirt that fits closely around my waist and slightly wider at the bottom around my knees. I strip out of my clothes and slip the dress over my head. She was right about it showing off your curves, though mine aren't very notable.

"You look stunning."

I turn around to see Tobias leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. He gestures me his arm. "Shall we?"

I smile and take it, and we leave the apartment.

* * *

When we reach their apartment I can hear loud music from inside, proving that when Christina said something small, she lied. Despite the music almost echoing down the corridor, I knock on the door, not wanting to overdo my welcome. When the door opens I'm so surprised by who it is that I drop my small bag on the ground.

"Peter?" I say.

He bents down to pick up my bag. "Hello Tris. Four."

"What are you doing here?" Tobias says harshly.

"Ease up Four. We're all friends here."

"I wouldn't exactly call you my friend."

Before Peter gets the chance to reply, Christina appears behind him. "Tris! Four! You made it! Come on, come in!" She grabs my wrist and pull me with her inside the apartment. Tobias silently follows, taking my bag from Peter.

The entire apartment is filled with people dancing, drinking and laughing. The flickering light changes color every few seconds and it's an odd sight to see in the caves of Dauntless. "Wow," I shout. "This is really something."

"I know right," Christina says and reaches for a cup of something from the counter.

"Sort of ironic to have a moving in party and you can't really see the place," I say.

"Well, you know me and my parties. They start out like this, then I kick almost everyone out and it's just us left."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Dancing has never been my strong suit so I walk around and talk to people instead. Tobias doesn't dance either, but Christina physically forced him to dance with her. I stand remotely in a corner of the apartment, watching Tobias bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, looking uncomfortable and Christina slinking in a circle around him gracefully. I can't help but laugh when Tobias suddenly trips over his own feet and has to steady himself on a boy next to him. It's funny how his smoothness in battle doesn't reflect over his dancing at all. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see Marlene and Lynn standing in front of me.

"Having fun?" Lynn says, her arm around Marlene.

"I am yeah."

"I'm not," Marlene says. She glances around the room with an angry look on her face.

Lynn makes a noise that sounds like something between a chuckle and a snort "Ever since this one came out of the closet she thinks everyone else has too."

"I swear that girl was flirting with you!"

"She wasn't," Lynn says. "She just smiled. Smiling is normal you know."

Marlene rolls her eyes. "I still think she has an eye out for you."

I can't help but ask. "Who?"

"That annoyingly pretty girl over there," Marlene says and throws her head slightly to the side, "with the pink stripes in her hair."

I turn my head to look. Marlene was right, she is pretty.

"Be careful," Marlene says. "If you stare too long she'll think you're gay too."

A loud voice drowns my laugh. "Party's over everyone! BYE!" The lights are switched on and the crowd starts to slowly move towards the door.

Tobias appears by my side, lacing his fingers with mine. "You okay there?"

"Yeah. Just enjoying watching your kick-ass moves on the dance floor."

"Don't remind me." He presses his lips to my temple. "C'mon, Shauna said she and Zeke had some announcement to make."

We take a seat around the living room table with everyone else. I didn't see him earlier but sitting across from me alone in one of the chairs is Will, looking like he's out of place. "I'm going to go sit with Will," I say to Tobias.

"Hey," Will says as I sit down next to him.

"Hi, I'm glad you came."

He smiles a little. "Yeah, me too. They seem really happy." I follow his gaze to Christina sitting in Uriah lap, kissing Christina's shoulder."

I nod. "Yeah they do." I look back at Will. "Are you? Happy I mean."

"I will be, someday," he says a little sadly.

I take his hand in mine, something I usually do with Will. "I know you will."

* * *

After a few minutes of chatting, Zeke stands up and clamps his hands together. "Okay everyone. Me and Shauna have an announcement."

The voices fade out completely and everyone stares intensely at Zeke.

"I guess there's no better way to say this so I'm just gonna say it. Shauna is pregnant!"

I exhale with astonishment. Of course Christina is the first one to speak. "Oh my god for real?"

She stands next to Zeke. "It's true. We just found out a couple of days ago." She lays her hand lightly on her stomach. "Eight months to go."  
Before I can say something my voice is drowned by the loudness of everyone else's cheers and laughter.

"I can't believe you're going to be a baby daddy Zeke," Christina says cheerfully as she hugs him.

Zeke smiles, and it's the brightest I've seen in a long time. "I never knew I wanted this," he says and takes Shauna's hand, "but now I can't imagine anything else."

I can't help but feel a twinge of longing as I watch Zeke proudly stroking Shauna's belly. It's been over three months since I saw my parents. I've been so busy and I haven't had the time to go see them. A part of me hasn't wanted to see them either, the reason being that I'm afraid. I'm scared that they won't approve of my project. My dad has always been traditional, and even though he agrees with the fact that our faction system creates more problems than solve them, he still wants it to exist. It's always been in Chicago and if-

"Tris?" _If _will have to wait. "Did you hear me?" Tobias says.

"No," I run my fingers though my hair. "Sorry, I didn't. What did you say?"

"That it's time to go. Everyone is leaving."

"Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's go then."

I hug everyone goodbye before we leave and congratulate Zeke and Shauna one more time. Before the door shut behind us I glance back into the apartment, seeing Zeke and Shauna embracing each other and I feel the ghost of longing again. This time more faded.

* * *

**"**This isn't the way," I say as Tobias suddenly takes a left turn into another tunnel. "I thought we were going to the office?"  
"We have time for that later. I want to show you something first," he says without glancing sideways.

I smile. "I thought I knew every square of this headquarter by now."

"You probably do yes."

"Then what-"

"Shhh," Tobias whispers.

I don't ask anything else. Instead I let him lead me through the tunnels. Through the tunnels to the- "The chasm?" I say discontented. "You wanted to show me the chasm?"

"Follow me."

* * *

The chasm is one of the places that I'm most familiar with in Dauntless. I walk behind Tobias down the narrow slippery path that I've must have walked thousands of times. I barely notice the river spraying cold water on my ankles, or the shimmering light coming from above. Instead of sitting down we lean against the cool stonewall, Tobias's arm around me. The fast-moving black water rushing beyond the edge is more peaceful than frightening at this point. This is where I come for comfort and I've never been hurt here. Well, hardly ever.

"Do you remember the first time I took you here?" Tobias says.

"Of course I do. I could never forget."

"You know," he says and pauses for a few seconds before he continues. "I can't pinpoint the exact moment that I fell in love with you, and I think that's because it was always there. Even before I met you. I was in love with the idea of finding someone like you. Someone who understood me and who loved me for all the ways that I am me. When you came into my life it was like you're were a light guiding me towards what I'd always been looking for. You." Tobias usually never talks like this. Not unless something's happened.

I look up at him. "Tobias are you-," I say but he continues as if I hadn't spoken.

"We've been through a lot together and it's made me realize that we are always and absolutely better together. I've never been good with words and I just wish I knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do, to make you understand how much I love you."

"I do understand." I untangle myself from his arms and stand in front of him. "You're underestimating yourself because all of those words you just said, are more than enough to convince me that you love me. You don't even need words Tobias, cause I already know. I know you love me as much as I love you. That's never going to change."

He nods. "Since the first time I saw you, since you jumped into that net, I've belonged to you." He detaches himself from the stonewall and places his cool but soft hand on my cheek. "I'm not going to get down on one knee. I'm not going to ask you a question. I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you want it. If you want me."

To stun to say anything, I throw my arms around him and he embraces me and lifts me up in one graceful movement. I feel his strong muscles under my hands as I run them over his back. My knees feel suddenly weaker as his lips silently shapes my name. I pull away slightly and he cups his long finger under my jawline and touches his lips to mine, a kiss that catches fire and escalates to several ones. Hot relaxed slow kisses that speed up as our heartbeats do. A mixture of tongue and teeth, a nip at my lower lip and heavy breaths. When we separate at last I manage a whisper: "Tobias Eaton. Did you just ask me to marry you?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

**Again, thank you for everything. Be brave! -s**


End file.
